Please tell us your thoughts on midwives for an upcoming meeting with the RCM

ONE WOMAN ONE MIDWIFE

or one woman, assigned to a team of say 4 - 5 midwives, that you would meet during the pregnancy and you would definitely know someone who was delivering

try not to say unfounded , scary things to women, especially primips

classic i heard recently was 'you can't have a water birth, your baby will drown'

you cannot expect women to make informed choices if they are scared , if they are told categorically that they or their baby will die, and if the MWs own birth experiences are projected onto the woman

don't resort to advising formula top ups withing hours of breastfeeding starting if the baby is sucking a lot.

i understand fully the pressures MWs are under, but you never forget your MWs and it is better to be remembered for the right reasons!!

i have worked alongside some truly, truly wonderful midwives who have been an absolute inspiration.

We need more midwives with more time and more individual care.

I booked an Independent Midwife for my second pregnancy/birth and the difference was amazing. Long antenatal appointments where I could discuss what I wanted when I wanted (none of this "We discuss birth option at 34 weeks crap" that I had first time round). Much more time spent addressing my concerns, more support postnatally too and being able to make all my own decisions with no pressure to just go along with "hospital policy", I always felt I was making a fully informed decision.

What I would love is a midwife who is "my midwife".

That's the biggest problem in my area. In my first pregnancy I must have seen well over 25 midwives, all told.

I had 6 antenatally. I saw 7 in labour itself. At least 10 on the postnatal ward. And 2 on my two postnatal visits.

I only saw a handful of them more than once, never saw any more than twice, and had no confidence that they had any grasp of my risk factors or wishes.

In my second labour I managed to wangle my way onto the home birth team and had a wonderful experience with a small group of midwives who SPOKE to each other. It was completely different and transformative - I felt cared for, supported, and knew where to go with any worries. Yet this kind of care is only available to low-risk women who are, arguably, those least in need of intensive support.

Which midwife though, wonk? Of the many?

The community MW, lovely, wonderful, marvellous, supportive and I love her forever.

But the ones that mattered MUCH more, at crunch time? So many things...

To the fucking jobsworth who basically STOPPED my labour when I entered hospital intending a VBAC after negotiating LONG and hard to labour in the community midwifery unit and use the birthing pool (because I knew I was having another long, posterior, big-baby labour and would need not to be strapped up and monitored...) by saying 'not on my licence darling' when I asked to get in said pool, and me being in no fit state to argue, leaving me crushed and distressed and utterly lacking in confidence which ate away at me until I couldn't cope anymore. To her, I'd like to say: I blame YOU personally for that. You made the difference that sent me back to another probably unnecessary C section.

Continuity of care. Awareness of how powerful their professional culture is, when it has these massive impacts from such tiny comments and decisions. This is all I want from any changes.

I have a lovely relationship with my mw. I wish we could have some influence on which midwife we get at the delivery.

"thank you for actually listening to me and hearing my thoughts and fears"

She listened thoroughly to the thoughts I had about my first birth and did everything she could to avoid a repeat of the things I had mentioned.

Sadly she went off long term sick a few months later She was fabulous - Jackie Huggins if you are out there It is you I am talking about

Need midwives to have more time ante, peri and postnatally to spend with their clients. Women are rushed through appointments and don't get a chance to build relationships, which means they may worry unnecessarily or have issues that aren't picked up. Most midwives want to give good care, but at the moment there aren't enough of them to do that.