Evidence of misandry on Feminist chat.

Oh, and there's another one. Some people like to sail, some collect things, and some hang around feminist spaces writing "angry of Tunbridge Wells" letter to the editor style missives about how the wimminz aren't speaking about our experiences in the way they'd prefer. Interesting to speculate what's lacking in their lives that would lead them to take up such a peculiar hobby.

What on earth is that Mumsnet Sucks website??

Crikey. If you don’t want to be pegged as an MRA, haggis, then linking to that website won’t help you out there.

Also agree with bertrand - if there is misandry (big if, given that it is not at all the equivalent of misogyny, as pp have also explained) to be found here, I’d suggest the women who are doing it are the ones who treat the men in their lives like helpless children incapable of finding the washing machine, and who think that a tendency to rape and violence are inbuilt to the male psyche.

Not feminists, in other words.

“I would like to call people on the whole '90% of violent crime is commited by men' thing that then becomes justification for tarring all men as potentially violent without qualification“

Tricky. There is a difference between “tarring all men as violent” and “tarring all men as potentially violent” The first is obviously wrong. The second? Well, if I was OLD as a straight woman or a gay man for example, I’d have that in the back of my mind........

Worita

Black people who say 'i hate white people' are routinely called out on it by white and black people.

Because it doesn't matter how they try and justify it, it's a racist and unacceptable thing to say.

Every online feminist space has someone like larry hanging around the fringes, being tedious. It's an odd hobby.

Phew...............

It does feel as though some posters are trying to define misandry in such a way that it effectively can't be demonstrated, and yet the same people are quite happy to take any evidence of a woman being disadvantaged by a man in any way as clear misogyny.

For what it's worth I think the answer is somewhere in the middle.

I would like to call people on the whole '90% of violent crime is commited by men' thing that then becomes justification for tarring all men as potentially violent without qualification.

I wonder if the same people would be happy if we applied that argument to black people in the US for example? They are statistically more likely to commit crimes, therefore can we describe all black people as potential criminals without any qualification?

Or use women being more far likely to commit fraud or shoplift as justification for treating all women as dishonest liars?

Of course not, because we recognise it's a bigoted and narrow minded thing to do.

“Our number one rule should be to "be nice", because you know what ... you just catch more flies with honey

I was assuming that worita was being sarcastic/ironic.......she was, wasn’t she?

Well, the top google search says that misandry "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex)."

So by definition it's misandrist when someone "dislikes men" for any reason. You can't pick and choose what counts as their reason.

(And I very obviously wasn't saying that all men rape, I can't believe you NAMALTed me in response!)

I actually wouldn't be surprised if some feminists (and non-feminists) "hate men". The moment you see the results of millennia of sexism all around you, it's hard to gaze at all the perpetrators with unblinking adoration. Add in some shitty experiences and I can easily see it turn to hatred, or something like it.

That said, the boards here don't seem rife with it. Any time there's the remotest hint then there's lots and lots of people taking it down, and sometimes more fuss about that than the issue being talked about.

We're very eager to never get it wrong because (sarcasm aside) any poor activity by one person gets reflected on to the movement, and people like you come along saying the entire board/movement is shit.

As an aside, I wonder if the same people would go on to a predominantly black forum advocating for rights, where some tired, angry person sick to the back teeth of racism writes in frustration "I hate white people". Would you type angrily "Your racism is appalling! You're putting me off as a white person! Not all white people are bad, you whitist."

I'm guessing usually not, you'd feel uncomfortable approaching a group you acknowledge to be oppressed. You'd think "something's made them that way, maybe someone's been really shitty, I can't judge". Even if you were a member of the same community, you might be cautious because you'd think you'd obviously had different experiences, and you could sympathise with the feeling of oppression they're expressing.

But women are just oh, so, so much easier to tell off. Especially because we're socialised to always be nice and reasonable and placate people.

I must say that I think there's a very key difference between women fighting back, and men using it to oppress.

And I agree with Bertrand - the low-level "men don't see dirt" is clearly misandry, and yet that gets ignored by men, in preference for going after feminists calling them on their poor behaviour towards women. I wonder why that might be?

10th rule of misogyny
The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.

Oh, and for the record, I don’t think all men are rapists. And neither does anyone else
This has categorically never been said on MN.

Our number one rule should be to "be nice", because you know what ... you just catch more flies with honey

WTF.

