What do you do when you think someone is taking the piss

Sometimes it's fairly obvious that someone is genuine. Other times it isn't.

perhaps there should be some kind of system whereby a red flag is raised on the thread in question, without being seen by the OP, so that anyone who reads and wants to post is alerted that there are suspicions and therefore that they ought to exercise caution. If the OP can't see it it can't put them off and nobody need say a word on the thread.

I am not sure this is really feasible though...

psycho - I tried to warn on the other thread that some people were getting emotionally involved. You have posters saying they couldnt sleep that night, others shedding a tear for the OP. Others racing to MN in the morning begging for an update. I was shot down, so admit I have becomne rather silly with my posting over there. BUT you are dead right, people do get involved. If the OP was genuine and had posted under her usual name as she said she has, I am sure none of this would have happened.

There is nothing wrong with being supportive and I am all for it. BUT something fishy about this one, and glad i was not the only person to think this.

FBG - you are welcome and wanted to also add that your story is very sad but it has always been the same story, no added extras for drama along the way and with my intuition I just know you are genuinely who you say you are.

Psycho I am so sorry that you felt that way

At the time I was afraid of being cruel or shouted down for voicing suspicions - now I wish I had done so.

See it can work both ways.

Maybe it is just someone who is desperately lonely and has gone about this for attention rather than just come on as herself and ask for help for the real issue?Sad whichever it is

Maybe it is just someone who is desperately lonely and has gone about this for attention rather than just come on as herself and ask for help for the real issue?Sad whichever it is

from the point of view of someone who has been accused of trollery under a different nickname, I will just say this: Being called a troll didn't put me off, because I AM a regular, my question was genuine and I knew I was doing/meaning no harm.

I kept plugging away trying to prove I was Ok and eventually got some useful responses.
I don't know if others believed me or not, but i wasn't upset by being accused, because I had nothing to feel bad about iyswim.

In a situation where my life was at risk however I'd probably be so desperate for advice that I'd take any offered and ignore any shouts of troll. There was HEAPS of support on that thread, heaps of information and advice as well. There will always be people who care about the OP and believe her. Just as there will be those who don't believe it for whatever reason. So I do feel in a way that it might be better to allow self moderation rather than banish all dissenters iyswim.

Has anyone here started a desperate thread in a time of great need, and felt unable to continue posting because of minor suspicions raised by a few people? That would be helpful to know. My 'troll' thread wasn't exactly desperate so not quite the same.

Sorry..I have been part of the thread in question...may I ask, who is cvq ? What did she do ?

nope, not batting anything

pmsl - love it.

rhubarb is right. it is ok saying to contact MNHQ, that is the right way to go, but how do you warn the people who, like rhubarb has pointed out, want to go meet her, help her, give her contact details. they need warning in some way too just in case.......I wish people had been more open to me last year about their suspicions. some were, but many many more admitted it after the fact that they were suspicious. from my own perspective, I wish more had been more obvious with their suspicions before she managed to use me the way she did.

this thread is ideal...........it was not saying anything on 'that' thread (altho posters did go over later to voice suspicions), and her name is still not mentioned on here......in fact, we are really only discussing CVQ all over again.

poopscoop, sometimes it is better to travel alone than badly accompanied...

Are you not batting an eyelid then?

Trouble is Justine, people go beyong just offering support and help. There were people ready to jump into their cars and go to help - where would they be going? That could have potentially dangerous consequences. Others have contacted her through CAT and will now, no doubt, be contacting her privately through email. So what if a meeting is set up, who are they meeting?

I agree that it's not nice to troll hunt, that suspicions should be raised with MNHQ and I think I said that on this very thread. But when you see people offering to drive there, sharing their email addresses, you become concerned for those people.

If you raise your concerns, at least you've given people a heads up and they might think twice before arranging a meeting. Whereas if no-one says anything, then it is generally presumed to be genuine and as we can see today, the thread is still there. So either it is genuine, or you are still investigating it.

Either way I think those people who are contacting her right now need to know.

deadly serious - it was in the Times.

Not clicking.

very true NF - In fact I read an article on this earlier and think it sadly says it all really

here

I agree Greeny and Justine, however it's a bit more tricky when someone feels upset at having given so much of themself and then finding out it wasn't genuine

The answer to this must sadly be always to keep in mind that it MIGHT not be genuine, and thus only give what you can afford to lose...a bit like ebay really

So in a paradox, the best way is perhaps to keep a sceptical mindset to some degree but still offer support on the thread.

"waste my sympathy and risk feeling a bit of a tit"

As long as that's all you are wasting, that's fine. I do worry when people offer to help out in real life when they've 'known' a poster only a few days. Great in theory if someone needs a lift in a car to get away from violence, but best not to help someone retrieve "their things" when their ex has locked them out of the house.

I have to say that CVQ helped me once on a thread. Which I am grateful for.

I'm sorry for her whoever she is - to feel the need to do this sort of thing, well it can't be much of a life.

FBG, i must admit that when i saw your name more and more i did go a little bit but saw you mention your other name on another thread and others knew who your were so relaxed my

I tend to assume they are not taking the piss even if I suspect they might be

I would rather waste my sympathy and risk feeling a bit of a tit than hurt/invalidate the feelings of somebody who is seeking compassionate advice