AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

Sounds like you are suggesting dividing a family over this decision, prioritising a second home over family relationships, I think the op might just go for it. Nothing they're said suggests otherwise.

That’s ok, I underhand, you struggle with someone disagreeing with you. Why don’t you follow the rules and report me for being a troll - let MN HQ help you out.

YANBU to feel sad about the prospect of the family holiday home being sold. You have told mumsnet how sentimentally and historically attached you and all your immediate family are to the house and its deep meanings for you. It sounds idyllic, no wonder you all feel so upset. Most people would.

As you, and presumably your parents, believe your father will not last more than two years or so, has your (considerably younger and with many potential years ahead) mother not considered the possibility that she will still want to go to their holiday home after his death? It would possibly not be as regularly as it had been when travelling with her husband. She'd be alone. But if that does not appeal to her, she could continue to travel with the rest of the family (ie you, children, your brother) in the way she's enjoyed for so long. She'd retain the memories of times with her husband, retain continuity. Is this too delicate a prospect for your parents to discuss? Losing her husband and severing this precious link with the family's collective history are both emotionally momentous events. Keeps the house on could be a huge comfort for all of you. Yourself and brother managing it to take off the strain.

That wasn’t my point. My point was I have been in her shoes and didn’t react so strongly, didn't pester my parents for years, didn't only have holidays in that house, didn't sob and be so upset.

Being stoic is also being reasonable and practical which I don’t think the OP was/is.

We offered because we weren’t sure if that is what our parents wanted us to do - keep the house but not have them be responsible. They didn’t and we left it.

I don’t agree with her reaction or her persistent guilting of her parents about the house.

I don’t agree that a house has sentimentality. The memories did.

I totally see where you're coming from, but they have been discussing it and thinking about it for two years, so it's doesn't seem like a rash decision. If op's mom was posting here, you'd see her side of things. It sounds like the house will become a source of stress for her, and whether that will change is hard to say.

Logistically, it would be really hard to manage. Your parents went out every month. Still a few weeks of being empty which isn’t ideal, but if you would be going out quarterly you’d need a caretaker of some sort in between - ideally living on site but certainly checking regularly. It will be such a lot of work and an awful lot of expense to keep this going. I can see why your parents are done with this - you can’t really volunteer to take on everything as you can’t afford it.

As you, and presumably your parents, believe your father will not last more than two years or so, has your (considerably younger and with many potential years ahead) mother not considered the possibility that she will still want to go to their holiday home after his death?

Why do people keep asking this? Nothing the op has posted suggests that her mother is stupid. I’d imagine that actually yes, her mother who is facing caring for her seriously ill husband and losing him has given a lot of thought to what her life will look like after his death and what she will want it to be. It would be extraordinary if she hadn’t done so.

I own a holiday home abroad. It’s a big commitment in terms of maintenance, bills, fees and taxes. We have to do tax returns and it costs us many thousands a year just to have it sat empty most of the time. Of course they will want to sell it if they don’t use it. If you want to keep it you will have to come to some sort of an agreement with them over sale / transfer of ownership to you. You will then be responsible for perhaps £15,000 - £30,000 a year in fees and costs though. It’s not the free holiday you think it is sadly. Ask them to show you the costs and work out if you could afford to take it over even if they sold it to you on favourable terms. You may have to use your four times a year flight money to pay for one holiday.

PS make sure your parents are getting good financial advice as they will be libel to capital gains if they sell the property. It is you and your brother who would be libel for capital gains if they gave it to you.

That's a really good point

It's only a free holiday for you @Hophaphop , because someone else is paying for the property to be there for you to use. You and your brother are offering to do the work, but the tax (if it's transferred to you) plus the annual upkeep will make this a very expensive holiday

Would it be possible that your parents gift you both the property and you and your brother pay the Capital gains back to them in instalments that you could finance renting it out when you are not there. It’s a different option but you would still keep the use of it yourselves and your parents would only be out of pocket for a shorter period of time?

OP has already answered this.

No, of course not! They came to that decision themselves, because they had no other specific use for the money and didn't see the point in it sitting in a bank account. But I'm surprised the OP's DPs haven't made that decision themselves, since the OP says that the money will just sit in a bank account. Okay, so she can't ask, but it seems a real shame.

I’m guessing we don’t know the whole story - the op has drip fed a bit - I wonder what else she’s holding back and what else she doesn’t know. I think it’s not unusual for parent’s full financial picture to be kept private from their adult children.

Usual I’d say. Care home funding permitting, ours will be pleasantly surprised when we kick the bucket.

I thought OP said she couldn’t afford to pay the capital gains herself right now as a lump sum, which I totally get, so my post was a suggestion of how she might pay it back out of future income, with her parents agreement of course, then the holiday home might become self financing after that with rental income covering costs. Apologies if she already covered this scenario , I must have missed it.

You have had free/low cost holidays for 30 years which many reading your post would kill for.
Stop being so entitled and spoilt, it belongs to your parents,its up to them what they do,stop grizzling that you may have to actual pay for hols like us peasants!

As I already mentioned OP is hardly on the poverty line, many people are lucky to get one week in bognor let alone 3/4weeks abroad!!
Perhaps it would be nice to think of others less fortunate than yourself in the future?

Probably for a year by the sounds of it.

Aw never mind. Time to sit on a freezing beach in the UK for a week in November. Thats all many of us have ever been able to afford.
Ask though not for much,for fear though losest all.

Am glad someone is finally saying that. I have never been abroad. Or even Scotland. Or Ireland. Went to Wales once but it rains there too so self catering for a week in Devon it is. Again. In the rain.

Why not ask if you and your brother could buy it off them. Another alternative could be for them to gift it to you and your brother if they don’t need the money. This could be your joint inheritance.

'Pay their dues'? Parents don't owe their children anything!

No indeed. I meant paying the taxes due. However as I misunderstood and thought the parents were doing it to avoid tax (and have been since corrected) my comment is moot anyway.
But yes, I agree with you.