MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

don't just type 'bump' on your thread without acknowledging advice posted on it. so fucking rude.

don't talk about being 'flamed' when people are merely disagreeing with you.

don't expect anybody to remember anything about you. you are one of many...

Oh and never, ever slag off your best mate whilst recommending MN as a great parenting site. She will find your posts.

I'd say, get to know people before you judge them. There are so many people I first encountered and thought 'oo-er' but changed my opinion over the course of a few weeks/ months. People have many sides.

Also don't write cryptic threads and expect everyone to go 'Oh no what happened??' for 20 posts before you let another snippet of info out. I could cheerfully murder people who do that.

If possible employ a house keeper because once your on here you never have time to do as much house work as before.

Dizzy you've been busy on here.

Make sure you don't people with similar names mixed up.

And please don't repeat what has been said in the Daily Mail as if it is God's honest truth or has any relationship to a normal person's perspective.

About anything.

If you're going to post about TV (or radio or films etc), don't put spoilers in the thread title, but do say "Spoiler alert" or "Last night's plot" to warn people who have saved the episode and not watched it yet. Whatever happens do not make the title "OMG I can't believe they killed off Fred!" or anything similar, or you will be lynched by lots of people who otherwise might well have been your friends.

Boco - that's what I was going to post but couldn't think how to word it.

Very bad form to stalk another poster, or check back on all their previous posts and re-quote them back to them, or use them to batter them with.

In a similar vein - don't ever use info on mumsnet to try and "out" a person in real life.

Oh yes - and don't try solving international crime with just google and your unfailing intuition.

Good one BIWI

Whenever there is a particularly shocking news event about a child, e.g. Madeleine McCann or Baby P, please make sure your posts are restrained and avoid ghoulishly picking over the bones of the story and speculating wildly about what happened and who did what.

(yes, doodle, that was the one I looked at too )

I was just coming back on here to say the same thing, doodle!

Put what you actually want to say in the thread title, then only people who are interested can click on it.

It's very frustrating to click on a thread that you neither know nor care about because it looked like it may be interesting

like this one....aaaagggghhh

Be very nice to anyone who has 'mumsnet' in their posting name

DO NOT leave thread titles hanging, to try and entice posters to open them:-

Today, I........

it hacks me orf!

Preview you posts for typos

Swearing is fine, but not in thread titles.
Talking about stocking fillers and not believing in Santa is fine, but not in thread titles.

Jump in, don't take it personally if you are ignored.

Use the 'search' facility. It is ever so, ever so useful.

Don't let it take over your life to you can't sleep at night.

X-post squeaver

But makes you realise what a supportive and lovely bunch we are (generally).. Especially if your first taste of mnet is AIBU threads {shudder}

Don't ask about moldies. You'll never get a straight answer. Just accept it is one of those things you'll never understand, like the theory of relativity.

Just to find your feet go to Mumsnet Classics. ROFL your head off, then go back to it every now and again to remind yourself why you came on here in the first place. Particularly at Moldie or Coddy moments.

Good idea Attilla. Actually a quick read through Mumsnet classics will teach you a lot (and deprive you of hours and hours of time!)

do spend some time looking through threads to help you see the best/worst/funniest sides of Mumsnet.

If you want an instant pick me up read threads connected to the Christmas MNet gift swap thingy or random acts of kindness.

do remember that people (mostly) want to help and most of the time someone will be able to answer your query or point you in the right direction.