Mumsnet - please can you sort out all the Jade posts?

beanieb - most of the people laying flowers are locals. (i don't live there but visit regularly and recognised lots of local people).

2shoes - i don't think anyone has said that if you are not upset you are a "jadehater".

I am glad that some of those posts were deleted. Why does mumsnet have rules if they are not going to apply them?

this thread is the ideal place to discuss the media and the 'public greiving' yet only one person has posted on it since last night which makes me wonder - do people really want to have the discussion at all?

QuintessentialShadow I think it's fine to criticise the media, though I suspect the time for real criticism is yet to come. So far they have not saturated us with stories, nor have they hounded Jade and her family. I suspect that this is all to come and that's very sad for her kids and her mum.

Perhaps people who are critical need to think a bit more about where they should be being critical? ie not doing it in a thread in which people are clearly just expressing their sympathies. Even though the title might not say 'this is a thread for condolences' I think anyone with any sense can tell when a thread is serving that purpose and so anyone who really doesn't want to go trampling on other people's sadness (however much they think it's misplaced) should really start their own thread to talk about the whole media thing.

Someone did start that threas I think, but it didn't get very far and people still continued to bang on about the media and the fame and the inappropriate grief in the thread where people were expressing sympathy, despite there being another place where they could easily get the whole media 'thing' off their chests.

As you say - you feel it "has become impossible to be seen as offering sympathetic to jade and her family, and at the same time criticise the media and its role in all this" - very likely this is true. However there's a whole other style of posting which has caused all this discussion which is not all about criticising the media but more about (a) trampling all over threads to criticise posters for being mawkish and stupid (b) having a go at jade goody for faking her illness/wearing a gown in pictures/ having make up on etc

ffs now if you don't say omg I am so upset you are a "jade hter" how childish and silly.
imo mn were wrong to delet the posts. in the past they have allowed disgusting posts to stay, the good thing is I suppose I will be able to ask them to treat it as if the people were talking about Jade.
(I don't hate Jade, just the whole media crap she inspired)

Similarly, beanieb, it seems it has become impossible to be seen as offering sympathetic to jade and her family, and at the same time criticise the media and its role in all this. As soon as you voice a critical opinion, you are got at, and seen to be uncaring and unable to understand that a young mother dying is tragic.

Have to say though - I do wonder about the people making a special trip to Jade Goddy's house to leave flowers. That's a bit odd. Unless they know her in which case i would have thought they would send them to the family?

Oh gosh.

I think the whole thing has become so fraught because rather than just give an opinion and then leave it there have been several posters (which I will not be so crass as to name) who have popped up in EVERY thread started to bang on about how crap other people are for feeling sad or sympathetic. Either that or they have been determined to post over an over with suggestions that Jade Goody was somehow faking or orchestrating her situation for fame and money.

I think this has then led to the people who were merely expressing sympathy feeling like they were constantly being got at for just posting that they felt sorry for Jade Goody and her family in these circumstances.

There's also been an awful lot of clashing of personalities (Again - no names mentioned) where people may actually be actively goading other people.

Now it seems those people are all getting terribly upset by the fact that they think they are being censored and that it's not fair that they can't go into threads and start posting about how it's fake or it's crap or it's not fair on them because they know someone who has cancer and they don't see why jade Goody should be getting sympathy when they are dealing with their issues privately and 'with dignity'

Simple fact is that everyone deals with these things differently and jade Goody was already a public figure and so chose to deal with her ilness in a public way. She did so to make money for her children and i don't dount she employed Max Clifford to protect herself and her family as much as possible from a media scrum.

In her situation I would have done the same.

Seeker, you seem a bit upset by the fact that your posts were deleted? I am not sure if I saw them but if they were anything like the stuff I did see and which prompted yet another thread where you were named personally then I am not surprised they were deleted, if only at the request of other posters who thought you were being uneccesarily harsh about the situation Jade Goody found herself in.

Of course.

At the same time, people die. Yesterday two children lost both parents and their grandma in a brutal attack in my neighbourhood. Everybody who loses family or closed ones have a right to mourn. I am sure anybody who has suffered bereavement coming to mumsnet is getting a lot of support. Death is sad, whether it affects a celebrity or your neighbour.

I am not a Jade fan, at all, but I found some of the references to old posts a little tasteless to say the least. I reported one...it was just a little jarring to read something that said, are we finally going to see the back of Jade!??!

