Troll hunting, why it's not a good idea and why we deleted the Rarebird thread

"confuzeld you sound so pleasant "

That was the aim there, yes.

I agree with SGB as well.

Some people on here are drama queens. I just avoid 'em.

I don't think anyone was being deliberately cruel yesterday - I think people just got caught up in a whirling dervish of madness and all encouraged each other. It was a strange thing to witness and be part of, to be honest, but I wouldn't want it to happen again.

Very, very strange.

But SGB someone narcissistic enough to be a professional victim is not going to be capable of taking that on board unless it's pointed out by a trained professional in a therapeutic context. Not by a pack of women whipped into the hysteria of anonymity + group.

I don't actually disagree with straight talking being a good thing. I'd not be on MN if I wanted fluffy and tightly moderated, and you often say things in a way that is very direct but extremely thought provoking, and that's fine. But on MN sometimes people take a dislike to a poster, justifiably or not, and then behave extremely nastily, and then try to pretend they are just being honest/doing it for the OP's good/it was all the OP's fault: she provoked it. It's bullshit. People are nasty because they want to be for their own reasons, it isn't okay, and it can't be justified.

"twat whose self-obsession and drama-queening shouldn't be pandered to"

funnily enough that's how I felt about a lot of the posters shouting troll yesterday.

There's also the fact that sometimes professional victims need to have it pointed out to them (and their supporters) that their behaviour is having a negative impact on other people, whether that's (unfairly) blaming someone else for all their problems to the extent of causing harm or whipping up campaigns against that person, or whether all the well-meaning support is allowing/encouraging the drama queen to take some sort of inappropriate vengeance.

yes fruitstick but perhaps if rb had had some straight talking before it came to yesterday's thread then yesterday's thread would never have materialized.

Straight talking is one thing. Being a seeping, foetid, rancid cunt is another.

That straight enough for you?

yes wannabe but I repeat my point, yesterday was not about straight talking - it was about ridicule, bullying and just sport really.

Fruitstick I would agree.

It went too far down the playground route.

A few 'get over him, he's a knobhead anyway' comments would ahve been fair; I might have at a 'Stop whinging and get down that SCBU to see your baby' but there's value in it.

Liar comments? nah.

"But if people are being a bit over emotional and feeling like the victim, they certainly don't need to be victimised that little bit more." The problem though is that if only nice "there there, you're obviously having a bad time, here have some more hugs" posters go on to those types of threads then it just increases the need for the victim to continue to be the victim...

Sometimes people need straight-talking.

Yes wannabe that's for sure, tehya re out there.

however that tends to be associated with a lot of things- low self worth, some kind of ongoing trauma (whether real or imagined). In that mix they also have up days and ideas presented on those days or support given can have quite major effects.

I'm not a natural victim (though I think sometimes my MN persona comes across like it) but I have had times of trauma and low self esteen where getting motivated to do anything has been hard; and sometimes the MN threads have given me ideas, whether used immediately or saved up, that have led to solutions. And seeing othjer people achieve things you thought weren't doable also ahs the same effect- I am sure without MN i'd never have truly thought I could have gone to do my degree, but others were managing it. Tales of people taking on tribunals have amde me think it is something people actually manage; all sorts of things.

You never quite know where the chink of light will fall or when, and a lot of that is going to be through referrals to agencies (just contact detials) that people might have not even known existed0 cahrities, homestart, whatever.

And now I ahve forgotten my point PMSL - as ever. Am sure it's in there somewhere

expat, I agree with you and love mumsnet for the straighttalking no nonsense responses that you get.

But what happened yesterday was not that (and I don't mean SGB personally) it was a liar liar pants on fire, let's take the piss out of this thread. Something very different.

However, I have wasted far too much time on here already

'But if people are being a bit over emotional and feeling like the victim, they certainly don't need to be victimised that little bit more.'

You see it as their being 'victimised' more, others see it as giving a straight opinion which may, in the long run, be more helpful than telling a person what he/she wants to hear.

People need to remember that this forum is very open and has a huge number of members.

As someone once stated, it's akin to painting your posts on a sandwich board and walking round Trafalgar Square on a sunny summer way at lunchtime.

You're going to get a range of responses.

Ignoring all the waffle about trolls and none trolls and hydra trolls.......

I think it went on for so long because it had been reported but there was no response from MNHQ.

In this instance locking that thread would have worked so that any support could have been seen if the poster was genuine and any speculation was on a different thread entirely if the poster was not genuine.

Sometimes MNHQ take too long to step in and diffuse.

first name
job (a rare one)
DCs
caesarians
erm...a few other things i think

well quite - I'm not dictating how anyone uses this forum but I do feel that if you do genuinely feel that "but (as I certainly thought in this case) the OP is a twat whose self-obsession and drama-queening shouldn't be pandered to" that maybe you should just move along and find a thread that interests you more.

I couldn't give a flying fuck about finding 'the perfect wedge' but I certainly don't go on those threads and berate the people who do.

I'm sure I've had my drama queen moments and what generally happens is people don't care sufficiently to post, I get the message and pull myself together.

But if people are being a bit over emotional and feeling like the victim, they certainly don't need to be victimised that little bit more.

Have been following this since yesterday- didn't know what to think re: if rarebird is a troll or not, and I still have no idea.

But what I wanted to ask is: why on earth was she suspected to have been/pretending to be the lady linked to on the thread? It seemed like a huge leap to me. Granted I haven't read her other threads but I would be grateful if someone could let me know if there was a reason or if it was just overexcited troll hunting!

join MNHQ
I have often thought that would be my dream job!

amen expat.

"paid employment" mmm now how can I get paid to be here?

but sgb has a point. The reality is that there are people who thrive on being victims. The sort of people who don't take advice and do something about it because then they can't feel sorry for themselves/provoke sympathy from others.

I agree with SGB.

'SGB, maybe a forum supposedly offering support and understanding isn't the place for you after all'

The forum serves a different purpose for every user. Some use it just for selling, for example. Others use it as paid employment.

It is not for anyone to dictate how it is to be used and what its purpose is.

What some perceive has 'hatred and scorn', others perceive as straight-talking. For example, my perception of SGB is that she is not a hateful or intolerant person, quite the opposite, in fact.