MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

Please don't post a flounce after your first week saying 'oh nobody listens to me, everybody ignores me, I'm off'.

And especially not if you wish to add 'and you're a nest of vipers'.

If you get ignored when you're new, you just need to become addicted post more, like the rest of us. And remember how many posters there are on MN.

Don't get upset if you are never on one of the "The MNetter I heart most" threads

Hmmpf

Not that I look, or anything.

don't hold back now Karl

It is real advice, saves them getting jumped on for making "yawnsome greggs gags"

We really need a rolleyes emote.

A better bit of advice ignore people like KarlWrenbury. Some people think they are MN best to just ignore them.

WHY do people use
x at the end of things?

why?
Because they are thick.

When you are making a statement don't put a question mark at the end of it. (As in 'Don't post on AIBU unless you want to hear that you are?')

Yep -have it wrong! apostrophes

oh dear, I missed a * in that, but you know what I meant

If you are going to post on AIBU then develop a thick skin, extremely quickly.

Don't be offended if you aren't immediately in the so called "clique," like making friends everywhere else, it takes time!

No Mummy3884949458 names

Don't be surprised if you get a flaming and don't let it stop you posting. MNetters can be a bit forthright at times. Get over it and jump back in.

Use paragraphs otherwise noone will read your fascinating posts.

Don't put "lol" at the end of every sentence.

No xxxx kisses

STOP using
those things all the time.
they are to be rationed

I really don't like c*t in any thread titles

PLEASE do NOT be common. I think there is a special quarantine room to sort this out.

do not use the following words:
Blaze
Nan
dp ( oh get married fgs)
Lo
or any other

Oh that is just me.

develop a thicker skin and say goodbye to life as you knew it

Expect to be ignored!

mariachi band v good

Use the 'search for messages' option before you ask a question that you think may have been asked before.
"how to get my baby into a sleeping routine" anyone?

no being boring and knocking Boden - it's too easy
The use of 'tis is rather sweet and MNettish
hugs are permitted but not to be overused - I think they are appropriate in Bereavement threads

Links and smleys don't work in thread titles

Some topics have been done to death on here -if you are unlucky to inadvertently make one the subject of your lovingly crafted first post please don't be put off if you're ignored or flamed. We're not bored with you (yet) but we are bored of the subject.

The pedants will get you if you're a bit random with your apostrohes

please please please no text type like

l8r etc

I don't mind lol and some abbreviations but I seem to hate ones that are there through sheer laziness

Try to use paragraphs, even if you feel you are trying to say it all in one breath before you lose your nerve.

Definitely DON'T SHOUT!

AIBU could just as easily be called "No Holds Barred" - don't expect people to provide gentle sympathy, you will get their uneditted opinion.

If you have asked a question, and had replies, don't then come back on and say "bump" or "anyone else" without saying "thank you" first, even if they haven't completely answered your question, or you still want other opinions.

oh don't give yourself a wanky name.
I saw one on here called "lovetochat"
Dont call your kids LOS.
It makes then sound like a maricachi band.

don't panic about the abbreviations - soon dh and dd and ds will be so familiar you'll be using them in RL (that's real life btw)

When you write your first post be more specific on the title than "help needed please"...

Not that I did that on my first post or anything

Agree - no capitals as you feel shouted at.

Minimum hugs.

No huns.

No 'f' words in thread titles.

Use paragraphs if you want people to read your whole thread.

Try and use a name that defines you rather than ReubensMum or DannysMum as it is a bit - bleurgh!!