Please tell us your thoughts on midwives for an upcoming meeting with the RCM

rubyslippers when i had my debrief to find out why my birth plan went so wrong i was told it was down to staff shortages. the staff shortages were that bad my waters broke on sunday and i wasnt able to be induced till thursday because they were understaffed.

To the midwife who was on night duty when I arrived for my induction at the Whittington: why were you so mean to me? (It sounds pathetic I know but as a scared first-timer, I wanted to be looked after not spoken to like a naughty schoolchild.)

To the midwife who was with me for the labour: thank you, you were really good, but why did you leave 15 minutes before the baby was born? It was obvious it was nearly over, I know your shift was over, but couldn't you have stayed a little bit longer?

To the midwives on the postnatal ward: there aren't enough of you! we need more!

To the midwives who were supposed to come and see me at home: you didn't turn up

In other words, the postnatal care was RUBBISH. Health Visitors were much better.

I found bf really difficult - my DD and I ended up back in hospital due to weight loss. Although all the midwives were nice people, they all gave me different (and often contradictory) advice. So I would say - speak to each other ffs. Develop hospital guidelines so that all midwives are offering good advice.

To the CMs who visited me ante and postnatally - you were mostly all nice. But having 4 different MW in four days undoubtedly was a major factor in the whole bf debacle. After I got out of the hospital again, why was I immediately discharged to the even more harassed HV?

I totally appreciate that many of these issues require lots of money to sort out.

However, if every midwife could make an effort to say one kind or reassuring thing to each woman they work with, I believe this would improve care immeasurably and cost nothing.

There were numerous times when a kind word or look would have made all the difference to me. I still don't understand why some midwives would treat another human being, let alone a very vulnerable woman, with such cruelty.

Continuing professional development, yes yes yes. I noticed a big difference between some of the junior midwives and some of the senior midwives in terms of how clued up they were on modern birthing practices, breastfeeding etc. The senior midwife who delivered my son was dangerously old-fashioned in her views. I was told afterwards (by the physio examining the permanent damage to my pelvis) that she had contravened hospital guidelines in forcing me to give birth in such an unnatural position.

And it was a junior midwife (who looked about 16) who finally worked out why breastfeeding was going so disastrously wrong for me. Thank you to that lovely woman, you saved my sanity. You were great.

having read many of these posts i am struck by three things:

women who aren't being listened to whether it is about birth choices, pain relief etc
women being given poor/contradictory advice about breastfeeding
women being left to labour alone

what can the RCM do about these issues - they seem so basic to me. Undoubtedly low staffing is an issue. Where i am the 5 CMs look after over 1000 pregnant women in 3 localities ...

To the midwives who deal with SANDS at St Thomas's London thank you for making what was undoubtedly the most horrific experience of my life, slightly more bearable: for comforting me and caring for me and doing a job that no one on this earth would wish to do.

I could literally CRY when I think about the lack of knowledge many midwives have when it comes to breastfeeding.
As a counsellor on the national helpline I am often stunned to hear of the inaccuracies women are told about breastfeeding and the basics of breastmilk supply.
I work alongside a (now specialist) midwife who told me how her and her colleagues used to argue about who would go to support new mums on the ward as they felt so insecure about their breastfeeding knowledge. She received just 6 hrs of training on the subject.
TODAY I met a mother of a 2 wk old who was told he should be gaining 50g a day and not being back up to birthweight at 10 days was a serious concern (he has lost 5% of birth weight and was only just under birthweight at 10 days). WHERE had this midwife received this information and WHY did she feel so confident in giving it out in such an officious tone?
Every week I meet mums of newborns who tell me the one thing that made their hospital experience difficult was that every midwife told them something different about breastfeeding and they all contradicted each other.
I appreciate it takes time and money to train people properly but parents are being given misinformation at the moment and starting life with their baby brimming with confusion and frustration. Even just one laminated sheet of A4 stuck on the wall in hospital/ clinic would help - e.g. encourage people to use the same language and phrases when it comes to attachment and positioning, acknowledge not all babies feed for the same length of time, talk about how feeding patterns change once the milk starts to become fattier and that's the way to judge 'the hindmilk' coming in - not X number of minutes.

The mother I observed feeding today had also been advised to hold her breast away from the baby's nose. COMPLETELY unnecessarily and she was risking a blocked duct with the amount of pressure she had been told to use.

To the community midwives - thankyou, you listened to me and supported me.

To the delivery suite midwives who helped me through labour - thankyou you listened to me and supported me.

To the triage midwife - you did not accept that I needed strong pain relief - I felt that I had to beg for the epidural and remembering this even now brings me to tears. Listen to us - 1st rule of analgesia - pain is what the patient says it is.

MrsTM, that's a lovely post.

Reiki, the RCM can do something about it - to be fair they have tried making the case again and again that more midwives are needed. They need to rethink their strategy, though, to get much further with this.

Nothing the RCM can do about it but as a newly qualified midwife I have realised that what we need is more staff, much more staff. So that we can invest the time antenatally to convince women that they can deliver their babies. More staff so that we can provide compassionate care on antenatal wards, and one to one support in labour. More staff so that we can really support breastfeeding mums, and not be constantly panicking that we have spent an hour with a mum getting feeding established and have not done any of the other 200 things we should have done that morning.
Less duplication of paperwork, the same thing 3 times on the computer and written in the notes.
More staff and better pay so that midwives can work the hours that suit them and their families, and keep the passion and enthusiasm alive they had when they qualified.

This is going to be long - sorry.

To the midwife in the CLU (first pregnancy) -
Thank you for saving DD1's life.

