AIBU

As someone who lives near Alfreton, I wouldn’t be travelling all the way down to Cornwall, in January, for the wedding of someone who I only see once a year. So I’d politely decline and do something for your daughter’s birthday instead. I imagine there will still be plenty of people going to the wedding and you won’t be the only ones declining.
(Also, yes the Peak District is lovely - but in January? I was there for a few days this January and roads were treacherous with snow and ice. You won’t necessarily get much sightseeing in)

Do you mean you would have to host a party of 20 4 year olds on the Sunday? In that case do it the following week.

On her actual birthday you'd be at home anyway as you're going to work - so you get up early, open presents, then the day goes on as normal, she goes to nursery or whoever looks after her usually, then at dinner time you have a cake.

What more is there to do? I don't really get why the weekend means you can't go to a wedding?

If you don’t want to go to the wedding just turn it down - but please don’t say you’re doing it because it’s your daughter’s ’birthday weekend’, you’ll sound unhinged

I would go. I find it utterly bizarre that you would even consider declining for a 4th birthday, since she is invited. You can schedule her party/birthday celebrations for the weekend after - whichever weekend you have it, it wasn’t going to be on her actual birthday.

Hmm, I wonder how many people are getting married in Alfreton in January?
And of those, how many have teacher friends who live in Cornwall?
With a daughter who has a January birthday weekend?

Anyway @TeacherMumLife do what you like, just let the bride know ASAP so she can invite someone else or adjust the numbers.

It sounds like you don’t want to go to the wedding anyway and are looking for an excuse to decline.

Your daughter is going to be four, and doesn’t actually have a clue what the date is, and the wedding isn’t actually on her birthday anyway. What difference does it make whether you do something with her the weekend before her birthday or the weekend after? She’s not going to know. A ‘birthday weekend’ isn’t an official designation.

If you don’t want to go to the wedding simply because you can’t be arsed, fine. You can decline. But thinking you can’t go just because it’s close to your child’s birthday is weird. Don’t be so wet!

Wrong thread.

There is a thread about "Can cake be offensive?" (or something like that) and I can only assume that the PP meant to post there.

For the OP - go to the wedding (or don't, if you don't want to, but doing so because it is your daughter's birthday is a little much).

Personally I’d go, and find somewhere fun for the Sunday

How is this even a question? You're on the doorstep of The Peak District, I'm sure your daughter will enjoy any one of the lovely places there are to visit.

Yep I know a woman who got upset that her parents had booked a holiday "That's my birthday week " she was 33. They were going on Friday, her birthday was the Monday before.

it’s a birthDAY

I’d go to the wedding and do her party the week before/agter . And do cake /pressies on the day

If you don't want to go then don't but I would think of a different excuse as 'birthday weekends' aren't even a thing as far as I'm aware!

What? How is that relevant to the question?

Sounds like you're just using the birthday as an excuse for not going

i wouldn’t be making a 2 night trip for the wedding of people I wasn’t close to and only saw once a year anyway. I would politely decline the invite and wish them well. Child’s birthday not relevant tbh.

So, you'd drive there after work on Friday, arrive somewhat late, especially late with a small child, let's say you stop half way for dinner, so you likely arrive by midnight. Wedding Saturday, hopefully you'll all have had decent sleep, evening party and you'll want to be on the road back home Sunday by noon, so you'll leave after check- out, brunch, stop for tea half way, home around 6pm. Yeah, I think it's a bit much. It would be for me with a young child. It could be fun, celebrate the birthday the next weekend instead, which would be fine, but I don't think I'd want that drive ... in January??? If the weather is bad the drive takes longer. ... pass.

(glad I worked through that! 😂)

Sure if want an excuse use it bit of you dont want to go just say no

I cant see any reason not to go though but we celebrate a birthday on a weekend day after a birthday if we chose too never before but she ia 4 how on earth will she know the difference

I’ve voted @TeacherMumLife but mainly because there was nothing in the title other than “AIBU” which makes it impossible to see beforehand if it’s worth clicking on.

lol, I’m answering to your question, YES!!! It seems cake can be seen as offensive. Sadly.

if I or anyone gave my Mum a cake it would come flying back followed by a heated argument!

She’s type 2 diabetic.

She's 4. She won't care. Go to the wedding and have a small celebration for her 4th another day.

YABU, what is a burthday weekend? She's 4, don't raise her to think the whole world revolves around her.

Go to the wedding and celebrate your daughter’s birthday another day. At age 4 she won’t have a clue.

Go to the wedding and take her to some of the lovely tourist places in Derbyshire the next day, then celebrate with her friends the following weekend. I bet she will love to dress up in a special dress