AIBU

Personally I'd go to the wedding, your 4 year old will probably love it. Then celebrate her birthday the next weekend!

Celebrate your daughter’s birthday on the Monday then she can do any weekend celebrating the following weekend (assuming you’re thinking things like grandparents visiting). She’ll enjoy it more as it’s something to look forward to after the main event.

Or on the Sunday. @TeacherMumLife find somewhere great to take her in the morning, as her birthday treat, before you head home. Then have family over on Monday after school for presents and cake.

The weekend away is two birds, one stone!

Go to the wedding and take her to some of the lovely tourist places in Derbyshire the next day, then celebrate with her friends the following weekend. I bet she will love to dress up in a special dress

Go to the wedding and celebrate your daughter’s birthday another day. At age 4 she won’t have a clue.

YABU, what is a burthday weekend? She's 4, don't raise her to think the whole world revolves around her.

She's 4. She won't care. Go to the wedding and have a small celebration for her 4th another day.

lol, I’m answering to your question, YES!!! It seems cake can be seen as offensive. Sadly.

if I or anyone gave my Mum a cake it would come flying back followed by a heated argument!

She’s type 2 diabetic.

I’ve voted @TeacherMumLife but mainly because there was nothing in the title other than “AIBU” which makes it impossible to see beforehand if it’s worth clicking on.

Sure if want an excuse use it bit of you dont want to go just say no

I cant see any reason not to go though but we celebrate a birthday on a weekend day after a birthday if we chose too never before but she ia 4 how on earth will she know the difference

So, you'd drive there after work on Friday, arrive somewhat late, especially late with a small child, let's say you stop half way for dinner, so you likely arrive by midnight. Wedding Saturday, hopefully you'll all have had decent sleep, evening party and you'll want to be on the road back home Sunday by noon, so you'll leave after check- out, brunch, stop for tea half way, home around 6pm. Yeah, I think it's a bit much. It would be for me with a young child. It could be fun, celebrate the birthday the next weekend instead, which would be fine, but I don't think I'd want that drive ... in January??? If the weather is bad the drive takes longer. ... pass.

(glad I worked through that! 😂)

i wouldn’t be making a 2 night trip for the wedding of people I wasn’t close to and only saw once a year anyway. I would politely decline the invite and wish them well. Child’s birthday not relevant tbh.

Sounds like you're just using the birthday as an excuse for not going

What? How is that relevant to the question?

If you don't want to go then don't but I would think of a different excuse as 'birthday weekends' aren't even a thing as far as I'm aware!

I’d go to the wedding and do her party the week before/agter . And do cake /pressies on the day

it’s a birthDAY

Yep I know a woman who got upset that her parents had booked a holiday "That's my birthday week " she was 33. They were going on Friday, her birthday was the Monday before.

How is this even a question? You're on the doorstep of The Peak District, I'm sure your daughter will enjoy any one of the lovely places there are to visit.

Personally I’d go, and find somewhere fun for the Sunday

There is a thread about "Can cake be offensive?" (or something like that) and I can only assume that the PP meant to post there.

For the OP - go to the wedding (or don't, if you don't want to, but doing so because it is your daughter's birthday is a little much).

Wrong thread.

It sounds like you don’t want to go to the wedding anyway and are looking for an excuse to decline.

Your daughter is going to be four, and doesn’t actually have a clue what the date is, and the wedding isn’t actually on her birthday anyway. What difference does it make whether you do something with her the weekend before her birthday or the weekend after? She’s not going to know. A ‘birthday weekend’ isn’t an official designation.

If you don’t want to go to the wedding simply because you can’t be arsed, fine. You can decline. But thinking you can’t go just because it’s close to your child’s birthday is weird. Don’t be so wet!

Hmm, I wonder how many people are getting married in Alfreton in January?
And of those, how many have teacher friends who live in Cornwall?
With a daughter who has a January birthday weekend?

Anyway @TeacherMumLife do what you like, just let the bride know ASAP so she can invite someone else or adjust the numbers.

I would go. I find it utterly bizarre that you would even consider declining for a 4th birthday, since she is invited. You can schedule her party/birthday celebrations for the weekend after - whichever weekend you have it, it wasn’t going to be on her actual birthday.