Women, we're not doing our job of being nice properly and NAMALT NAMALT NAMALT

And larrygrylls has literally confirmed what I posted at 06:46.

Ladies, be sure to never point out male pattern violence or rates of sexual crime because = misandry.

But do you accept that ‘men are rapists’ (unqualified) is misandrist,

Like that, all alone? Sure.

If we were talking about types of crimes committed though, putting it in context in a sentence, then saying 'women are shoplifters, men are rapists', it's a description of data, so not derogatory.

If I was going to look for misandry I wouldn’t look on the feminist boards. I’d look on all the bits of Mumsnet where it seems to be taken as a given that men are completely incapable of looking after their children, cooking a meal, buying a birthday present, doing the washing, packing a suitcase or functioning as an independent adult.

Oh, and for the record, I don’t think all men are rapists. And neither does anyone else.

I will go on a proper computer (on phone) and paste a few later. But do you accept that ‘men are rapists’ (unqualified) is misandrist, for instance. If not, you don’t really believe misandry exists, so the process is pointless.

Yes larry, op is aware that people think what you think and is so asking for examples....have you got any?

I agree!

Look, please can we all just be a bit be nicer when we're talking about equality in general?

Just because there's one group of people who widely oppress another (whether intentionally or unintentionally), there's never any call to be rude or sarcastic or express frustration at them.

Not all men are like that. None of them are hateful, and nothing they do is either, and if you ever express any frustration or hint to the contrary, well really you demean and degrade the whole movement. Bang goes equal pay! Because user283646 said "I hate it when men rape women".

Our number one rule should be to "be nice", because you know what ... you just catch more flies with honey 🌼🤱🏻🙌❤️💕 #love #peace

You won’t find Misandry if you define it out of existence.

You say something vile about men, then say either ‘they have the power so it can’t be misandry’ or ‘I meant men as a class, not, you know, actual real men. Clearly you are too stupid to understand feminist analysis’. Or even ‘men have being saying/doing this to women for millennia so that makes a little light hearted teasing about setting genitalia alight fine’.

The FWR boards on this site have always reminded me of Animal Farm. Women who want to overthrow men in order to tell the majority of the remaining women how to behave and what is or is not ok to think and do in the new matriarchal paradise. And if you are not down with that you are a handmaiden to the patriarchy.

The only main topic in feminist chat in about 2 years.... is the Trans debate...

What seems to come up a lot in the Trans debate is how women believe we have the right to single sex spaces away from men.

Painstakingly inserting NAMALT along with every comment on male pattern behaviour can be tiring and easy to forget so I can only assume someone has said
"Men commit 80% of all violent crime and 98% of all sexual crime so we quite like spaces just for women" and forgot to put NAMALT at the beginning and end of that statement.
= misandry.

I think I remember that thread Haggis, and it was roundly denounced as an unacceptable thing to do, and bullying - which seems to be your memory too.

I'm really not seeing widespread misogyny or manhating examples yet.

Do you have examples of this anti-male sentiment? Do you mean things like quoting stats which show men commit most violent crime? Or something less factually based?

Hope I'm not coming across too MRA as a new member posting examples of misandry!

I think it's likely an understandable but harmful byproduct of many women's negative experiences at the hands of men. I've lurked here for ages and find feminist discussion genuinely interesting but am put off by some of the anti male sentiment at times in all honesty. As a pretty easy going guy I find a lot of the male behaviour described on here as frankly quite alien, whilst not doubting for a second that it occurs.

I do remember another recent one in which a poster told how her teenage son had been dragged across the room by his female classmates and they had pulled his trousers down and laughed at his small penis. This was, I think, in reference to posters on here casually penis shaming ("I bet he's got a small manhood" etc) and how it can be psychologically damaging. I remember other posters not being particularly kind to her, but can't really remember the thread that well. It was fairly recently but before I delurked.

So in conclusion, in this case the evil misandry that we're supposed to be keeping a watchful eye out for literally is just women talking about things that men do/have done to them?

I don't know what has prompted this thread. I haven't seen any claims being made. I thought the little boy thread was nasty , goady and stupid (as were a couple of replies) but I said so on the thread. I didn't mention misandry.

You misunderstand my point BloodyMarie As far as I'm concerned the woman who is married to my husband's brother is a racist. In law her views are racist and as far as I'm concerned morally she is too.