At the end of the day it was Mothers Day, this was a young woman with 2 small children and that in itself is really sad. Although the public attention of late has driven me nuts, I can still empathise for the family and see that slating the woman now she's gone is in poor taste.

I think MN did the right thing in deleting threads that didn't support the bereavement of a young mum.

Nobody hates Jade. Nobody is really Anti Jade, either. But people question her motives and her actions in these last weeks of her life. There is nothing wrong about that. She is a public figure, she makes money from being a public figure, it is to be expected.

People question to what extent the activities over the last few weeks have been instigated by Jade, or if everybody has been in a whirlwind of spindoctoring, which even members of the Church and Government seem to have no immunity against.

It is terrifying when PR people and the media becomes this powerful.

Sorry, I am logging off now, youwillbepleasedtosee BUT please try not to argue about such things though.
It's it's it's ..................................... sad.

Anyway, as you were...

Did someone die?

Eh? What? Eh? Don't understand your aside. Don't know what you are on about.

I think I've missed all the stuff where people were horrid about her and mounted personal attacks on her, so if that has happened then yes, that's not nice and no good. I like Seeker's idea. Let's have a Condolence thread, and a Contemporary Culture thread. If we want one. Am sorry for Guad though, that's not nice for you.

I have a feeling that a lot of the recent stuff about Jade is coming out of a feeling of guilt - there are a lot of people who are willing to kick someone down when they are at the top of their own personal tree but when that person falls out of the tree, they will not continue to kick them, but maybe check out they are ok and haven't broken their neck.
Other people would continue to kick them because, regardless of how badly they are hurt, they are still the "same person" as when they were at the top of the tree.

To me, this suggests that some people are more capable of condemning the behaviour rather than the person, and others just see the person as an exemplar of something they despise but can't separate the person from the behaviour.

In the end she has died now and deserves a level of, if not respect, then desistence from the kicking.

I don't really agree that you can't grieve for someone you don't know - I am not grieving the loss of Jade, but I was very sad when Freddy Mercury died. I didn't know him either, but his loss grieved me - such a great artist and I never got to see him live in concert.

No reason other than taste perhaps Seeker?

I'm not an avid fan, nor do i subscribe to the view that Jade deserves all the nasty comments that have been posted about her over the last few days. And i think most of you have to admit that there has been an awful lot of those.

I don't think you can regulate what is said on a public forum but i would hope that most people would have a modicum of respect for the fact that a young woman has died on Mothers day leaving behind two young children and manage to refrain from posting what amounts to personal slurs about that young woman.

It is sad that Jade has died but the way it has unfolded in the news and the 'circus' elements of it are going to be of interest to people too.

I would have liked to have ignored it all, having the same diagnosis less than a year ago makes it a bit close to home, but it's been impossible not to see her face between the baskets and the fruit salad every day in the local shop as well as everywhere else.

I didn't like the thread bumping yesterday though, it made me feel really odd, but then it's hard for me to be objective.

"If you started your own threads about the coverage of her death and your "distaste" for it then fine," really? No-one would come on to the thread and say "ffs the woman has died/some people are upset/"? no-one? Yeah right.

And wtf is "celebrity tradgedy"? does dying somehow have greater meaning if you're a celebrity?

It is not possible to hate someone you don't know. It is possible to hate what they stand for, i.e. a culture where you can grow up with nothing and become a "celebrity" and sell your life to the likes of ok magazine, but not the person.

And equally it is not possible to grieve for someone you don't know.

And as far as I noticed, no one actually did start a thread called "Post your tributes to Jade here" or "Condolence Thread for the Goody family"

The threads were all called "JG has died" or something like that - and I see no reason why a thread with a title like this should be "positive' comments only.

It's not just been threads expressing sadness about her which have been hijacked by those who want to discuss the issue, though, dittany.

Threads which have been started with the express purpose of discussing the issue have also been hijacked by those who wish to express sadness and don't like the idea of discussing it.

It's been back and forth so that every single thread ends up the same. I'm quite happy to just go with the MNHQ sensible decision on the matter, now last nights thread-bumping madness is over, tbh.

A thread about a thread. Wow and I thought this place had changed.

'It's not just about Jade, it's about celebrity tragedy and the way we deal with it:' -

I don't understand what that means, at all. It makes no sense. What is celebrity tragedy?

justabout - there is no such thing as an 'anti' or 'pro' Jade person.

Unless I've missed about 500 threads to the contrary, which I might have done.