What time would you leave a family BBQ with primary-aged children?

I'd think it was odd if the hosts put their kids to bed at their normal time. It's the summer holidays. Live a little.

Well if hosts want guests gone by say 6pm then surely they wouldn't start the BBQ so late. I'd assume about 8pm, but that's with an infant school child.

It's a weekend in the summer holidays. If you're all having a nice time at an event, bedtimes are null and void.
There's also a big difference between 5 yr olds and 11 yr olds.
As long as the adults were having a nice time, I'd stay until the kids started being tired. Could be 8pm, could be 11pm. Depends on the kids.

I wouldn't really think about the host having to tidy up or put their kids to bed because, if have been helping with the tidying/washing up/putting away so they didn't have too much left to do. And they'd be putting their kids to bed at the same time as mine so, no issue there either.

Um. The question you asked was aimed as if you were a guest. Ergo, people gave responded as if they were a guest. Like you asked for.

10 at the latest maybe earlier if the kids are tired

OP, if you're wondering what time, as a rough average, you should expect the children to start showing signs of overtiredness and people to start taking steps to move, I'd think 8.30-9 ish for infant age, and 9.30-10ish for junior age.

It sounds like you are the host and you wanted everyone gone. But with my family and locally, about 10pn latest. Including mine and siblings primary aged kids.

If your guests still there, you start putting your own kids in the bath and getting them ready for bed. The guests will take the hint.

How rude to start putting your own kids in the bath 😂What's wrong with people???

You're a grown up, you can literally just talk to your friends.

8ish? Later if all going ok and kids happy. We used to change ours into PJs before the car ride home when they were that age

Generally you get a feel for these things, if all the kids are happy and the adults are enjoying themselves there isn’t a set time, if the host couple start clearing up that’s your cue to offer to help clear up and when they most likely say no you make your exit

You need to specify an end time if you’re that bothered

It's not rude at all. The other parent can keep chit chatting as they finish their beers or whatever. It makes for a soft deadline rather than a forced one.

Incredibly passive aggressive and rude, do you really treat your own friends like that?

Why not just say, hey Lisa, I want to get the kids in bed by 9 so we'll have to call it a night soon.
Rather than taking the kids off to the bath in the hope you supposed friends will feel uncomfortable and leave!

Wow why are you so enraged? Of course I wouldn't do it wordlessly, I'd just say you guys feel free to have another drink while I get the kids in the bath. That's less rude than telling guests to leave, which where I'm from is practically breaking the law.

But each to their own, I have no idea why my way makes you angry...!

If you want them out by a certain time then tell them that beforehand.

everyone is different so you can never assume anything

It does seem passive aggressive.

I'd go when the kids were getting tired/obnoxious.

I think you’re the host and wanted people to bugger off early? If I was a guest it would depend on the age of my kids. Primary age could be 4 or 11! If they were 11 years old I might stay till 11pm or midnight

We’ve stayed at friends houses with primary school aged kids until 11pm during the summer holidays.

But equally if the host said needs to be done by 8pm that would be cool too.

Are you hosting @Jetsun3456 ?

Depends how much fun we’re all having. You can usually tell when the night is ending.
If you’re the host and want people to leave, it’s your responsibility to communicate that.

I'm not angry but I do think passive aggressive types are the worst 😂

until the kids were grumpy and tired really which would be 7/8pm

Normally 8, 9pm if we were all having a fab time and it was the summer hols!

I don’t think I have ever cared what time people leave if it’s on a Friday or Saturday. I would just get the kids to bed if needed and leave them for a bit. I remember my mates reading stories to DS and then us resuming.

Well I guess my friends know me, and know that I'm not being any kind of aggressive. If I told people they had to leave, though, they'd be shocked.

The more I think of it, absolutely no one in my circle ever tells any guests to leave. I think it's a mumsnet head tilt thing that just doesn't happen in real life, or at least not among my friends and extended family.

People start loading the dishwasher etc rather than telling you to leave, in my world.