Elizabeth Adeney the 66yr old having a baby. The Sun Telegraph want to know what Mumsnetters think

i spent way too long bowling to ds. Then i read that some England cricketer attributes his sucees to his mum bowling with one arm holding a baby in another.. that is me!

oh BALDY

becuase she is the worlds worst mummy

dur brain

no-one is talking about enforced sterilisation or an arbitary cut off , but trying to see if tehre should be a boundary around the time a woman would naturally be menopausal.

if you are 45, fertile and able to conceive, go for it.

but teh NHS cannot fund unlimited IVF for all without any upper age limit

the fact this woman oculd bypass the NHS does not necesarily make it right, but as i said before, i thikn there are many, many shades of grey

the toll pregnancy and birth and the early days with a baby takes on a woman in her 60s will surely be different to a woman in her 20s?

why would you not want to have a kickaround with your child? blimey

It's a difficult one but I think that menopause should be the cut off for IVF since it's a clear indicator that your body can't/doesn't want to sustain any more pregnancies. For those unfortunate people who suffer early menopause perhaps taking an average menopausal age would work. A bit of a moral dilemma isn't it. 66 is way too old IMO though.

I think there is a valid point to be made about societies finite resources being used for this kind of personal choice activity, and indeed within those constraints, a pragmatic cut off point is sensible. We can't all have the things we want, and expect others the pick up the tab., if the statistical chances of success are extremely small.

If however, it is self-financed, I can't see how there can be an ethical or moral objection. If I had a child now, I could reasonably expect to live to my mid-eighties, and my child would be 40 when I died. Grown up enough to cope, I should think.

And the quality of their earlier years would surely depend on my parenting, not my age? I have an 8 year old now. I have no intention of ever kicking a ball around with him, and he would be mortified if I tried. He does however have a rich and active life.

I think it is very unfair on the child and to be honest selfish of the mother.
Just because we are trying to have equal rights for women, doesn't mean that babies should have to suffer.

WWM - If you were answering my posts, my point was I have no problem with women conceiving naturally at any age. It is having help in your 60s which is wrong imo. What have you been doing for the last 20-30 years to leave it until then to seek help? I never said you shouldn't be allowed to naturally* conceive over 40!

Will you try for another baby?

I don't think men or women should have babies when they're in their 60's - i don't think its fair on the children or them.

So for me i guess the cut-off would be around 50.

I don't think that men should be elderly either.

Men can have babies pretty much all their lives, if the technology is there to enable it then why shouldn't women get to do the same thing? Seems pretty sexist to suggest otherwise IMO.

I personally wouldn't want to do it, but who am I to dictate how other people live their lives.

I think you haev to think of the kids when you have a baby. If i was utterly broke I personally wouldnt have had one, and wouldnt have had more than one if I worked very long hours or was away a lot. SO to that end i wasnt selfish.
I knew i had to be able to do what I precieved to be a good job.

I don't think you can put a cover-all age limit on these things. I'm 37 and completely knackered by DD, this woman might be far more energetic. We don't know what her back up system is like. The 21 year old down the road may have less support. There is always the possibility of a parent dying. Equally, DH's grandmother is 96 this year. She would have seen a child well into adulthood. I think it has to be a case by case decision.

And it does annoy me that the likes of Des O'Connor can parade their aged fertility when a woman considerably younger than him is slated. As applies to a lot of things, just because men possibly could father a child at 90, doesn't meant they should.

I think it is selfish-at that age you should accept that it is not to be and the needs of the DC should come first.
Of course she can cope at the moment-lots of grandparents can cope with a baby-it is 10 or 12 years time that is the problem.
I would have under 50yrs, preferably by 47yrs.

There is a massive difference between a 45 year old, or a 50 year old, and a 66 year old woman. In stark terms of normal life expectancy.

I don't agree that having children is a selfish act. However, using that argument I personally feel that it is infinitely more selfish to have a baby when you are about 16 years older than average menopausal age, with the prospect that just as your child is about to become an adult, free in the world, at 18, you will be 84 (if you are very lucky, given the average age of mortality today). My grandmother is 93. I have seen the stress that her dementia and general incapacity as a result of her exceptional age have had on my mother who is, incidentally, 66.

I am not ranting. I have made reasonable points which you have ignored.

but sit down! stop ranting!

Earlyadopter, Is that how you engage with an alternative viewpoint?

I am passionate about this. We live in a libertarian society, you need to think about the implications of interfering in peoples lives in such an arbitrary way.

Trying to put me down for caring about something deeply and trying to engage in this debate is pretty small minded.

I would have the cut off point at 50 TBH.

When I left home my mum was 45, she was in the prime of her life. I left without a backward glance. The child in question will leave home when her mother is 84 - if she is lucky to live that long. There will be a massive amount of guilt involved in leaving your elderly mother.

I would say the same for older fathers.

alright dear

Indeed I can, so that's me off the hook is it? If I were me as I am in very other way, but needed IVF to conceive now, and i can afford it, that would somehow be wrong? How, morally? ethically? financially? No logic there.

Having children is a selfish act for every single last one of us. So there is no logic in berating these people for being selfish. They are doing what all of us with children have done.