Tell me lovely things about having a baby girl

Not read the whole thread, but I think it's easier to raise a girl in a gender neutral way than it is to raise a boy.

Girls can generally wear "boys' clothes" and play with "boys' toys" without negative judgment. Boys are more likely to be negatively judged (by the unenlightened) if they do the reverse.

So from a feminist perspective that's made it easier to have girls.

I also wonder if, if I'd had a boy, I might have laid on the "don't be a sexist dick" thing a bit too thickly.

Manatee, honestly, seriously, that little girl is the luckiest child ever. She's got as a Mum one of the most kind, intelligent and thoughtful posters I've ever known on this website.

Congratulations (even though you can't have it yet!) I'm thrilled for you

I have a girl and was so relieved about it. I was so pleased to have one for the very reasons you think its tough to have a girl. Yes its crap that we dont have gender equality but I intend on raising a daughter who challenges and questions her position in the world. It wont be like this forever as long as new generations of girls and women are raised to challenge the ideology.

I just want to raise her to know what she feels and wants is just as important as anyone else, male or female. I will encourage her to question anyone who says pink is for girls or superheroes are for boys etc etc

Should I ever have a boy he will be raised to believe this too.

MrsJay there isnt anything wrong as part of a gamut of toys available. its when society tells them its the only thing they should like that its an issue. its limiting.

I dont think there is anything wrong in girls liking barbie or pink either 1 of my Dds likes Disney princesses unicorns and super heroes girls who like ribbons and bows are no less a person because of it.

I find it a bit sad that feminists are disappointed to be having girls, even if it's for 'valid' reasons I would have been thrilled with either sex but when DD was placed on my chest and I looked between her little legs ( I didn't find out what I was having) it felt so right that she was a girl. I love being a woman. I'm happy for DD that she gets to be one too!

Most of my mum friends have baby girls too and our worry about the teenage years and porn culture in particular is very real. But I can't see my worry being any less with a boy tbh, just different. The world is a tough place for girls and boys today, I think.

Also the clothes for girls are so much more fun

Or loudly strong, both are great!

My dd is 11 today and everyday since she has been born I've fought every prejudice going, she had cars as well as dolls, she wore blue and pink and a rainbow of other colours. She now wants to be an engineer , is fantastic at maths and great at martial arts, we discuss the suffragettes and women held back in other countries and why it isn't on. My dh would never read the sun anyway but we avoid anything that objectifies women. My son, he wears jewellery and nail varnish if he wants, he knows he can be whatever he wants and knows there are no differences in this family, of course at some point there is going to be issues to encounter but with a strong base they will be quietly strong and I hope at times vocal when needed. The fact that you are thinking about it means times are changing , even if it just starts at home. Congratulations!

If you have a daughter, you can get really involved in the vagina/vulva/minnie/front bottom/foo-foo name debate

There is nothing innately wring with liking Barbie and pink, it is only considered inferior because it is something girls like, which sucks. There is no innate superiority to preferring dinosaurs to princesses, only the value the world attaches to it. I'm not going to stop my girls playing with toys that are only considered inferior because they are associated with girls. My girls could be as pink, Barbie and princessy as they damn well pleased.

Agree 100%

There was a thread here a while back asking if you would have preferred to have be born male. It was almost unanimous in its decision that most women preferred being female I certainly do. That certainly makes me think it cannot all be bad

should read "not" to see.

When I was pregnant there were no scans to tell the sex of the baby. I'm glad. I would urge mums not to find out the sex before birth. If you don't know then all you can visualise is a baby and you start with a clean sheet and see how your baby develops. If you know months in advance it must be almost impossible to see a small girl or boy and stereotypes can creep so easily into the mind.

I have two daughters, and I have the same fears as you, especially after reading #WhenIwas on twitter yesterday.

I'm trying to raise my girls to know that being a boy or a girl shouldn't limit what you like or do, and that you don't have to do certain things (cuddle, play games etc) if you don't want to. But sometimes I feel frustrated that their experiences in this world depend on other people bringing up their boys to understand these things too, and that I could have had a more direct (small) effect on society if I had had boys to influence.

They are brilliant in general though.

The reason I don't particularly like Barbies, princesses and pink clothing is because it is dictated to girls from their environment what they should play with and what colour they should wear in a way that is inherently sexist. The grown up version is feeling that you have to wear makeup, remove body hair and look after your man. All these things are "choices" so therefore cannot be criticised but such choices are entrenched in quite restrictive ideas that are dictated from society about what it should mean to be female. Not saying that dinosaurs and blue are superior to princesses and pink, but just kind of wishing that my girls had not gone gung ho for the gendered toys.

Everything! My 2 DD's love princesses, pink and dressing up.... But they are equally (if not more) happy to play Star Wars, kick a ball, look for bugs or anything 'boys' stereotypically do.

My oldest DD wants to be a surgeon, or a singer, but sometimes Han Solo on weekends

Congratulations

Agree with above post. There is no point in saying girls are every bit as good as boys if you then undermine them in that way.

Congratulations OP. Don't set her up to fail before she is even born. Be positive.

I have to say by ds (15) is a total sweetie and completely feminist. He really hates sexism and any other prejudice, he tries not to go with the crowd unless he's thought it through. He's very compassionate as well. I hope he can thrive in a world that seems to need boys to be so hard and defended.

I regret to say that 2 out of the 3 have loved Barbies, princesses and pink clothing at various stages.

Why regret this? There is nothing innately wring with liking Barbie and pink, it is only considered inferior because it is something girls like, which sucks. There is no innate superiority to preferring dinosaurs to princesses, only the value the world attaches to it. I'm not going to stop my girls playing with toys that are only considered inferior because they are associated with girls. My girls could be as pink, Barbie and princessy as they damn well pleased.

Seems to have worked OK with the first one - she is studying engineering

If you want a really cheery thought-

You are less likely to be murdered by your dd than by your ds.

At least she won't become a misogynistic teenage boy who's all 'what about the menz'.

I always wanted both sexes. Now I wish I'd just had girls.

"every little girl that grows up into a stereotype-smashing, inequality-killing woman is a huge win for feminism."

Love this!

They turn into glorious creatures like this.

I have 3 daughters. I regret to say that 2 out of the 3 have loved Barbies, princesses and pink clothing at various stages. But don't worry, all is not lost. It is generally just a phase and in no way is predictive of a restrictive gender-stereotyped future. My eldest (now 15) is very informed about feminism and takes an interest in critical thinking, politics and philosophy. We attended a talk by Germaine Greer together and she is aware of trans-critical feminist arguments.

Your own behaviour and attitude will give your DD messages about the world and that will be a big factor in how your she grows up and the beliefs and values she develops. Of course society has an influence too, but don't fret. Just keep being who you are. Your influence is massive.

I felt similar to you when I found out my little one was going to be a girl. The thing that made it OK for me was thinking through the women in my life who will be influential for her & how incredible, strong, vibrant & varied they are. I can't wait to see what opportunities present themselves to her & I'm genuinely excited by what her life might have in store.