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Original poster

All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

532 replies

WandaWomblesaurus73 · 05/01/2022 21:08

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

OP posts:
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11
Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 08/01/2022 16:55

She made Snowladies in my garden with big unapologetic boobies and NO carrots anywhere!

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 08/01/2022 14:46

You should have seen what she did with the carrot on MY snowman! 😱

Deadringer · 08/01/2022 14:44

Whenever i go shopping i join what appears to be the short queue, but i always seem to end up behind JKR, who delays everyone because she always has dozens of coupons, most of which refuse to scan.

CircleofWillis · 08/01/2022 13:52

That's nothing! She stole the snowman from my carrot!

777magic · 08/01/2022 12:43

She stole the carrot from my snowman!

GlitterBiscuits · 08/01/2022 12:40

Did JKR ruin milk chocolate? I think she did.

DialSquare · 08/01/2022 12:36

JKR stands in front of me at the station ticket barrier scrambling around for her ticket as if it's a shock that said ticket is a requirement for entering/exiting the station.
JKR also does a similar thing in front of me in the supermarket queue for her purse at the moment of payment, rather than utilising the time in the queue to locate it.
JKR stops dead in front of me in the middle of the pavement to have a conversation on her phone or talk to someone she has just seen.
She's insufferable.

ISaySteadyOn · 08/01/2022 12:18

All husbandly snoring is JKR's doing, clearly.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 08/01/2022 12:16

JKR gets my own hand and punches me with it while saying "Stop hitting yourself ". She also licks her finger and sticks it in my ear.

Waitwhat23 · 08/01/2022 11:55

@CeratopsofthePharoahs

JKR made my husband start snoring like a drowning warthog. JKR also made the expensive earplugs I ordered get lost in the post so I still end up decamping to the couch. JKR is responsible for every unsolved crime. Zodiac killer? JKR. Jack the Ripper? JKR. She also has all the missing gold from the Brinks Matt Job. I have my suspicions about the two princes in the tower too.
DB Cooper? Look no further than JK Rowling. The two initials and a surname set up means she's practically confessed!
AbandonedCharacter · 08/01/2022 11:51

I keep forgetting what I go into a room for. JKR obviously has cast a spell on my short-term memory!

Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 08/01/2022 11:15
I've found a great "creepy cake" recipe - a Chocolate Monster Book of Monsters.

JKR will ruin it though by putting her long arms through my window and adding too much baking powder to the mix making it bitter and twisted.

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Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 08/01/2022 11:11

@theqentity

Careful MN, you're one step away from full on Glinner madness. You'll be sending people creepy cakes to their homes soon.
Have you got a recipe for this "creepy cake" you speak of? JK Rowling keeps ruining my muffins by making my brain unable to follow recipes, edicts and compelled speech.
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ErrolTheDragon · 08/01/2022 10:57

She's got too much Goddess Energy, for sure. I think she might have my share of it.m

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 08/01/2022 10:41

JKR made my husband start snoring like a drowning warthog. JKR also made the expensive earplugs I ordered get lost in the post so I still end up decamping to the couch.
JKR is responsible for every unsolved crime. Zodiac killer? JKR. Jack the Ripper? JKR. She also has all the missing gold from the Brinks Matt Job. I have my suspicions about the two princes in the tower too.

NitroNine · 08/01/2022 10:07

Wrong side [of history] @theqentity: harassing J K Rowling at her home (& online, & via her publishers…) is the preserve of TRAs.

This is - you may need to sit down in a comfy chair there’s no risk of your falling from before you continue reading - a silly thread. Designed to mock the [emerging] trend for blaming JKR for the world’s ills; to act as a pressure valve via utter ridiculousness (or possibly casting Riddikulus); & to serve as a break from what can be quite heavy & at times even distressing discourse in this sub-forum.

Contrary to Ms Lauper’s assertion, girls don’t just want to have fun, but when the occasion presents itself we’re not averse. (Oh & we can even understand that while using “girls” to refer to ADULT human females can be problematic, making lyrics - or indeed poetry - scan may require it; so please no dredging up of anyone objecting to said usage.)

Abhannmor · 08/01/2022 09:58

I was thinking of JKR as I dunked a ginger nut in my tea - just then half of it fell off into the cup. She is a weapon! Sad

IcedCoffeeMilkshake · 08/01/2022 09:45

@highame

JKR makes me sit in my dressing gown for most of the morning so that when someone comes to the door I have to explain that I have been too busy to get dressed.

IcedCoffee you've just enhanced my weekend viewing, will dig out Rosencrantz and add to In The Heat of The Night. Best weekend watch in ages Smile

Great idea! have fun. :)
YetAnotherSpartacus · 08/01/2022 09:42

TBH I kinda resent her for killing Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin and Fred Weasley. I didn't finish the second to last book (I gave it away) and I didn't bother with the last. I started reading the books because I wanted a magical Mallory Towers with happy endings and it all sent pear-shaped.

theqentity · 08/01/2022 09:34

Careful MN, you're one step away from full on Glinner madness. You'll be sending people creepy cakes to their homes soon.

highame · 08/01/2022 09:33

JKR makes me sit in my dressing gown for most of the morning so that when someone comes to the door I have to explain that I have been too busy to get dressed.

IcedCoffee you've just enhanced my weekend viewing, will dig out Rosencrantz and add to In The Heat of The Night. Best weekend watch in ages Smile

IcedCoffeeMilkshake · 08/01/2022 08:48

aaahhh.... another Gary Oldman fan? No-one in my RL understands my devotion! (Since Rosencrantz and Guildernstern are Dead days- I am n for the long haul).

Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 08/01/2022 02:59

JK Rowling told Gary Oldman not to go out with me.

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KimikosNightmare · 08/01/2022 02:33

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

I've heard she stolen a TARDIS from Gallifrey, and is planning a Cyber man vs Dalek War.
Actually if she could arrange a mass shoot out so each is exterminated by the other that would be good.

They've both run their course. The New Year Dr Who was v. dull.

KimikosNightmare · 08/01/2022 02:30

@Moneypennysfreedomfund

She stopped my ganache from setting properly She personally ensured that the Boxer puppy we bought 11 years ago still acts like a puppy Also made my spaniel pee on the floor in the vets because he was scared ….
That's an interesting one. I'm a good baker and I can make all sorts of interesting icing/ frosting , including the uncooked meringue one into which you then whip mountains of butter. The recipe warns " it might curdle" Ha, no it doesn't- not on my watch.

BUT I rarely manage to make a cream cheese frosting work. Whether I put the cheese in first and add the icing sugar or put the icing sugar in first and add the cheese- it's runny more often than not.

I hadn't thought it might be her malign influence but that makes sense. The times it has worked she was probably spoiling someone else's ganache.

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