All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

I'd definitely blame JKR for the faff of handling anaerobe tubes.

I had no idea glucomannan came in a rice version. I grew microbes many years ago which used glucomannan as almost their only carbon source. I used to buy konjac noodles from a Japanese shop to add to the medium, they were hell-a-fiddly to get into the narrow anaerobe tubes. (I don't think any of this is JKR fault though).

vegan crunchie bar for breakfast this morning

I blame JKR for the fact that I now know this exists and is considered a viable breakfast option.

However, I also assign full responsibility to JKR for the fact that a member of my household has decided that what I need this evening is a faux rice that contains both riced cauliflower and glucomannan rice. There has to be some dissembling spell in place and JKR is the likeliest source.

She also wrote a baking book called the Bunbury Baking Guide For Witches Who Won't Wheesht and every recipe works perfectly.

Smug bitch.

She made my DH buy bagels without checking if we already had some bagels and now the bread bin is full of too many bagels.
On top of that she made me gluten intolerant.

JKR is the keeper of the Gender Sorting Hat responsible for all the assigning at birth business; & she murdered Albus Dumbledore to death for daring to say You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon….

She also forced me to eat a vegan crunchie bar for breakfast this morning. At wandpoint. Yes she did.

JKR is the little voice inside our heads that tells us if someone is a man or a woman.
She told Roy Orbison that the pretty person walking down the street was a woman.
She told James Blunt that the beautiful person in the subway was a woman.
She told Peter Andre that the mysterious person was a girl.
She is The Assigninator.

Can I mention something bad JK actually did? Forced me to listen to my ds ask me why Barty Crouch jr dressed up as moody and helped Harry win the triwizard tournament rather than just grabbing him from hogsmeade one weekend. I had to be like ‘wellll… he… it’s all very complicated to be honest… I’m sure it made sense to Voldemort.’

424 very bad, no good, awful things JKR has done (and counting). And apparently helped Putin try to Sudetenland Ukraine. I don't know where she finds the time to write books, films, plays and (most importantly) tweets AND be Goddess of the Known Universe as well.

Oh wait, she's got a Time Turner. Well that explains everything..

JKR compelled us to spend family money on an amazing day out to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child . An experience none of those who went are likely to forget.

If you're anywhere round Covent Garden, you see so many happy deluded groups of people wondering around wearing Harry Potter clothing and going to the Photographic Exhibition (and possibly Cursed Child as well).

The novels, the films, the theatre. Lifelong impact. How could she.

She shit on my pillow. How rude.

JKR has been texting Putin so they can get together and have a billionaires party with those posh Viscount biscuits, spoiling each other with Ferraro Roche and Fondant Fancies.
Together they are planning the end of the West. And then they will ride around naked on Tigers.

She made my box of cherries go soft and mouldy, and she took all the big packs of easy-peeler satsumas from my local Sainsbury’s so I only got a 600g pack in today’s order. So it will be her fault that I will have to eat biscuits instead, and her fault my diet fails yet again.

FFS. She's gone and finished the cereal again. (Shakes fist in a "why I oughta!!!!" sort of way)

There’s no bolly in my house, Boris must have snaffled it! And I thought it was Jkr.

JKR didn't tell Boris it was a party.

J K Rowling made the rebounding echoes of desolate fox cries sinister sounds & songs & silences from the Forbidden Forest wake me up just now.

My kneazles are flopped out fast asleep, but this is not as comforting as it probably should be.

CircleofWillis…

DON'T DRINK IT FEELINGGOOD! I usually dispose of her drinks in the large spittoon next to the fireplace when she turns around.
The only time I actually drank a beverage there I woke up with two extra kidneys.

I ate some fruit there a few years ago and now I have to spend every winter in the underworld*
This did make me laugh!
Have no fear, I dashed it to the floor where it is eating it’s way through. very much like the film, aliens.

butnobodytoldme this made me laugh too! I am trying to think of a suitably witty quantum mechanical joke in return, sadly I have no sense of humour. Jkr has stolen it. Humph.

[quote Aroundtheworldin80moves]@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn look at a news site named after a colour. I started browsing it to try and understand the TRA mindset.[/quote]
You’re a brave woman.

I think JKR hid Shroedinger's cat (but it is hard to tell)

Damn, I wanted to do the Super Secret DuoLingo course in Dinosaur that is ONLY for Gender Critical people.

Now I shall never be able to say “My postillion has been struck by lightning” (or any of these similarly useful phrases) in dinosaur. (Which I assume is a kind of cross-species speech: like a super-ambitious ancient Esperanto for the hugenormous birdy-lizards.)

@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn look at a news site named after a colour. I started browsing it to try and understand the TRA mindset.

We're stealing dinosaurs now?? Awesome. I want a stegosaurus.

Mind you, I'm only just coming to terms with how much shit my rabbits produce in a daily basis so maybe I'm not ready for Dino ownership yet.