MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

X-posts with squonk

Bugger, wish you'd done this when I'd newly joined. So, do I change my name now?

(s'ok dizzy - I have some from the library to be getting on with [the library had three of the suggested authors ])

the 'preview' button is there for a reason.

oh oh and if you are TTC and you fall pregnant you have to tell Lulu first

its the law

be their best mate... (sorry - should have previewed)

always preview your posts, it saves embarrassment when you read it back after you've posted it and have to make an unsightly amendment in a later post

oh lordy Squonk - forgot about that book sorry

will check when back later - school run/shop/sports class and all that pap

apologies again, clean went out my mind

feel free to introduce yourself to us - it is always nice when people start a thread explaining who they are and how they found us (but don't expect us to remember you on any other thread...)

If you get into a ruck with someone, leave it at the thread door, it is more than possible to be falling out with a poster on one thread and their best mate on another thread

If you get a bit overwhelmed, places like the tea shop, the sanctuary and the word game are a good place to start off and find your feet.

Don't be frightened to ask how things are done, if you don't know something, there are always tons of posters more than happy to point you in the right direction and nobody will laugh at you, we were all new once

DO remember that you are just looking at words on the screen......sticks and stones and all that.

Quite right too, Ria

god thats a whole lot of DON'Ts

lets have some DOs

do look about and make yourself at home
do remember people on here have known each other for a long time so if you don't understand a wee 'chat' in the middle of a thread don't worry about it (am aware thats a do and a don't in one!!)

do appreciate this site for what it is - a mine of information from people who can help

dont start a thread about a celebrity in 'in the news' this might offend

celebrity stories MUST i am told - be in 'sleb gossip'

And if you do think you are pregnant, but are unable to get out to buy a test, use this one.

Don't link to a distressing news story without warning of it's content.

Dont' come on in a blind panic asking us if we think you might be pregnant

We don't actually live in your uterus

buy a fecking test

Baby names: either don't post at all or, if you do, expect to receive replies like "Oh don't call her Mary. I knew someone at school called Mary and she was a bitch".

If you are a WOHM posting about some crisis to do with nanny / nursery etc, you can be guaranteed that within about 15 posts someone will come along and say
"if you're that worried, why don't you give up work and stay at home"

or
"why did you bother to have children"

sure as eggs is eggs.....

dont bother telling us you have a 'secret'

just keep it to yourself thanks

No matter how 'Reasonable' you and the majority of the population think you are, there will be at least 6 people who think YABVVU.

I don't like those "Hi I'm new let me introduce myself" threads.

Don't be so needy, just jump right in.

Also: don't flounce. Just piss off.

Keep competitive sadding to a mininum.

Don't post messages that consist entirely of emoticons e.g.

then disappear for an hour

I'd never used any sort of chat forum before MN. I was too stupid to realise that you don't hijack threads, you start one of your own. I wanted advice re my wayward teenage DD, spotted a thread about a wayward teenage DD and just leapt in there with my own woes. And I've seen other people make the same mistake - it seems blindingly obvious now, but it really isn't if you're new to this forum lark. So that's something that may need pointing out (preferably in words of one syllable).

Yes they always over react regarding illness

don't post that your child has a snuffle at 11pm on a sunday unless you want 300 mumsnetters telling you to 'call a doctor NOW'