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Original poster

Could you help someone escaping Domestic Abuse??????

58 replies

Mamazon · 17/11/2009 18:43

As im sure your all aware Domestic abuse is a massive problem in our society and resources to help women escape are scarce.
On MN alone there are many many women that are either struggling to leave or have finally left and are now struggling to get settled.

Now Mehdismummy has given me a most fantastic idea and i am keen toput it into action, but i need the help of all of you most fabulous MNers. we all know how generous you are -me more than most- and so i am counting on you to help get this off the ground.

I have an enormous cupboard at my house (it is about the size of a box room almost) and with your friends i hope to fill it with little bits and pieces that women could use as essential items when they first leave. things like clothes, nappies, kettles, pots and pans etc etc.

When a woman leaves these items are invaluable in those early days so i would put together "first day" boxes and post to them.
they could be tailored to theh individual needs of the people in general but basically they could offer a but of support to cover them until community care grants and other funds kick in.

It would be my hope that once we have a core amount of "stock" we could even get a few bits to help from MN supporting businesses.

Now theh idea was only put to me this afternoon so i haven;t quite ironed out all theh kinks but what do we think? anyone have any other bits of advice or things to think about?? or even anything they think they could possibly donate?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 20:58

oh gosh no i wouldn't pass it on to anyone for anything. I was just thinking of ways i could have some kind of security measure before giving out my home address.

I would probably only keep the details for a short while and then shred them along with my own sensetive material.

My name is my email address and i have pic's on my profile so if you thought i may know you you could just use your MN name.

OP posts:
Wilts · 17/11/2009 20:47

Mamazon- It wouldn't bother me giving you me address in the way you suggested as long as it was not passed on to anybody else without my consent.
I would also like to be told if you recognised me by my real name/address- I don't think you do by the way but just in case

Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 20:39

downloaded that pack already thanks Sospan
I am hoping that i can find some local info for people once i know where they will be as i doubt they will have access to the net once they have left.

Im really excited about this now.
Will tidy the cupboard tomorrow (it's only housing some broken bits i've yet to take to the dump) and then i can start accepting donations.

oooh it feels good to be doing something positive

OP posts:
Sospan · 17/11/2009 20:25

Mamazon - Women's Aid have an excellent Survivor's Handbook here that you can download and print. Has lots of useful stuff about legal rights, housing options, money, children, etc. Might save you a bit of work?

Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 20:13

Now, next problem.

My address. Obviously i would be running this from home so how would people feel about me rather than emailing out my address, they emailed me theirs and i post them mine?

That way they would only get my address if the one they have given me is correct? just thought it would be safer to have addresses of those who have mine...just in case.

would people think thats an invasion of their privacy and be put off donating do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 20:11

I am keen to contact businesses for some more substantial help but as i say, think i may have to be registered as an actual charity in order to get any real help.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 20:10

ooh old phones is a great idea! our £1 shop has sim cards so could stock up on those.

Initially it would just be for Mumsnetters but if we had enough of a repsonse and there was enough stock i would gladly help those in need from the local refuge.

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BalloonSlayer · 17/11/2009 20:07

What about spare/unused sim cards?

monkeypinkmonkey · 17/11/2009 20:02

Old mobile phones? phone vouchers? to help with phone call to local authorties etc. I've certainly got clothes to help.

BalloonSlayer · 17/11/2009 19:58

Brill idea

Will try to get cracking!

Dumb question alert: this is for mumsnetters, is it? Or for a local project? Or both? (Great idea either way)

Mothers' Union often run projects (well they do in "our" neck of the woods) to produce packs like this.

I have seen MU appeals for things for young offenders taken into custody to tide them over a night or two. Also for women taken into labour unexpectedly and removed to hospital without their labour bags from home.

mathanxiety · 17/11/2009 19:57

Would you consider approaching shops in the vicinity of a dv shelter to see if they could issue vouchers for small household items, toiletries, makeup, nappies, etc. that the women could use when they arrive at the shelter. Shelter could give them out as needed. Would look good for the shops too if there was any publicity attached (thinking of the RED campaign)

My oldest DD's school does a christmas collection for the local dv shelter. They accept items like makeup, toiletries, perfumes, underwear and baby things like nappies. Plus money of course.

winnybella · 17/11/2009 19:47

oh sorry I reread OP and I see that you mentioned it

winnybella · 17/11/2009 19:45

What a great idea!
Would you take babies'/ children clothing as well?

Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 19:44
Blush
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kormaAAAARRRRGGHHchameleon · 17/11/2009 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 19:33

no i see where your comign from Korma.

Hopefully people will only send what they no longer need or can afford.
I guess i would be the only one to feel taken advantage of and i reckon im tough enough to take it on the chin.
as i say, if it manages to be of use to 1 woman then im happy for a couple of chancers to get a second hand kettle

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kormaAAAARRRRGGHHchameleon · 17/11/2009 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 19:30

as for being kind.
all i have to do is take in some unwanted bits and go to the post office. not a greaqt d eal of work on my part.

But i ave been in the position of having literally nothing and so i know how usefull this sort of thing would have been.
if thats a problem i could ease for just a few women then i feel i would be giving back some of the most amazing help MN has given me over the years.

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kormaAAAARRRRGGHHchameleon · 17/11/2009 19:30

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eastendmummy · 17/11/2009 19:29

I think that this is a wonderful idea and I would be very happy to support it in any way that I can. I'm not sure I have anything suitable to donate atm but am happy to give vouchers or a donation via paypal.

Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 19:28

I guess we can't Korma. there will always be people who think that if they invest a couple of nights trollery on the forums they could benefit. but if they are that desperate for some second bits of household stuff then i guess they are in just as much need as those we aimed to help.

I don't propose sending lots of money in cash or hiugh quality items, just some sainsbo's vouchers and second hand bits.

To thos ein genuin need it will be like liquid gold, but those not, it'll all seem a bit pants.

or at least i'd hope!

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kormaAAAARRRRGGHHchameleon · 17/11/2009 19:22

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Hassled · 17/11/2009 19:21

It's a brilliant idea - like Wilts I don't have anything obviously useful but would be more than happy to donate supermarket vouchers/cold hard cash. Will have a look at the Charities Commission website and see what's involved.

RealityMNTVStar · 17/11/2009 19:18

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Original poster
Mamazon · 17/11/2009 19:08

Well i set up a paypal account for the christmas party which will now be redundant so woudl be happy for that to be used for this.

I had considered taking cash/voucher donations to A) pass on as supermarket vouchers B)help with pastal costs and C) to be used to buy travel tickets for people needing to leave and get away fast

I also thought of maybe contacting the big superstores to ask for some donations of shopping vouchers, just a £10 voucher could buy bread and milk to cover someone for a couple of days. but i worry that i would have to be registered as a proper charity for that....and i just wouldn't know where to start.

All these idea's are fabulous. keep 'em coming

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