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MNHQ

Tell us your favourite children's joke/s and you could win £150 in vouchers for the store of your choice

67 replies

carriemumsnet · 08/06/2009 12:15

Kinder mini treats have asked us to help the find Britain's best children's jokes. The jokes should be suitable for children aged under 11 (nothing too rude please ) and we're dividing them into three categories, knock knock, animal and teacher/parent jokes - hope that gives everyone enough leeway .

Once we've collected the jokes, Kinder will be whittling them down to the top 5 in each category and then we'll be asking you to ask your child/ren to vote for their favourite (with another £150 up for grabs then).

Everyone who sends in a joke (ideally one in each category) will be entered into a prize draw to win £150 of vouchers for a store of your choice.

You can send in your jokes here

Thanks and good luck.

MNHQ

OP posts:
latermater · 09/06/2009 22:00

What's the fastest cake?

Scone....

4 yr old ds' favourite

mollyroger · 09/06/2009 21:50

What's pink and wrinkly and belongs to grandad?

Grandma

MissGreatBritain · 09/06/2009 19:45

Teacher:
What's E.T. short for?

Pupil:
Cos he's only got little legs.

MNHQ
carriemumsnet · 09/06/2009 13:38

MN towers giggling away here - hope you've posted all the (suitable ) jokes in the joke collection depot

The parent teacher jokes are basically anything with a school/teacher, mum or dad in them, but feel free to improvise eg a teacher said what do you call a dustbin lorry - pupil rubbish... etc... as it would be a shame not to have some of these in there, keep them coming. They're going to choose a top 5 in the next couple of days and we should be voting for the best by the end of the week.

Thanks all

OP posts:
skay · 09/06/2009 11:27

DS like this one.

Knock, knock
who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
Oh you do know me then!!

I like this one of his:

What's Doctor Who's favourite food?

Dalek Bread

fruitshootsandheaves · 09/06/2009 10:30

This one is a bit too rude to enter

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass

Swedes · 09/06/2009 09:57

What's the similarity between a walrus and a tupperware box?

They both like a tight seal.

mrsruffallo · 09/06/2009 08:42

I love the silly crossing the road ones!
DS3 loves them too.
His fave at the moment is;
Why did the pigeon cross the road?
Because he wanted to do a poo-poo
Despite telling it a hundred times,he still finds it hilarious

canella · 09/06/2009 08:33

doesnt fit in any of the categories!

why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9!!!

My dd's favourite joke!!!

CrochetDiva · 09/06/2009 08:15

These are ds's favourite jokes - he's 6.

Animal joke

-What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
-A Do-you-think-he-saw-us

(cue hysterical laughter by 6 year old)

Knock knock

-Knock Knock!
-Who's there?
-I smell up
-I smell up who

(small boy now rolling around the floor)

Swedes · 09/06/2009 06:58

What do you call two rows of cabbages?

A dual cabbage way.

MrsWeasley · 08/06/2009 23:24

how many times can we enter?
DS will keep the jokes coming until the PC crashes

Swedes · 08/06/2009 22:39
LupusinaLlamasuit · 08/06/2009 22:16

Love these. DH and I have just cried at the monkey/chainsaw one. That can NOT be a kids joke, surely

Keep posting them here anyway!

What do you call a gorilla with a sausage in each ear?

Anything you like he can't hear you.

What do you call a gorilla with jelly in onr ear and custard in the other?

A trifle deaf

kid · 08/06/2009 21:23

When my sister was about 3, she used to tell us the most stupid jokes ever.
Something like
'What do you get with x,r and p?'
'Jelly on a plate!'

She used to crack up so it must be funny to a 3 year old lol

Housemum · 08/06/2009 20:59

Rhubarb - glad your DS's jokes are as bad as my DD's - We have, "why did the car cross the road? To get a haircut" and any number of Knock knock variations that don't make sense.

Rhubarb · 08/06/2009 20:46

Why does a bear have a fur coat?

Because he looks silly in a raincoat.

Or, my personal favourite courtesy of ds, 5.

Why did the rabbit cross the road?

Because he wanted some chips!

I know it makes no sense, but he thinks it's hilarious!

abermum · 08/06/2009 19:57

What do you call a three legged donkey?

a wonky!

What do you call a three legged, one eyed donkey?

a winky wonky!!

Seriously 4 year olds and very stoned people find it hilarious

Greensleeves · 08/06/2009 19:38

A man lives on the tenth floor of a tower block and every day he takes the lift down to the bottom to go to work. When he comes home he takes the lift to the fifth floor and then walks the rest of the way. Why?

Because he's not tall enough to reach the number 10 button

Sorry, they're awful, but ds1 thinks they're funny

Greensleeves · 08/06/2009 19:36

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk

Greensleeves · 08/06/2009 19:35

What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper

courtesy of ds1

Hulababy · 08/06/2009 19:33

DD has done it. They are bad!

MoreSpamThanGlam · 08/06/2009 19:22

My kids like it when their Grandad always asks in restaurants for tigers balls on toast...then when the waiter says they dont have it he asks if they have run out of bread...

LilRedWG · 08/06/2009 18:54

What has a trunk, two grey legs and two brown legs?

An elephant with diarrhoea.

My nephew loves it.

PavlovtheCat · 08/06/2009 18:35

So, where do you put the joke which has had me in stitches more times than any other I can recall but which is vegetation based? Its clearly not an animal, but it cannot be left out. It would be wrong! So, I shall await a reply