Please tell us your thoughts on midwives for an upcoming meeting with the RCM

Apologies, need to correct my earlier post. According to DH the MW did come back into the room just in time, I just couldn't see her!

Wouldn't want to slate someone unecessarily

Lack of continuity during antenatal care is the biggest problem and makes women feel lost in the system. Seeing a midwife who knows you and your background/wishes, especially during labour, can be so reassuring.

Forgot to mention, for the love of god get in touch with technology. My midwife the second time around was insistent that I meet every midwife on the homebirth team. Great, except I had four missed appointments as it relied on them transferring the appointments between their paper diaries-which often got forgotten so I had to wait at home for a mw who never turned up. And to add insult to injury I never saw any of those midwives again, my named midwife had to go off shift and passed me over to two women I had never met before.

That abandoning a first timer in a room on her own and visiting twice in five hours because she entered the hospital at 8cm and seems to be coping well will leave her unable to enter hospitals without having a panic attack, unable to think about birth without crying and unable to think about another child for four years. The birth was 'normal' but I have never felt so frightened and alone as I did in that room. Postnatal 'care' meant being patronised and frightened all over again, rolling a woman over and sticking an injection in her bottom without telling her why surely isnt good practice.

That homebirth can repair the damage of a traumatic first birth, that a gentle birth is wholly possible. That if you show a little empathy and kindness towards a labouring woman especially when conducting a VE it makes it easier (my midwife said sorry when she hurt me, this made all the difference). That you should listen to the woman when she says she doesnt labour 'normally' and has a long latent stage before dilating very quickly because then you wouldn't frighten her after 19 hours of labour with the prospect of a transfer to hospital to get antibiotics (I gave birth 30 minutes later). And on a lighter note telling a mother of two who just triumphantly birthed her son to 'tinkle' in the shower in front of her mother will reduce everyone to astonished laughter.

imo this isnt personal it is narrative about our subjective experiences.as painful as it must be as a midwife to read this,it is necessary

also recognition that there are many fantastic competent MW too

My general experience has been of a system that is stretched to breaking point. Both the community team and hospital team were horribly busy and seemed to barely have time for me.

The main difference, however, was that the community mw tried her best to shield me from that, when I saw her she spent all the time with me I needed.

The hospital team on the post natal ward had no such finer feeling. Time and time again (after the birth of both dd1 and dd2) I was treated with impatience and contempt. When I asked about seeing a bf counsellor the mw snapped "that's for people with REAL problems", turned on her heel and walked away. Less than 24hrs post cs with dd2, still cathaterised, still bed bound, I asked for a drink of water and was refused. When I asked for help changing her nappy their response was to plonk her on my tummy and walk away.

I don't think I have ever felt so afraid and alone.

I had an incredible midwife for the births of my Dd3 and DD4 - she was very, very experienced, gave me wonderful care flouting local policies about aiming to be the midwife who attended me at my home births. Didn't push me to do anything I wasn't happy with and respected my choices.

I wasn't so lucky with DD1 and DD2 - I had a midwife who didn't like homebirths so tried to put me off them. I also met another one who said 'oh, if I'm on call when you go into labour, you won't be able to have a waterbirth - I don't do those!' and who also said that she only handed out information about bfing to women she thought would breastfeed!

So, from my own experiences, more training needs to be done so that midwives stop allowing their personal experiences and opinions colour the way they practise. They should have more debriefing time and more time to learn that they should be giving evidence-based information only and support to mothers in making the decisions that are right for them - not the decisions that the midwife thinks they should make!

In addition, they all need far, far, far more training in supporting women to breastfeed so that they don't do head ramming and don't reach for the nipple shields at the first instance.

I'm in the US so realize that this may be completely disregarded but as a 5 year contributor to MN I have read quite a bit about UK deliveries. I used a MW in the US for my first birth and ds1 almost did not survive the experience. We were in a teaching hospital here and had possibly similar care to that of the NHS. With ds2 I went with more typical US pre-natal care and an elective section (since I had PN PTSD after ds1's birth). It was wonderful. So, after reading and reviewing more natural types of births with MWs and discussing the more medical births we have here I say "Give me the medical birth with the private room and the lactation consultant every time!".

