AIBU

28 replies

user1638721329 · 18/07/2026 23:07

AIBU? Our friends are getting married on the Saturday and our daughter's birthday is the Monday. We are thinking about declining the wedding as it is her birthday weekend. She will be turning 4.

They aren't close friends, we see them once a year on average, but they're old friends. I'm a teacher and the wedding is in January, so I cannot take her birthday off work to spend it with her. The wedding is in Alfreton (we live in Cornwall!), so we'd have to stay away for two nights. She is invited, but we just aren't sure if that's how we should spend her birthday weekend. Surely it would be better to take her on a day out that we know she'd love and to arrange to see family?

OP posts:

piscesangel · 19/07/2026 09:38

If you don’t want to go to the wedding just turn it down - but please don’t say you’re doing it because it’s your daughter’s ’birthday weekend’, you’ll sound unhinged

calflions · 19/07/2026 09:43

Do you mean you would have to host a party of 20 4 year olds on the Sunday? In that case do it the following week.

On her actual birthday you'd be at home anyway as you're going to work - so you get up early, open presents, then the day goes on as normal, she goes to nursery or whoever looks after her usually, then at dinner time you have a cake.

What more is there to do? I don't really get why the weekend means you can't go to a wedding?

MermaidEyes · 19/07/2026 09:45

As someone who lives near Alfreton, I wouldn’t be travelling all the way down to Cornwall, in January, for the wedding of someone who I only see once a year. So I’d politely decline and do something for your daughter’s birthday instead. I imagine there will still be plenty of people going to the wedding and you won’t be the only ones declining.
(Also, yes the Peak District is lovely - but in January? I was there for a few days this January and roads were treacherous with snow and ice. You won’t necessarily get much sightseeing in)

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