Tell me lovely things about having a baby girl

Congrats manatee!

Loads of cool thing about having a little girl. Not least the living disconfirmation of all the stuff about how little girls are one way and boys are another.

I love seeing her race around in clothes that are built for moving, not for being looked at. I love watching her fascination with ants and beetles in the garden. I love seeing her draw, play with dolls, push her trains and trucks around, copy me doing my makeup. I love seeing her turn into a person.

I love getting the chance to be the mum I want to be. A parent who is at least conscious of stereotypes and excited about raising a strong and brave girl.

Hopefully later I'll see her turn into a person with healthy relationships and a sense of her own worth, so the world's sexism can roll right off her back.

You'll love it too.

Congratulations OTheHugeManatee

Having one of each, I have to say the main advantage of the girl has been the lack of plumbing to spray my face during nappy change

Otherwise, a child grows up as you raise her, according to what she sees around her. DD doesn't care about what she wears, reads encyclopedias and wants to be a physicist. I have never limited her actions or prospects because of her sex and she has developed accordingly, bright and free.

Now that she is nearly as tall as me despite not yet a teenager, I expect her to start getting unwelcome, confusing, and even scary attention from men like we all did, but there isn't much I can do to protect her from it. She will have to grow her inner (and outer) defenses accordingly, like we all did.

I love having girls. I have 2dds, dd1 is 16 and blossoming into a capable adult, she's about to do her GCSEs where she should do very well, and is planning a career as a particle physicist. She's been through the pink fluffy princess stage and came out the other side even more interested in science, maths and music. She wears dresses, skirts and jeans, whichever she prefers that day, and wears make up whenever she can be bothered (when she's got spots). Shes quiet and introverted, but has a good group of friends. She knows who she is and is confident that she'll get where she wants to go, I have no reason to doubt her (other than her massive shyness, but dh is just as shy so it's genetic rather than because she's a girl)

Dd2 is 6. She's in the middle of the my little pony phase, which is fab the first time of watching them because the little ponies take on anything and win. She's currently got dinosaurs eating the little ponies, so has eclectic taste in toys and a vivid imagination. She is the fastest scooter in her class ( the teacher timed them for a challenge a couple of weeks ago), and a super fast runner too. She's a sensitive soul, and I worry about peer pressure , but I've seen a stubborn streak recently when she's been playing with her friends so I'm feeling happier that she won't always be such a pushover.

I also teach teenagers, and while there are challenges, I think the girls are better at spotting sexism and calling it out than we were when I was at school.

I think girls are amazing- you'll have lots of fun and love with your DD, look forward to it!

I have two daughters and a son, my eldest who is ten loves:

Science
Maths
Drawing
Paperchase
Football
Sewing
Baking
Reading
Swimming
Is in a girls school that has the strap line ... Inspiring young women... They believe in girls valuing who they are and not conforming to stereotypes
Loves puppies
Wears tomboyish clothes but is desperate for a bra
Believes she can be whatever she wants to be

DD is a stroppy feisty 2yo who plays dollies and football pretty much equally, often with her big brother.

When I found out she was a girl at 20 weeks I was terrified, as I didn't know how on earth I was going to spare her all the crap I dealt with while growing up.

But it's working out OK so far

When we're all retired and sitting at home waiting for a call from the kids, that call is likely to come more often if you have a girl

Bit of a sweeping generalisation.

And would it not be a failure of your own parenting if your daughters are brought up to think they have ongoing caring responsibility but your sons haven't?

When we're all retired and sitting at home waiting for a call from the kids, that call is likely to come more often if you have a girl.

Well ... My DH calls his mum at least once a week for an hour's chat, but I'd never call mine because we don't have a great relationship. I reckon it's partly about how you train kids and also about the quality of your relationships with them, more than which gender they are.

OP, I get why you'd worry .. But there are just so many things you could panic about when having a baby. Wars, diseases, poverty, food shortages, power shortages, tsunamis, global warming, solar flares destroying all electricity, you dying and leaving them early on - on and on, you name it you could worry about it. I sometimes wonder if we should even be trying to have a child ourselves given what a doom and gloom outlook there can be.

But every generation has had those terrors, every generation has known their children were born into a world which prescribed them certain roles in society, and every generation watched as those roles changed beyond belief. All you can ever do is raise your child with love, and help equip them with the skills and self-confidence to know who they are and be kind to others too.

And yes, women (and other marginalised groups) still have big problems - but if you look at the last 50 years we've come further than ever before. This may well be a time of some complacency before another social movement starts pushing forward, but it doesn't mean we're backtracking to the stone ages.

Cadno: just on a point of scientific interest. There is accumulating evidence (though not yet definitive) that paternal mitochondria can be passed on through 'leakage'. The research on this is quite interesting.

wah drip drip drip feed sorry... IMO making a new female and protecting her rights as a human is a feminist act. I mean we take that for granted, but lots of girls don't have that advantage.

Back pats all round

MrsTerryPratchett Oh My Little Pony. I'm so glad it's back AND MATRIARCHAL.

But they should bring back SHE RA, just because.

...My mum wouldn't let me have a Girl's World - she said because of feminism. Turned out it was because she found them incredibly creepy! It's a disembodied head ffs. Saw right through it as she bought me a ballet Sindy instead, so duh.

