Misgendering.

It's because misgendering is seen as obliterating the person. Saying they don't exist and by definition wanting them dead. That's why deadnaming is such a big deal.

Oh ffs talk about un-necessary drama, some people are choosing to interpret misgendering as this. We've discussed the reasons someone might misgender and they range from accidental to control but none are wishing someone dead.

I believe Madigan's correct pronoun is "your litigiousness".
As are the many.

It’s because misgendering is seen as obliterating the person. Saying they don’t exist and by definition wanting them dead. That’s why deadnaming is such a big deal.

LM will be just one of many, many G/S students willing to sue to get what they want. Some of whom will have far deeper pockets than LM and far fancier family connections.

LM will not feel nearly as special at G/S.

(I went there 15 years ago)

It is always all about obedience training

This. Worked in France yonks ago and - as an English speaker - was charmed by the (to me) elaborate dance around avoiding using 'you' when addressing someone at work for the first time. You basically seemed to try to let the other go first and use (more formal) vous or (familiar) tu. So instead of 'Would you like to see the report now', you'd hear 'Shall we look at the report now' etc. Found it fascinating.

If I couldn't bring myself to use she/her with a male born person, I imagine I'd slip into rearranging sentences in a similar way, avoiding pronouns. Or maybe I'd just talk like my 2 year old DN and say 'LM has left LM's laptop on the train'.

Misgender? No. Forced use of pronouns? Also No. Polite restructuring of sentences Yes. Wonder if LM would get LM's lawyer onto me?

Re Lily above, very ladylike glad I don't have a daughter going to Goldsmiths

One group demands we break greeting and naming conventions, and instead introduce a system that uses a power dynamic

What other reason could there be for someone who is obviously male, and presenting as male, requiring 'they' for instance. Its absolutely a power trip and utterly narcissistic.

There are two different things going on here. Accommodating a man with gender dysphoria by using she, so as not to upset him.

And the recognition of men who use that convention to purposely dominate women.

Which is why everyone can accept the right pronouns, at exactly the same time as rejecting them. Because it becomes very obvious what motivates the request.

I utterly reject that I can't call these misogynistic, power crazy men, he and him.

Layer upon layer of deceit and manipulation are swiftly and quite breathtakingly revealed, when you post a photo of people like Jane Fae as a man, for instance.

It's like a visual Babel Fish. It instantly translates what you've been reading into something quite different. And the only shock left is how you could ever have fallen for it in the first place. Calling a man she is the first stage in the mistranslation.

So yes misgendering, like almost all of this, needs challenging, as it is is entirely dependent upon who is asking for it. And again, the backlash will only serve to hurt men who have genuine gender dysphoria.

There was a thread a few weeks back where a number of women shared how often they are misgendered. (I was on it but NC since)

Male is the default in our world so someone has to notice/realise you're female to apply she/her and despite obviously female presenting others don't notice. As commented above it's also about making the point to a woman they aren't performing femininity right either in appearance or more often behaviours, so it often happens in a predominantly male gathering.

Females either ignore the misgendering or politely correct.

I used to be able to use the gender pronoun people wanted me too but the more I've realised how much of the TRA agenda is around controlling women I am finding it harder. If someone makes an effort to present as female and most importantly acts as a woman rather than a controlling male I can but if they have obviously male features they have made no effort to disguise (e.g. Excessively Bushy eyebrows which are cheap and easy to adjust) or have obvious male entitlement/violence my mind just can't make that cognitive leap.

"Male person uses threats and legalities to control women's access to education" is hardly a new phenomenon, is it? Well done, Lily, for upholding the patriarchy so thoroughly.

It's about dominance and submission.
First I make you say what I want.
Then I make you do what I want.
Finally you accept you are my subordinate

It is always all about obedience training

Nailed it.

It's about dominance and submission.
First I make you say what I want.
Then I make you do what I want.
Finally you accept you are my subordinate.

It's taking a line from cults, secret societies and authoritarian movements, too. If you're not using the secret language correctly, you're not in the club and can therefore be denounced or ignored safely, while those who know the "correct" and most recent shifts maintain a sense of superiority. For e.g. the Masons, if you don't do the funny handshake, you don't get the investment tips and promotion offers. For TRAs, that means keeping the headlines and social media alight, silencing moderate views and feminist voices with the implied threat of losing work and reputation. In Maoist China, it meant killing off the older generation to remove political opposition.

Well I suppose if you want to change the world by changing your pronouns, and reconstructing a new world around you, and people refuse to play along, it can be rather enraging, to a certain type of person, i.e., the type of person who would demand this.

