Is is inappropriate to have thread titles talking about suicide?

mumsnet is not the samaritans

Surely, if this is your line of work then you must understand the huge relevance of someone posting about this. As has already been explained it is normally their way of asking for help/wanting to offload as for whatever reason they do not feel they can do it in RL.

Surely it is better that they post and someone offers comfort and support that they would not otherwise be receiving.

Would you rather they kept it to themselves when surely this would exacerbate the risk of them harming themselves?

people are starting to rely too much on the help and support of internet strangers to sort out their massive emotional problems...that is wrong, (and impossible...)

yep, ok to get advice on cooking/parenting, and of course the support on the M/C threads is brilliant...but when a poster is on here talking about suicide.....different level.

What seeker said much earlier.

This is an internet forum. It is incredibly useful for people who can't or won't talk to people in real life; maybe they don't have anyone who gives a damn.

Yes, there is always a risk that someone gives 'inappropriate' advice or some attention seeking loon gets encouraged but I say that is more than balanced out by the chance that someone who is feeling sad, lonely and desparate gets just a small glimmer of hope that life is not just a bloody awful grind but that somebody out there does care, even if you have never met them and never will.

If the thought of suicide or discussing it makes you uneasy, hide the thread and/or don't engage.

Agree that also posting links to professional help and support is useful but why a blanket ban on any kind of less formal support and help?

I do suspect some people are just scared because its not 'nice'. Well, there are many other sites for you.

'WRT what happens if it all goes wrong, well that comes back to personal responsibility really, if someone posts on a suicide thread then they shoudl be aware of the options for how it will turn out and, hopefully, they should be able to say "ok, it went wrong but I gave it my best shot, what a shame it was not enough this time". If they cannot do that the they should not be posting on it really, as adults posters who choose to involve can make decisions for themsleves about what they can/cannot handle!'

Very true; I have in the past elarned that policy with all MN; never post more than you feel able to give. you need to be able to say to yourself 'I gave it a go'- which for me would matter becuase 'I saw it but didn't respond, and now I read X in the local rag....' would be far, far worse. If you feel vulnerable then you should not post- but whilst MN doesn't and rightly so recognise training opr experience, those of us who know we have counselling training Psych experience or whatever can still pop our eads over the parapet if needed. It's self regualtion.

I really don't get why this upsets people so much.

People talk on the internet for a myriad of reasons but mostly because for some reason they are not able to do so in RL.

I have suffered from depression and whilst I have never really reached out on here, I can imagine doing so. If I did it would be because at that moment in time, RL seemed completely unable to help me and I just wanted someone to be there for me. I would not expect you lot to "fix it" for me but to provide the support of a virtual community.

I would find being referred back to RL unhelpful in the extreme and deleting the thread or changing the title would only make me feel worse.

I understand the concerns of those who offer help on such threads that it may all go terribly wrong. You are not responsible for the OP and should only give what you are able to cope with the consequences of giving. We are all quick to condemn a "nanny state" in RL where we are insulated from every potential risk. I think we should be equally cautious of doing this in VL - it devalues the community that we have formed here.

ok, professionally then, what do you consider to be the prevailing risks in allowing such support to be sought and found in this manner and to what extent are they negated by the reality of a person receiving no support at all if this route is closed?

You can give all the numbers you want but you an't make anyone use them if they don't feel they are worth that call

Whereas having someone- anyone- to 'talk' to or even just acknowledge that you exist may well be that bridging gap.

With DH, he ahd me- and that probably was all that saved him from death. Goodness I am no Psych but I ahve talkd him down more than I dare to recollect. And it's not the words, but the persistence. And the end of isolation.

Posting into the void and being deleted would IMO be awful.

There's a beleif that people who threaten don't do; it is categorically wrong.

My real concern with these posts is the randomness of who responds- DH revcalls being in NY and watching someone kill themselves to chants of 'jump, jump'. there's nothing tos top those same arseholes being on MN.

Wannabe, if it is the same poster again and again (and HQ will be able to check that) then you may have a point, if it is a one off then how do you know if you are "enabling" (they may go to a different site each time or somthing) or if it is a real turning point for the poster?

WRT what happens if it all goes wrong, well that comes back to personal responsibility really, if someone posts on a suicide thread then they shoudl be aware of the options for how it will turn out and, hopefully, they should be able to say "ok, it went wrong but I gave it my best shot, what a shame it was not enough this time". If they cannot do that the they should not be posting on it really, as adults posters who choose to involve can make decisions for themsleves about what they can/cannot handle!

SYNT, when you say you are not saying that people should be ignored or dismissed.... I don't see how that can sit with a deleting policy, isn't that in itself dismissing them (from the board at least) and ignoring them (beyond an email from HQ)? This is a genuine Q, I am interested to understand how you see it?

i mean, it's your opinion but are you hearing what is being said by those with direct or personal experience?

seeyounexttuesday, was that the case when you last felt suicidally low then?

Think Norks said what I wanted to but better.

Posting on here is the start of the process to get help.

Agree with thedollshouse, this thread title is inappropriate.

I don't think it's inappropriate at all, and in fact I think the more open discussion about these matters the better.

Perhaps if my bro had spoken openly about it he might still be around today.

which is more detrimental a bit of poor advice mixed with lots of good support form other posters or no advice or support at all?

whilst some people post 'the wrong thing. i.e. guilt inducing comments in a bid to get the suicidal poster to 'see sense', nobody is going to post 'hey do it then if you feel that crap about yourself' are they? Not here anyway, though I've seen it elsewhere, admittedly.

I find this thread distasteful. I'm sure you didn't mean to do any harm OP but I am concerned that the poster who posted the thread about suicidial thoughts could feel even worse if she read this thread.

I don't read or post on the suicide threads because I don't feel qualified to give advice and don't want to make things worse. If someone is feeling that low surely they should be able to post their thoughts on MN? It might be upsetting to read the thread title but you don't have to read the thread.

Not particularly about todays posts but....

many years ago I sat waiting for the police to find DH who had gone missing and called to say he was going to kill himself (he didn't, he was seriosuly ill though with MH issues). I didn't need MH support, but the post running on MN whilst I waited got me through that terrible few houurs.

So whilst qualified by nature of the posting, I think YABU

My DM committed suicide, I personally would have hated it if she had come onto a board like this, explained how low she was, in search of someone to offload to and the thread was deleted because she had felt she could talk to someone.

For many, including me being able to come onto an anonymous site and offload when you cannot do that in real life for whatever reason is incredibly important.

It may make the person feel that they would not be judged when talking to others in RL or give them the strength to approach a more appropriate service.

Whilst I agree that a bunch of strangers with no medical or psychological training in such matters is not the best place for someone to seek help, it is a start in the process of opening up.

I for one would hate to see any attept of someone talking through their problems instantly wiped from the boards

god my i handed typing is now turning into 1 brain cell typing, sorry for duncey posts

Do they wannaBe? I reported a post once where I believed the poster's children might be at risk (not a suicidal post) and got a response back from HQ saying that they were aware of the thread but there was nothing they could do. I don't think I ever gave my address when I registered. Do you mean email address? Not really appropriate for the sort of thing I was reporting I thought.

I find self-harm threads very scary but I wouldn't like to see them disappear as a matter of policy. When I have felt somewhere in that order of down, I rang the Samaritans several times but was unable to speak - saying the words out loud to a real person was too hard. Typing silently is easier.

that is to say, the only help I would offer would be links to people who are better qualified to help.

yes support telephone lines have a support system in place, we don't
maybe we need a 'i have helped a mnetter in need' support topic