Facebook, Bebo, Myspace - are your kids on it - what age should they be allowed to start?

DS-13 is on Bebo and FB, and DS-12 and DD-10 are on FB. I have parental controls on the computer. DD-10 is only allowed friends on FB whom I approve. She really just goes on to play games and communicate with my extended family who are abroad. Just about all of the secondary school children around here seem to be on FB. All three are also my friends on FB so I can keep tabs on them that way too.

My kids are allowed Facebook from age 13 on the condition that DH and I are their friends.

I would say when they get to secondary school age they are old enough to go on fb etc ... as long as you can talk to them about all the risks and problems that may occur

But bonkerz your ds is in the minority.

The reality is that most children do things their parents are unaware of, and accessing things online is no different. And as I said most children over the age of eleven have their own mobile phones and most mobiles come with internet access so going on to facebook o your mobile is easy enough. In fact there are networks that offer free unlimited access to facebook, myspace and beebo if you top up by a certain amount.

And unlike computers, mobile phones don't have parental controls that restrict access t certain things - yes some providers do place a safeguard on certain sites, but facebook isn't one of them. (mn is though! mn is considered not suitable for under 18s by orange).

well thats quite simple cos my son has no friends!(no joke either as he is in a class of 3 children and is autistic!) on his facebook account he has his step sister (she comes at weekends and is younger than him but they speak via facebook) he has ME and he has his DAD. He cannot access facebook anywhere else as he does not know the password. He does not have a mobile phone!

Also once children reach secondary age parents don't know all their friends so it's easy enough to say that someone is "my friend" without the parent actually knowing who they are.

I think the difficulty is that many parents know nothing, or next to nothing, about these sites, so they are going on what their child tells them it can do / what protection there is. And the children might either be lying, or repeating what their friends have said without any of them actualy checking.

I don't have accounts myself on any of these things - so when DS wanted to go on Bebo, we had to look into it and find out - we're fairly internet-savvy so found the page with the age information on, and saw what the options were, and were happy to go ahead and set it up with reasonable confidence.

But many parents either can't or won't find out for themselves, and then it becomes another of the "But everyone else does. It's not fair" arguments.

My mate posts pictures on her profile (not private) of her and her friend's drunk and various men draped round her. Her children have their own facebook accounts and can see their mother's pictures - then she wonders why she is having problems with their behaviour.

I think children lying to get on these websites is one thing, they do so presumably to keep up with their friends who are on the same sites. But parents that allow their children to lie in order for them to get on these sites is something else altogether.

I also think that many parents are naive as to what children do and don't do on the internet, because although we can have parental controls at home, we have no control over what our children do online when they're elsewhere, at other friends' houses, the library, in an internet cafe ... and children are a lot more internet savvy than we give them credit for.

Also most children over the age of eleven have mobile phones, and many of these have internet access, and again parents would have little control over that, and it's easy enough to delete what you've been doing/who you've been talking to on facebook via your mobile phone without parents knowing.

I don't know what the answer is tbh, I think it's a worry that children have far earlier access to things that we never did, things which can compromise their safety, because as much as we tell kids not to give out info, most will at some time.

OK I'm irresponsible

Of course the Facebook company must comply with US law, but it's up to me to supervise my dd's use of the internet.

My dd is 11, uses facebook mostly to play Farmville. She is only allowed to have people she knows in RL as friends. They are either relatives or her classmates.

My 12yo DD has been begging me to let her have a Facebook account for weeks "because all my friends have one".

I say no and will continue to say no for at least another year. She has MSN and that is enough for now.

wannaBe, presumably the children lie because they want to join and be more grown up than they really are, and their parents don't know about it? Maybe because the parents aren't clued up about the web?

thanks wannabe, im not irresponsible, irresponsible would be allowing DS access at any point without parental supervision and allowing him to have the password etc. Im not an idiot either HENCE DS can only play the games and is never left alone with the laptop!
he didnt lie about his age, its MY EMAIL ADDRESS and MY DOB but the name inclorporates DS name.

We allowed DS onto Bebo when he was 13 - but limited him to only linking to people he already knew. We looked at his page now and then, but haven't for a long while. He hasn't yet asked to go on any of the other sites, but I would be fine with them now that he's 16. We also made sure he knew not to give out personal information, as a general internet security thing.

xposts justine.

Cannot understand why someone would put in a false date of birth for their child to allow them to have access to facebook. Totally irresponsible imo.

The lower age limit for facebook and any other website hosted out of the US is 13. It is 13 because of a US law called COPA which is the "children's online privacy act" which means it is illegal for sites in the US to collect personal information i.e. names, dates of birth, email addresses etc from a child under the age of 13. This is for the safety of the children...

And still some idiot parents seem not to care and let their kids lie anyway. presumably you'll be allowing them to drink underage too?

Between the ages of 14-16. My boys are 8 and 13 and haven't shown any interest in going on these sites thankfully. My eldest used to MSN a few friends but the novelty soon wore off. My eldest was a victim of bullying and happy slapping not so long ago he could easily be a target for cyberbullying.
Our computer is in the living room and has parental settings.

I'm worried by this news from CEOPS that FB and MS won't let them put a safety button where children who are worried can contact CEOPS direct. Seems very wrong.

Would also think Youtube should put the same button on. But I haven't looked for it, maybe they do.

Not an issue for us yet as ds is only 6 and uses the internet only with me right there. Sometimes for homework, or to play games/watch train videos/Doctor Who with me right there.

But when he's older, I will be monitoring whatever is the equivalent of Bebo by then very, very carefully.

DS is 9 and has a facebook account ! BUT it is MY email address, only I know the password and DS only goes on it for the games, the privacy settings are also set VERY high and he is not searchable at all. He also only goes on facebook on the laptop which he has to sit with the screen on veiw so i am totally happy he is safe! I also check all the notifications etc he is not allowed to touch any thing other than games!

DD is 9 and had a bebo account when she was 7! She liked Bebo because you can download funky wallpapers and glittery sticker things for your page. Her 'friends' were family members (cousins) and a few family friends. However she has just deregistered from Bebo because 'it is boring'.

She is now on Facebook and plays the games on there - farmville/aquarium thing. I know her password and none of my kids (9, 12 and 14) have their own pcs.

We have one family pc in the study and I know all passwords, know when the kids are on and check all history.

My older 2 have facebook accounts, but TBH they were really into it at first and now don't really use it. (They are boys and I wonder if it is more a girl thing?) Also, I do sometimes check my 14 year old's page - some of his friends are my FB friends - and the language on there is pretty eye watering sometimes. And as for the txt spk!! But hey, it's only how they talk in school.

My view is if you expose them early and don't make it a big deal or a mystery they will soon get bored of it. We also have rules - if I don't know their password, they don't make an account. They don't download any apps without asking me (I usually say no!)

I thought you had to be 13/14 ish to use facebook - what do you do if they are younger, put in a false date of birth? My youngest is 10 and intermittently asks for an account, but really she is happy with Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters. Sometimes I beg permit her to sort out my farmville farm on fb though.

it astounds me how many parents don't have parenting controls on their computers.

also you can do all this stuff from most mobile phones

Ds1(12) is on MSN, he is desperate for Facebook but I have said no until he is 13.

My main concern will be about him not using his security settings well enough, so I think he will be allowed it on the basis that we check security every so often.

I am always amazed at how many of my friends allow all their pictures etc to be viewed be everybody, mine is strictly friends only, with some restrictions on certain things within that so would want to be sure he is not doing the same.