What time would you leave a family BBQ with primary-aged children?

Probably until the end of the bbq I’ve got a 4&8 year old. If the youngest is cranky maybe 9/10 but wouldn’t set a specific time and go with the flow if we didn’t have early plans the next day

Your OP didn’t make it clear that the children belonged to the hosts, not the guests.

If you really do need to get the children to bed, just say loudly "Ten more minutes, kids, then it will be your bedtime." That should give your guests the hint to leave. But since it’s a weekend and holiday time, if the children aren't grumpy and overtired I’d let them stay up later than usual. A lot depends on the children’s ages - 5 and 7 is very different from 9 and 11.

Probably around 8ish with an infant school age child, 9ish if they were junior school age.

EDIT: just read your follow up post. I initially read it as large family event at someone else’s
house that would be continuing later than we were staying.

If my hosts wanted me to leave so they could tidy up and do bedtime or because they had plans the next day, I’d expect them to have specified a time when they invited me. I wouldn’t necessarily think their kids going to bed was a hint to leave, as when people visit me I’m happy for them to stay while I do that.

If ur the host give them a start and end time like a party, if ur not then just ask them when it’s convenient to stay til. People aren’t mind readers.

Probably about 8:30/9, but I’d totally understand if a host started dropping hints to leave earlier. I’ve also never been to a bbq where we haven’t all helped in the cleaning efforts to ensure the host isn’t left with a mess!

Mine are younger, but I've gone and put them to bed before and then rejoined my guests and continued the fun!

If you think they are going to outstay their welcome, set an end time in advance. Eg ‘come at 3 so we can spend time with you. We’ll eat at 5 and then finish up by 7/&/whatever so we can get the kids to bed and cleared up as we have a busy day on Sunday’

As a guest - When the hosts start looking tired/clearing up or mine are acting up/overtired (not so relevant now as both old enough to stay up later and are no trouble if having a good time,doesn't 'ruin' bed time). Or if in doubt,would just ask!

As a host - Would never ask anyone to leave. I would def continue to get my kids to bed if things overran and was really late,but wouldn't do any pointed sighing or stares.I'd just come back and enjoy after. Anyone with kids, there is always somewhere for them 2 doze so parents can chill too. For my family and close friends, if I was knackered/didn't feel well etc.I would just say 'sorry,am off now' and leave them to enjoy (unless I am entertaining solo!)

“Well it’s been so lovely having you over but we need to start clearing up and getting the kids to bed now”…

There are so many ways to tell people to bugger off home.

@Jetsun3456 are you the host or the guest?

I’d leave at 7pm

I consider the host yes but I consider them to make it obvious or at least give strong hints they want me to go.

Some people leave tidying for the next day and are glad of the company.
Some people want everyone gone to tidy up.

If its a 'when the guests leave' then im assuming ill leave when me and the kids are ready to - or im given a strong hint. A yawn from the host, they syart tidying away or frankly tell me to go home!!

But to answer your question im usually gone by about 8/9pm with my DS as thats when he starts running out of steam and wants his own toys and bed

If you are the host - just put the kids to bed when they are tired. It doesn't matter for one night if they are up later than 10pm and ok. Otherwise your guests stay and wait for you to come down. Guessing 20 mins max - don't worry about baths etc just PJs on and bed.

Then continue with your guests 🙂

7.30pm

I agree.

Just play it by ear.

Kids are on school holidays now anyway.

This.

If it's not a school night and we didn't have big plans the following day, I'd be pretty flexible about it.

If my hosts wanted us to leave by a certain time, I'd expect them to tell me - either before, or when we were there. No mention of an end time means it's open.

I'd be helping clear up once we'd finished eating. If they wanted to get kids to bed at the normal time I'd rave when they started doing that, but I'd appreciate a heads up.

When I've had similar events, I've said "it won't be a late one though, big day for the kids on Sunday" or such.

Ask the host what time they want you out by. If they do that neurotypical "polite" preference falsification thing where they claim not to mind, you can follow up with "you will want to bathe your children prior to bedtime, surely you don't want guests around for that?"

I’d leave by 7ish but run of steam early

9pm latest. I can handle a 10pm bedtime during holidays for my kids but I’m not having them up til
Midnight or the next day will be absolute murder

I'd make sure the kids were entertained, act accordingly, enjoy yourselves and leave when you need to or if you're hosts start winding down.

No clue what time I’d leave just when the vibe was right to leave- probs be having a drink and a laugh kids stay up later… my friends are relaxed people leave when they leave it’s a mutual fun night not organised fun…

Yes this, things happen when they happen kids have a late night life moves on

9ish maybe if no school the next day

Probably about 9.