Topics of conversation to get through boring evening with DHs colleagues wives

I think both those women sound interesting.
But why talk about work?

Read anything good recently?
Have you seen The Odyssey? What do you think?
Going anywhere on holiday?
How is the garden doing in this hot weather?
I love your dress/ shoes/ bag. Where did you get it?

I am menopausal too but can still make small talk.

Surely you can talk about universal topics - holidays, books, films etc ?. Or even some of the bigger issues such as climate change- the gardening lady must have some views on that - or politics if you are feeling brave.

My adult daughter sometimes says that one of the most useful things I ever taught her was the art of social conversation in very simple terms. Almost everyone likes talking about themselves. If they have interesting things to say, it becomes an interesting conversation. If they don't, it become entertaining seeing just how long they can carry on discussing their own thoughts and interests without changing the subject. So I'd start by asking them about themselves using the information provided. You could also combine their interests by asking how gardening has changed over the years, for example. I think that almost anything can be interesting for a short time. How does dressing up woman source her clothes? How historically accurate does she choose to be and what bits does she not try to be authentic over? Etc. I'd happily talk to her!

I think you have a mindset problem OP. I also work in AI and would be happy to chat to anyone, there is always common ground. Are they nasty? Or complete monologgers? If not then just try remind yourself that they will have plenty of value as dinner companions if you could be bothered to look.

Isn’t the point of it, learning about things you don’t know? Why would you talk about stuff you all know already? Aren’t there any cross over points? I saw an AI designed garden recently.

People are interesting. Understanding why they like different things is part of it.

where do you go on Holiday- beach and resort for total relaxation, history/culture for mental stimulation, activities or theme park for excitement?

Where to eat out

Any new leisure activities in your area

Or if you want real excitement a discussion on the eco sustainability of AI, and the job desolation coming for some.

Why go? It’s your DH’s job, not yours.

But you’ve met these people before, right? So it’s not like you’re the Queen chirping ‘Have you come far?’ and ‘What do you do?

I’m not sure I understand the ‘left with the wives’ thing. Are you saying your DH and his colleagues physically go somewhere else? If not, talk to the men, or just have a general conversation with everyone?

Or this, if you really dislike them. There’s nothing stopping your DH socialising with his colleagues all the time! No bored women need to be in attendance!

I would similarly exasperated if I went for dinner and all my companion was interested in discussing was AI.
Thry both sound like they have hobbies they can tell you about, so while you may not find it thrilling you could at least think in advance of some good questions?

It wouldn't occur to me to mentally list the interests of upcoming dinner guests and attempt to map them to potential conversational topics. Unless these women are actively unpleasant or difficult, then I honestly cannot understand why you are foreseeing such difficultly. I can easily talk to someone for a few hours without needing anything explicitly in common with them, and I wouldn't consider myself especially socially skilled.

I also work in AI but a) don't consider it my identity and b) would be perfectly happy to learn more about gardening or period house renovations. Both sound like rich topics of discussion to me.

Is dressing up historical dressing? I love history and would have many questions.
AI is a fascinating topic. But controversial and alarming. So I would stay off that.

I can talk to literally anyone, if I want to and that’s the rub. From a Bishop to a homeless person from a staunch Tory to a furry. Done all that. Do you think that deep down there is a resentment because you don’t want to be there? that sort of desiccates and dries up the mind as it’s unwilling?

I will be attending something I don’t want to go to soon, it’s DH sisters party. I will feel like an animal trapped in a poachers trap that would rather gnaw its own leg off. But I will endure and do it by being an utter delight. Though deep down I am a boiling mass of hate and resentment.

This is easy it’s just a bit of a tedious night, I can have a conversation but if I find it dull my head can be somewhere else as well. Try that ?

Music is always a good one - you can find surprise things in common. Mention something you have listened to recently and ask them what they like.

Getting people onto moaning about daily life is usually a deep conversational seam to mine! The demise of the high street, difficulty getting medical appointments, public transport horror stories, the perils of online shopping, parking etc. Find something good to moan about and people will quickly join in with their own moans!

Family history. What you would do with a lottery win. Lurid gossip if you're desperate!

If you are all local, how the shops/roads have changed. For example we still refer to "near where Mothercare used to be" Trip down memory lane!

Is it that they aren't good conversationalists?

Is it a case of
You; "oh, I saw an advert for Croatia the other day, looks fabulous. Have either of you ever been?"
Them; "No."
You; " .... Well.... I'm thinking of going somewhere like that, perhaps in September.... Where would you recommend? Have you been anywhere nice recently?"
Them " not really."
You; "...... Okay."

And them not talking about anything?

... still doesn't really explain why you have to go...?

Couldn't you just leave him to go on his own?

From your examples I think it sounds like great conversation potential and I would like to come!
PP's idea of "how is the garden doing in this hot weather?" is a really good one (nice open question). The other person may have implemented a dry garden strategy already or considering it eg Beth Chatto gravel garden. They may be shading their plants etc. They may have armache from carrying buckets from the hosepipe ban.

50s-70s reno person. "If I wanted to put just a touch of retro in my house (even if you don't), what should I do?" or "with all your knowledge of what was current, what are the best design elements from that period that have stood the test of time". Dressing up - similar. You could ask her about companies selling faux retro clothes and which ones she likes. Retro glasses styles is a good one.
On AI. If I was going I would LOVE to quiz you on AI because you would be a real person in my circle who was actually involved rather than the tech bros and their twatty overclaiming or alarmist media stories. If you don't want to talk about it because you find people are hostile to it - well that's right, they are, because they are fearful it's going to upend everything they've worked for. You could set yourself a secret task - to see if you can inject some common sense understanding with a bit of nuance that they can go away with. How to approach this in conversation. Well you can't just say "I work in AI, AMA" (although that would be great on here!). But if someone asks you about your work, or mentions AI, you can segue the conversation around to it.

Do the others not start topics of conversation? Also use of AI by ordinary folk has exploded and although it sounds you can’t be bothered the gardener lady probably tries it and the design lady … can’t you ask if they’ve used it for their interests? I know you say you don’t talk of your work but it’s everywhere and quite a general topic of conversation day to day so can be lumped into small talk.

I usually find discussion about how difficult/fulfilling marriage is in later life is a good one.

An outside the box idea, but could some kind of game work? Trivial Pursuit or something like that?