Current thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3334268-the-handmaid-s-tale-and-language
Extract from article discussed in OP:
"One of the ways a society oppresses its people quickly is through language. So the handmaids are also given a new vocabulary. They learn to quash the metaphors (“this is your stop”), the slang (“that sucks”), the brands of modern life (“fucking Uber”). The language of their new world is stiff, rote, antiquated, and God-centric. “Blessed be the fruit,” is the common greeting, which elicits the answer, “may the Lord open.” The expected farewell, “Under his eye.” Any expressions of positivity are met with, “Praise be.” When Offred meets the man whose children she’s assigned to bear, he says, “Nice to meet you.” She struggles with how to answer, and her eventual response—”You, too”—is obviously taboo, causing a ripple of discomfort across the room."

The false equivalence around this issue is really difficult. A trans activist can say, with perfect sincerity, that they have received death threats, because they believe misgendering to be anihilation. And then feel perfectly justified in issuing more traditional baseball bat related threats of violence in retaliation.

I genuinely wonder that if they had been told, again and again, that it was one of the worst things that could happen to a person, literal violence, then they might have experienced it quite differently

I have been thinking the same thing. When added to the constant repetition of the probability of self harm, suicide etc it becomes potentially very powerful and dangerous.

Thing is, I have several people close to me that have been constantly "misgendered" for years and years, and neither of them could give a single shiny shit. It hasn't invalidated their identities, it hasn't rocked their sense of self, it hasn't caused them any grief at all. It hasn't caused them to change their gender presentation in order to have a better chance at being correctly addressed as their biological sex. One is a straight young man, and one is an older lesbian. Both are happy and secure in their identities.

I genuinely wonder that if they had been told, again and again, that it was one of the worst things that could happen to a person, literal violence, then they might have experienced it quite differently. As it happened, they just accepted that is was a thing, no biggie, and moved on.

Maria Maclachlan instructed to call T Wolf by preferred pronouns (she /her) in court. Wolf was convicted of assault.

Maria Maclachlan's experience of court:
(extract)
"My testimony
Obviously, I was the main witness for the prosecution. What made the headlines after the first day was that District Judge Kenneth Grant told me I had to pretend Wolf is a woman and call him ‘she’. While I’ve often found it quite easy to forget the sex of ordinary, decent, trans folk, I find it impossible to think of Wolf as any kind of woman" (continues)
www.peaktrans.org/blog-the-ostensible-trial-of-tara-wolf-part-1/

One group demands we break greeting and naming conventions, and instead introduce a system that uses a power dynamic.

This. It is pernicious as well as anti-feminist to make "misgendering" a social crime because it puts all the power into one party's hands. Like everything else of a hyper-individualist nature, dominance defaults to whoever has the structural power. Everything about this movement is regressive, LARPing as transgressive, and that includes "misgendering".

We have greeting and naming conventions so we can politely address people, even when they are strangers. Its a social contract. The normal, everyday social greeting is not abusive. It is the opposite of abusive.

One group demands we break greeting and naming conventions, and instead introduce a system that uses a power dynamic

The potential consequences of this need serious consideration,

extended article 2015:
'Beyond 'he' and 'she': The rise of non-binary pronouns'
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34901704

It's worth cross-referencing this thread, too: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3334268-the-handmaid-s-tale-and-language

Enforcing language change is a deliberate manipulation tactic. Changing pronoun rules in the way that TRAs do is part of that.

Please be clear I'm pointing at TRAs here - people who genuinely go through the process seem to pick their gendered pronoun to match their final modification and stick with it without all this "literal violence" stuff.

Social behaviours are designed to reduce tension within social groups, and to increase social cohesion.
We have greeting and naming conventions so we can politely address people, even when they are strangers. Its a social contract. The normal, everyday social greeting is not abusive. It is the opposite of abusive.

One group demands we break greeting and naming conventions, and instead introduce a system that uses a power dynamic.

What other reason could there be for someone who is obviously male, and presenting as male, requiring 'they' for instance. Its absolutely a power trip and utterly narcissistic.

This has been a key issue for both Edward Lord and Gregor Murray both of whom identify as non binary and have preferred pronouns they/them.

Both hold / held significant public roles & have been in the national press recently:

theads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3332582-Trans-councillor-leaves-roles-after-threats-to-life

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3316098-Childrens-Convenor-Elected-Councillor-calls-women-cunts-on-Twitter-rants

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3323475-Surprise-The-Masons-now-welcome-Transwomen-but-not-women

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3317922-City-of-London-Corporation-consultation-is-out-this-covers-Hampstead-Ponds