To the postnatal midwife (first pregnancy) -
Thank you for helping me during my first night with DD1. I was completely exhausted and frightened that DD1 was going to stop breathing. I know that you were in a large hospital and that the postnatal wards were full, so you must have been really busy, but you always came and helped me lift DD1 out of the crib and put her back in, so that I could breastfeed her on demand.

To the community midwife (second pregnancy) -
Thank you so much for taking my concerns about childbirth seriously. I was completely dismissed by most of the medical profession. It was lovely that you recognised how hard I worked to have a natural birth the first time, how badly I was treated by the consultant when everything went pear-shaped, and how much the resulting vaginal damage had affected my quality of life. If you hadn't offered me an elective C section and supported me, then I would never have had the courage to try for another natural birth.

To the head of the MLU (second pregnancy) -

Thank you for taking time out to talk to me and for reviewing the notes of my first labour and delivery. It was really good to know why things had gone wrong, and it gave me lots of confidence to know that you had officially "authorised" my birth plan for my second birth. I would have been much more anxious without your help.

I must have been really lucky, as I know that there are horror stories, but I have always had very caring midwives, and I am very, very grateful.

Oh, and if you think you want to help women breastfeed, go and find out how to do it. Don't combine bullying women while simultaneously doing your level best to undermine them so badly their baby will inevitably end up on a bottle. (The post-natal midwives at Chesterfield Royal Infirmary might want to take special note of this.)

Finally, remember that if you carry out a procedure on a woman without her consent, you are guilty of assault and might end up in court. The ante-natal midwives in Battersea might want to take note of that. Although I hope since my complaint they have changed their practice.

There were simply not enough staff. It made the experience unacceptable and poorly managed.
After 26 hours in "active" labour I ended up with a emcs.

I felt that some of the staff were simply too exhausted and overworked to remember that this is a big event for everyone of the women having children.

Some kindness and patience wouldn't go amiss.

Remembering that women in pregnancy often are frightened and vulnerable. They are not trying to cause an unnecessary fuss, piss you off and aren't just some sort of waste of time.

I witnessed mw being actually cruel
and offhand to some of the mothers in my ward and displaying very different behaviour than that required from hcp... vv different than that displayed by the community midwives.

Also being unable to give any constructive advice on breastfeeding as there was no one who had experience of women with large breasts wasn't the best start.

I think if you are unable to remain level, calm and positive in your role as a mw that you should consider a different one.

My second daughter with elective c/s and private room care etc was a blissful experience in comparison and whilst that isn't what I would have wanted to say it is the truth

I would have loved the midwives during my labour to actually LISTEN to me, READ my birth plan and RESPECT my wishes. Also a debrief afterwards would be great so that you could say what you were happy or unhappy with so that lessons could be learnt about good and bad practice.

Specifically I would say to my own midwives:

If I say "Stop!" while you're doing something because it is causing me a lot of pain, please stop immediately - don't ignore me.

Don't repeatedly offer me a totally unnecessary epidural when I have clearly stated in my birth plan that this is not what I want.

To be fair, I had 4 midwives in total during my 2 labours, and 2 were excellent but 2 (1 each time) were incredibly set on doing things their own way. I felt quite bullied and considered making a complaint on the first occasion though never did.

(and women how want home hospital births)

oh, i meant to say i agree with your whole heartedly!

isn't that hwat 'quite' means?

the team leader for my community midwives and I had a barney over 'if we are busy you will have to come in'

I told her there was a snowball's chance in hell that I would.

she said (summarising a long convo) that i would be depriving other women of midwives and that I would be selfish to have one for myself.

I told her it is up to midwives (and women how want home births) to demand enough midwives to go around at all times. not for me to give in and go to hospital. Noooo! Why should I go into an already overstretched (ie unsafe) labour ward and put myself in the position I was in the first time? The one that could have cost me and dd1 our lives or our permanent well-being?

It was being abandoned and ignored in hospital despite being brought to hospital under blue lights the previous evening that gave me PTSD and made me terrified of going back to one.

Sorry, just thought I'd add a telling example about safety - when I spoke to the community midwives after having ds about the scary staffing levels at St Thomas's (one midwife to seven women in active labour on the midwife-led birth unit), they said ooh, yes, Tommy's is terrible, we all talk about them being lucky they haven't managed to kill anyone yet.

Why the HELL are midwives keeping quiet about issues that serious?!

quite edam.

I think midwives need to get bolshy with health service managers and make it clear when the service isn't safe or staffing levels are far too low to do an adequate job, let alone a good one.

And they should get bolshy with their own CPD providers, whoever that is, and demand much more and better training on b/f. (And take some ruddy responsibility for their own training, too). Most of them haven't got a clue.

PS by breastfeeding counsellors, I mean someone who is active with one of the 4 breastfeeding charities or someone with the IBCLC certificate.

Continual Professional Development should be mandatory and paid.

Especially in breastfeeding, homebirths including waterbirths, active births.

Each midwife should have a long term career goal outlining how she has updated her knowledge in these areas.

Get all the formula advertisements out of the midwifery magazines.

Infant feeding education to HCPs should never ever be in the hands of a company which manufactures formula. These courses should come from unbiased groups like UNICEF.

Increase the knowledge of breastfeeding to midwives while they are still students. Have Breastfeeding counsellors design and deliver the modules. Have student midwives attend well established breastfeeding support groups over a period of months. I'd say at least one a week for 12 weeks.

I would like to say thank you to my midwife she was amazing.

However she was an independent midwife who had confidence in me and supported my choices. She treated me like a human being. I will always be grateful.

To the NHS midwives I saw pre and post natally, I'd like to say remember we are human and please respect us, our feelings and our choices.