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Original poster

All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

532 replies

WandaWomblesaurus73 · 05/01/2022 21:08

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
highame · 11/01/2022 07:51

I do hope JKR and/or her staff have seen this thread 😂😂 there days will have been brightened (as have mine)

777magic · 11/01/2022 06:59

@WandaWomblesaurus73

I was standing at the bus stop in the rain when a tall purple bus went past at high speed near the pavement, straight through a deep puddle, completely soaking myself and the family of five next to me.

JK Rowling was the driving the bus.

I saw that happen! She was driving without a licence too!

(This morning I remembered about her trees outside her home engulfing the lampposts and laughed my head off Grin )

CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 10/01/2022 21:03

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

She stole my family tree to make her wizarding world!

(I've found a marriage between a Gaunt and a Longbottom today when researching my family tree online!)

ShockShockShock that's so cool!!!!
NitroNine · 10/01/2022 20:59

Er, did anyone else in this thread just hear a burst of anguine utterances? Shock

For reasons known only to herself, J K Rowling has caused an order of dog poo bags to have spent the day claiming it will arrive here by 10pm, despite said items not, according to the tracker service, at any point leaving the parcel depot (which, for avoidance of all doubt, I don’t live anywhere near).

Perhaps she’s planning to apparate along with them at the 11th hour (or, well, more the 9th hour?) in a moment of Dramatic Rescue? Or perhaps I should just accept she is almost certainly sprawled happily on the landing by the top of her mansion’s imposing staircase, surrounded by craft things, & using her ill gotten poo-bags as parachutes for suitably sized items of HP merch. (If you’re missing dental floss, string, thread or wool I think we know who has it…)

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/01/2022 18:58

She stole my family tree to make her wizarding world!

(I've found a marriage between a Gaunt and a Longbottom today when researching my family tree online!)

Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 10/01/2022 00:56

I was standing at the bus stop in the rain when a tall purple bus went past at high speed near the pavement, straight through a deep puddle, completely soaking myself and the family of five next to me.

JK Rowling was the driving the bus.

OP posts:
ErrmWTAF · 09/01/2022 23:09

Had it not?... >sadface<

I like some of the dancers' hand gestures, though. Clearly from New Jersey, they were. 😁

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/01/2022 21:47

@Rhannion

JKR pees in swimming pools.
From the highest diving board.
Rhannion · 09/01/2022 21:44

JKR pees in swimming pools.

KimikosNightmare · 09/01/2022 21:27

[quote ErrmWTAF]I know we're doing this for different reasons, but all these hilarious allegations remind me of John Oliver in rare form...

Full video here (the song is at the end):

[/quote] The ONLY way that could be better is if it had actually been HBO's legal counsel.
NitroNine · 09/01/2022 18:00

Arguably the epilogue ruined the end of the HP series even without JKR literally spoiling it…

Seriously, we could have had graduation, The Final Feast, & Exit, flying on Thestrals. Siriusly J K Rowling, how Ron could your choices get? (Well, having Hermione marry Ron - Mr Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon - is a prime example.)

BettyFilous · 09/01/2022 16:50

Oh thank you @ErrmWTAF! That was glorious. 👏👏👏

ErrmWTAF · 09/01/2022 16:31

I know we're doing this for different reasons, but all these hilarious allegations remind me of John Oliver in rare form...

Full video here (the song is at the end):

Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 09/01/2022 14:43

JKR ruined the end of the Harry Potter books for me by ringing me up just before the last chapter of Deathly Hallows and telling me the ending.

OP posts:
777magic · 09/01/2022 09:54

@RJnomore1

You should have seen what she did with the carrot on MY snowman! 😱
Oh! Grin
777magic · 09/01/2022 09:53

@CircleofWillis

That's nothing! She stole the snowman from my carrot!
Grin
Igneococcus · 09/01/2022 09:39

I have no snow because JKR has stolen it all for nefarious purposes rather than sharing it out nicely round the UK.

You know that famous picture from 2010 (or 2011) when ALL of the UK was covered in snow supposedly? Well it wasn't, there was about a 3 mile snow free zone around my wee West coast Scotland hamlet, we didn't see a single snowflake at that time. It just dawned on me who is to blame for that.

SirSamuelVimes · 09/01/2022 09:32

@CircleofWillis

JKR snck p n m nd stle ll my vwls.
GrinGrinGrin

Brllnt.

Giggorata · 09/01/2022 02:38

Do you know what she's gone and done now? Made a nail stick up in the wooden floor, which I trod on 😡

theNumbersStation · 09/01/2022 00:50

Th fckr

CircleofWillis · 09/01/2022 00:35

JKR snck p n m nd stle ll my vwls.

NitroNine · 08/01/2022 20:45

I have no snow because JKR has stolen it all for nefarious purposes rather than sharing it out nicely round the UK.

Pudmyboy · 08/01/2022 20:30

You know when you are on your way home and don't need a wee, but as soon as you put the key in the door you are bursting for one? Guess who?!

theNumbersStation · 08/01/2022 17:25

She made Snowladies in my garden with big unapologetic boobies and NO carrots anywhere!

Just because you couldn’t see where she put the carrots doesn’t mean it wasn’t there…

The snowladies weren’t complaining.

Bit of a naughty one that JKR 🥕 🥕

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/01/2022 17:21

She made dh catch the nasty cold that I’m just getting over.

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