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Original poster

All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

532 replies

WandaWomblesaurus73 · 05/01/2022 21:08

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
ChristmasPlanning · 07/01/2022 00:53

She made me eat a huge portion of cheese & crackers instead of a salad

Feministwoman · 07/01/2022 00:53

JKR took my sense of humour! You all need to get a grip, I tell you! A grip!

Itsjeremycorbynsfault · 07/01/2022 00:10

I need to change my username Grin

Snugglepumpkin · 07/01/2022 00:07

I had this genius idea about a series of books I was going to write just last week, about this kid who wore glasses & had a scar & lived under the stairs but then it turned out he was magic.

What do you know?
JK stole it from me, stole the Tardis & nipped back in time to publish it before I could even finish coming up with a title or decide what my author pic was going to look like.
I hadn't even had time to pick a font!

There goes my career as a world famous writer of books about Wizard schools.

Just hope she hasn't heard my latest one about Fantastic Beasts...

oh.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 06/01/2022 23:22

JKR has evil superpowers. She cast a spell to destroy Daniel Radcliffe's acting talent. And Emma Watson's, and Rupert Grint's. If you don't believe me, have a look at their work since the Harry Potter films.

Rhannion · 06/01/2022 22:15

JKR is the real Keizer Soze!

theNumbersStation · 06/01/2022 21:48

JKR makes CrynKeef throw things in his bucket.

KettlePolly · 06/01/2022 21:47

SleepOhHowIMissYou You to OMG see I KNEW there was some witchcraft at work because in my head I look so very different! The truth is out there! I shall be cancelling and ceremoniously smashing them all at the earliest convenient moment. Not now though I'm watching Pottery Throwdown.

theNumbersStation · 06/01/2022 21:39

You want to talk mirrors?

I don’t even get to look at me.

Pure MadamMim. A feral one at that.

Not even the right merch 🧐

Waftypants · 06/01/2022 21:20

Gosh thanks AsTrees. That pesky woman must've been at my mirrors too. Probably at the same time she messed with the fan in my bathroom so it makes a noise like that flipping egg that screams when Harry tries to open it. She's a piece of work alright.

AsTreesWalking · 06/01/2022 21:10

JKR made all you witchy dinosaurs much too funny, so that I am now trying not to snort and wake my unwell BH.
AND she's done the mirror bewitching thing on me as well - must be a favourite of hers. Wicked.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 06/01/2022 21:07

Who puts the Lego pieces on the floor r that you ALWAYS stand on? JKR...

ErrmWTAF · 06/01/2022 21:00

@Benjaminsniddlegrass

Forget Agatha, it was JKR all along.....
Benjaminsniddlegrass, I just fell in love you a bit. 😁
Twatling · 06/01/2022 20:51

@SleepOhHowIMissYou

JKR enchanted my mirrors so a fat, middle-aged woman looks back at me.
She did this to me aswell. The absolute nerve of the woman
ANameChangeAgain · 06/01/2022 20:48

She probably threw the bombs over the wall from Israel to Palestine, just to set up the antisemitism claims against Emma Watson.

ErrmWTAF · 06/01/2022 20:47

Because HP merchandise is everywhere, I can't find Firefly merch.

But I can't blame her entirely. I'm sure George Soros and his Jewish space lasers are involded somehow.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 06/01/2022 20:41

JKR enchanted my mirrors so a fat, middle-aged woman looks back at me.

Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 06/01/2022 20:31

It was very, very, cold today so I thought I'd put my warm coat on. Just my luck that JKR strategically zipped up my pockets while I wasn't looking and when I went to put my hands in them, ended up scraping the very dry skin on the backs of my hands against the zips on my coat for ten minutes before realising they weren't open.

Thanks JKR.
Thanks.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/01/2022 20:24

It was JKR who made dh ignore me when I asked him to buy Sudafed nasal spray at the chemist, meaning he bought the liquid instead. I know the nasal spray works - I was so looking forward to being able to breath, and I don’t think the liquid is going to do the trick.

ArabellaScott · 06/01/2022 20:16

OUCH! Stop it, JK.

OUCH!

theNumbersStation · 06/01/2022 20:14

I’ve just eaten a rather large portion of macaroni cheese because she made me do it.

Shame on you JKR. Shame on you.

And you spoiled my carbycarbycarbcarb sesh by knobbing off with the garlic bread.

I’m watching you lady….

NitroNine · 06/01/2022 19:17

JKR is forcing me to have [Ben & Jerry’s salted caramel brownie non-dairy] ice-cream for dinner by giving me phantom wisdom tooth pain. Fiendish.

whichiswitch · 06/01/2022 18:05

@PeeAche

JK Rowling gave me Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I know it was her because it sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

She worked that spell on me too.
Waitwhat23 · 06/01/2022 17:50

@viques

She keeps going into Tesco’s and taking those chilli rice cracker snack things I like. OH YES YOU DO JKR, don’t try and deny it. And stop mocking me by leaving the boxes on the shelf so I know that if I had got there five minutes earlier I could have wrestled you to the ground and grabbed a couple of packets.
I know exactly the ones you mean and have the same issue. She must travel up and down the country with that exact aim. HOW do you do it JKR?
SirSamuelVimes · 06/01/2022 17:41

@ErrolTheDragon

I am sure She Walks Among Us.

Don't you mean tramples all over us?

Good point!

Or Stalks Among Us, foul Spectre of Death and Misery (and missing pens).