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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Right MNHQ, I'm looking at you.

464 replies

ShowOfHands · 02/02/2010 13:55

You know what I want. Enough with the delayed gratification.

I will not be moved. I have a banner.

Do it.

OP posts:
Bella32 · 03/02/2010 12:40

Or is Justine stealing a march on Carrie?

Bella32 · 03/02/2010 12:38

Actually, I think Justine et al are missing a trick here.

The potential for MN merchandise is huge.

MN lube.
MN haemorrhoid cream.
MN strap ons.

Could be worth a fortune.

Bella32 · 03/02/2010 12:36

Everybody knows French men are dirty buggers, SOH. Evidemment

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 12:34

Not a whole book no, some other stuff. I'm beginning to think my best works are on MN.

I was on a bus a while ago and two old women got on and one declared with a flourish "and that my dear is why I don't trust the French". I've wondered ever since what happened to her to elicit such adamance. Probably involved a cock eh Rhubarb?

Edith and Elsie sound like good fun. My Grandma assures me that in their day they "didn't have sex willy nilly". Which is what resulted in my father's conception no doubt.

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 03/02/2010 12:30

Well I am shocked at such open discussion of bollards here. Talking about such things is hardly ladylike, you know, Radished!!

Buda · 03/02/2010 12:27

This thread is completely hilarious!!!!

Def should be in Mumsnet Classics.

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 12:27
Radished · 03/02/2010 12:25
Hullygully · 03/02/2010 12:25

SoH - have you written a book before?

Radished · 03/02/2010 12:23

Great work SOH, I do agree with you. I don't particularly like bum sex threads and they're everywhere at the weekends so now I don't really visit here so much. [prude] It'd be good to scoop all the gloopier threads and then hide them in an innocent sounding thread topic.

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 12:22
Rhubarb · 03/02/2010 12:19

Two OAPs on a bus having a discussion about how cocks are not the same as they used to be:

"They seem to make them smaller these days Edith!"
"Do you think so Elsie? I don't know, maybe they just seemed bigger back then?"
"Either that or our mouths have grown, our Edith."
"Yes well mine does stretch further without my teeth Elsie."

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 12:14

Oh is that not funny? This thread has distorted my humour perception.

No, no terrible playground crashes atm but I might have to include it if I'm hoping to get it made into a film. Couple of OAPs on a bus isn't really big screen fodder is it?

I'll re-write the whole thing later.

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 03/02/2010 12:14

I think that Justine and the rest at MNHQ must still be hiding under the desks, praying for the return of sanity and normality to mumsnet - could be a while, ladies!!

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 12:04

Does the bus crash into the swings and roundabouts? I don't think a large scale child massacre will make that many people laugh. Although I can see the funny side, meself.

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 12:02

Rhubarb, are you quite well? I thought maybe you'd have sobered up this morning but the cock chat is de rigeur it seems.

My dh is teetotal btw in response to last night's musings.

Book has no actual cocks in it. Maybe that's why I'm here instead of writing it. There's a funny incident with a bus though, so it's swings and roundabouts.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 03/02/2010 11:59

Is it a book about cocks?

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 11:54

I think he looks kind. And people don't cycle enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 11:52

Work? I have a vague memory of what that entailed.

MNHQ I am supposed to be writing a book. How about I don't eviscerate you in fiction in return for the topic?

OP posts:
coldtits · 03/02/2010 11:50
Confused
Hullygully · 03/02/2010 11:50

Gasp - I take that back. Terrible guilt at appearance-ism.

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 11:49

All he needs is a walnut shell.

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 11:48

News just in. Saga are very keen.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 03/02/2010 11:48

I know. I really really must do some work. Have lost all grasp of delayed gratification and hooked on instant.

Need help.

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 11:45

Ever think you're wasted on MN?

And why does my google only ever chuck up a slightly rotund woman from Wyoming riding a horse whilst wearing fairisle knit and sensible shoes? I want an upgrade.

Great work this morning. Although, I'm not entirely sure the risque googling is helping our cause. Very inclusive though, making the walnut-sailers feel welcome.

Come out come out MNHQ, we know you're lurking.

OP posts:
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