To the hospital midwives who sent me for a lukewarm bath when I told them I couldn't take the pain anymore and then 15 minutes later told me it was too late for pain relief - refresher training please. I had dc 30 minutes after that.

To the midwives I had for my homebirths - can't praise them enough. Fantastic care.

Things midwives should not do:

After EMCS under GA, fail to mention to me that my baby survived. I'm still traumatised because I thought no one had said anything because they were waiting for a doctor to give me the bad news. (Fortunately my DC was resuscitated and survived).

Make DP wait in corridor during CS then fail to tell DH that I had survived. Someone handed newly resuscitated DC to DP without a word. DP asked if I was alright, was told that someone would come out in a minute to say. Waited over 30 mins for anyone to appear.

In early labour: take delight in ensuring that I was left alone. MW on ward was very pleased to explain that my DP would be kicked out at 9pm because I would still be on the antenatal ward and not transferred to the labour suite by then.

Refuse to transfer me to labour suite because "it's too soon".

Offer to run a bath when I request an epidural that might help bring down my extremely high blood pressure.

Forget to phone DP to come in after I had transferred to labour suite. Ended up alone for 8 hours.

Sorry, this is supposed to be one point:
1.Had an intercity midwife team second time round, didn?t see the same midwife twice, and didn?t know the one that was at the birth.
2.Was left during one of the check ups with a trainee MW asked to do my blood pressure when the acting midwife popped out. She sat squeezing the bulb of the blood pressure thing for ages until she realised it was not attached. I know you got to start the training somewhere but my blood pressure was causing me concern.
When I complained and became distressed about the multitude of different faces of all the midwifes I encountered, and the incident with the trainee/crap blood pressure taking, my mental heath was questioned by the only MW with aptitude problems. (Thank the stars it wasn?t her at the birth, I know you?re a loony allot of the time when your pregnant, but it was a underhand way to undermine a genuine concern)
3.I was also extremely concerned about some symptoms and was seen promptly by the midwife 2 weeks before my appointment.
But I was told not to bother turning up for the next one as I had used up my turn as they were only funded for a certain amount of times you can see the MW.
4.Oh yea, what?s with the ?different? birth crap? Things go wrong, tell it how it is.
5.More midwife lead units please.

A lot of the above is beyond the powers of the midwifes, its lack of funding etc.

I would however like to say how excellent my midwife was at the birth and I retain an enormous respect for the profession as a whole. Dealing with that amount of bodily fluids, insane drugged up women in labour, numb scull fathers, bloody doctors who want the ?illness? treated a quickly as possible and the potential for when things go wrong they go really wrong.
Tell the midwife from me please:
Your not paid enough for what you do.

Oh yes I agree about the postnatal midwives. I had never held a baby before ds much less breastfeed and got next to no support. Also, the bd co-ordinator told me 'well its up to you what you prioritise your silly embarrassment or your childs health' when I said I was nervous about bf because of the exposure side of things!

Postnatal night time midwives were also an issue for me, especially with my second baby who was born by EMCS. I knew he wasn't feeding right, and was getting into a total panic but the midwives on that ward were busy doing paperwork behind the desk and not prepared to really talk to anyone. I think the good ones when they work nights must be delivering babies, obviously very important and valuable but I found those nights in hospital very hard.

Havent read whole thread but I could really have done with a mw who understood what hyperemesis was really like.

Equally, I was admittedly given a fair bit of time appointment wise when suffering with antenatal anxiety but very,very little understanding and actually no-one ever mentioned the term antenatal anxiety - I was made to feel that no-one else had ever had AND or similar and that I was a complete loon and waste of resources. I think I would have recovered much better from it if I had known I wasnt alone and wasnt a hopeless case. I feel incredibly guilty about how anxoius and depressed I was when pregnant even now.

some sweeping medical generalisation there.many medics are empathic and have no desire to see any woman shackled to monitor.for ping or ding

i was fortunate to have consultant lead care,with an empathic holistic consultant

Decide whether you want to be (a) obstetric nurses enslaved to doctors, who love the machines that go ping and don't give a stuff about birth choices and who assume the worst at all times, or (b) proper midwives who live up to their name of being "with women".