(Goes without saying "littlies" applies to babies of both genders! I am not infantalising baby girls... especially as that would be impossible as they're already infants).

Gendered clothes? Just walk around the WHOLE of the kids department and buy some 'girl' and some 'boy' and mix it all up. That's what I do.

I work with teenager girls and very few of them will put up with an ounce of shit off anyone. The media and politics (especially in America) can push and push and try to get them to ... but my gut instinct is that a reckoning will come. Paving the way for the littlies of today.

OP you sound as if you're intending to bring up your little girl in Saudi Arabia? I don't wish to be rude, but I think you might be dwelling on the negative a bit too much here. I've 2 DD's, eldset has done extremely well in school, now at Uni. The younger, doing very well too and planning on being a 'flying' doctor...

I also feel we are letting ourselves down as feminists if being female/having a girl is something negative or disappointing

I agree. The thread isn't really saying that but more that some women feel anxious about having a daughter because life will be so hard for a daughter. Although I do think starting from an attitude of telling your daughter life will be so hard is terribly negative.

I wanted a daughter. Friends who were pregnant at the time wanted daughters. I have a son and actually had women asking if I was disappointed.

My girl is wonderful. Not because or in spite of being a girl, but because she is her. She's funny, clever, artistic, kind... I could go on. She love stereotyped girl things.. Princesses, sparkles, babies, but also so called boy things such as astronomy, knights and Star Wars. Raising her to be confident in who she is is an important job. I also feel we are letting ourselves down as feminists if being female/having a girl is something negative or disappointing.

Lass Genetically speaking, the only ones you'd definitely be losing in not having a daughter would be those genes in the mitochondria which 'live' in each of our cells - and which are only inherited along the maternal line - and those mitochondrial genes aren't thought to contribute to bodily characteristics, as it were.

Your son has inherited your mitochondria - but he won't pass them on to any of his children.

A little girl carries your maternal line forward. She is the forward link in the chain of you, your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother... and so on to the beginning of life

An interesting thought. I've effectively killed one by having only a son.

There is nothing innately wring with liking Barbie and pink, it is only considered inferior because it is something girls like, which sucks. There is no innate superiority to preferring dinosaurs to princesses, only the value the world attaches to it. I'm not going to stop my girls playing with toys that are only considered inferior because they are associated with girls. My girls could be as pink, Barbie and princessy as they damn well pleased. Tried to explain this to my old-school feminist mother recently. Failed.

Best thing is that at some point she might like the Feminist Matriarchal Cooperative of Hippotypal Species AKA My Little Pony. Without DD I would have dismissed this band of sisters, this ruling class of pony women as a bit silly. I have been schooled.

Also DD is the greatest living child. Huge coincidence that I got her but there you go.

A little girl carries your maternal line forward. She is the forward link in the chain of you, your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother... and so on to the beginning of life.

I agree with enchantedfairytale and love Lumpylumpy's post.

I understand your concerns. There will be inequalities to face. I don't think facing up to that is setting her up to fail and I don't think pretending those inequalities aren't there will help either.

I have a six year old girl. She is awesome. Strong minded, articulate, sweet, funny but totally feisty and kick ass!
Girls are awesome. And then they become women. And we are all amazing. True fact!

I worried about these things when pregnant (didn't know the sex) and will again I'm sure (she's a she). In fact i could have written your post. But for now my little 3 week old daughter is snuggled in beside me asleep and dreaming and the worries are on the shelf. I know it's really important to think about her future but do let yourself get sucked into enjoy the present of being pregnant (hope all going well with you) and when she has arrived but too tiny to know or care about anything except feeding, sleeping and cuddling up to you.

I have an 18 month old girl, and when I found out she was a girl, I have to admit it also crossed my mind, but after she was born, this has completely turned around. I'm so glad I have a girl and it has helped me be stronger myself; sometimes when I think of being weak over something, I remind myself I have to be a role model
For my daughter, I think, what kind of ideas about what women can do and can't do, do I want her to have?

Yes, women often get a rougher deal than men, but I wouldn't trade with them If I could! Men have to live up to all the macho bs, rarely get to spend as much time with their kids as the women, and have to pretend they like football. They never get to experience the miracle of carrying a baby inside them. Also, there's so much joy to be found in fighting alongside other women. It's up to you how you bring your girl up. You don't have to put her in dresses that means she can't climb and play as freely as the boys, and you don't have to call her princess or angel (please promise me you won't, call her something nice and strong). And finally, from a purely selfish standpoint, I am so glad to have a girl, because they are generally kinder to their parents and I know she's more likely to stay in touch with me when she grows up than a boy. When we're all retired and sitting at home waiting for a call from the kids, that call is likely to come more often if you have a girl. That may be because of gender stereotypic upbringing that teaches girls to be more considerate and family oriented, yes, but as long as the world is this way, it's one advantage we mums of girls have. Finally, grandchildren are often closer to maternal grandmothers than paternal grandparents, again because women tend to spend more time with their parents than men (also my mum has this slightly mad theory that it's because the eggs that produce your kids are there from you're a fetus, so in a beautiful way part of your children are created by their grandmothers in a very direct way, but I think is just her way to feel closer to her grandchildren ) congratulations on your girl!

You need to protect your baby from plastic tits? Wow. There really is far worse things going on in the world than people having plastic surgery.

meddle you are right i do think its up to mothers to lay the foundations so our daughters find a balance though.