And then let us know, so that those of us who want normal births can avoid the former and find the latter.

And the former group can stop slagging off Doulas - who provide the support, encouragement and empowerment to get something like the births that we yearn for and that we were conned into thinking that hospital midwives would help us towards.

Ahhhhh. Catharsis.
(one EMCS; one VBAC - with a Doula)

Ok - my situation is a bit different: second to-term pregnancy, currently carrying identical twins who have shown evidence of TTTTS and I also have ankylosing spondylitis... so I accept pretty unique...

I have, this pregnancy, I estimate seen over 30 midwives. A lot I now know and see again and again. Every single one has shown compassion and care in what has frankly been the worst 7 months of my life. From the hyperemisis to threatened prem labour, to my pelvis giving up on me - every single one has been supportive and reassuring and gone out of their way to get answers and liase between 4 different consultants (obstetrics, rheumatology, orthopaedics and cardiology). I was so worried that the uniqueness of my case would lead to one area being forgotten - it's been the midwives who've held that together, fought my corner, and got me and my babies this far without me disintegrating in to depression. My community midwife who doesn't even have to have anything to do with me (being consultant led) has been at the end of the phone to help coordinate when I've been stuck who to talk to next. She's reassured my husband who, at times, has been worried about of his mind.

And my babies are still inside... and I know, that despite it being Christmas, every single effort has been made to address how to care for me and my babies post-natally due to my disability and their likely prematurity...

So for all the midwives who simply have been amazing I say thank you...

I can honestly say that throughout one high risk singleton pregnancy leading to EMCS and this MCDA pregnancy with the AS, I have only met one horrid midwife... the rest of you I can't fault one iota.

And the gold standard team are now being hounded out of existance because they don't fit in with what the NMC and NHS want from them

See my above calls to SAVE THE ALBANY

a fantastic team, who midwives nationally aim to emulate, working outside 'the norm', to provide caseloading midwifery, being scapegoated and closed down because they dare to suggest that women can get continuity of care and a good quality service.

Same as the ridiculous fact that independent midwives are unable to obtain indemnity insurance and are more likely than anyone to get hauled up before the NMC because they reject arbitrary guidelines and dare to give women the care they ask for..

rant ocer - but i'd like to hear the RCM's response to both the Albany issue and that of independent midwives.

Don't forget that for the woman who is pg or just about to give birth this is a scary, exciting, exhilarating, painful (and many more!) experience. Be sensitive to her needs.

I have distinctly unhappy memories of struggling with first childbirth. MW who was spectacularly busy with women in more advanced stages of childbirth (she may or may not have actually said this, or perhaps we just worked it out) and so only popped in occasionally to see how I was (not) coping. When my husband eventually said to her 'my wife's not coping with the pain' her response was along the lines of 'it's childbirth, it will hurt'.

During the subsequent em c/s, it was established that ds1 was completely stuck in op position and was never going to get anywhere. MW may not have been able to (help) turn him or change the outcome, but she could have been way more sympathetic.

With ds2, had great mw during labour, but never saw same mw twice for antenatal checks. Think my pct was trialling 'one mw only' in neighbouring gp practices, perhaps that put the pressure on everyone else, but I really missed the chance to get to know the comm. midwife. Only subsequently heard that it's possible to have the same mw both antenatally and during labour - that must be the gold standard, and what the RCM sets out as the ultimate goal...

Oh thank God.

There is a bit of a glitch with that too PerArdua, in the vast numbers of part time midwiives. It can take 3-4 of us to build a whole one. So thats 4 pictures on the leaflet, and another 5 WTE roles to fill. Last I hear 6 was considered a good team number I will may be out of date on that one.

Honestly, it is so frustrating. It does looks like it should work on paper, and it does in some places.

Of course holiday is the option we go for most, but it's the same old problem we all have regarding nativity plays being announced one month in advance Holidays would need booking 6 months in advance really. Staff staff staff. Not enough of them.

We need an experienced team midwife to come on thread and show us how it is done!

I would have liked you too Tree

For most of my pregnancies my question would have been 'hello, who are you then?'

No continuity of care whatsoever and indeed very little contact with midwives. Had zero follow up visits with both (very problematic) pregnancies.