Dear MNHQ, I didn't see all the problems kick off over poor Revjustabout...

and I don't believe for a minute that it is a "mouldies conspiracy"

It is like when an MNer posts a link to netmums and a few people rush over and behave badly dispense advice.

It may have originated on MSN, or email, but it did look organised

... godsrepresentativeonearth?
....whatwouldjesusdo?
.... thegospeltruth?

THing is, Tortoise, the person who killed himself did so because he was mentally ill. Whether the person he thought was a vicar really was a vicar, or was in fact a junior verger or the bloke who had come to empty the bins, was irrelevant. If it was a vicar, s/he might have been a rubbish vicar, however qualified, and said the wrong thing.
Or might have said what the leading mental health expert in the world would have said in that situation, and the man would still have killed himself. Mental health care is not a precise science.
As I have said before, WRT to revjustabout, I have no objective concrete proof that she is an ordained deacon. I don't doubt her because I have no reason to. Because TBH it's irrelevant to me as an atheist if she wants to call herself the Pope.
What is far more important is I have never seen her post anything which I would call harmful advice. SHe comes across as kind, fair, and ethical - that she believes in something I consider a lot of old cock is not something I hold against her - people like her give the religious a good name.

i think the way the rev was treated was nasty, and i think the women concerned should apologise because they were WRONG. and i also think that she shouldn't change her name. or if she does, she should change it to TheMadre.

ruty he doesn't have to pretend anything

he's there for himself and i'm sure wouldn't do anything to bring the church into disrepute

and he's a priest, not a vicar

Aitch - I haven't been on the mouldies threads maybe 2 posts?).

a bit meh about the whole thing, never was a popular girl

but I think the way rev was treated was nasty

reminded me of my one experience of bullying at school

that's how i saw it, dittany, the dog collar thing. except i hadn't really noticed the dog collar until people started accusing her of being a troll.

it is funny. it is a conceit. On the RW thread 'rev' goes about fretting about the empty church or finding us pews or handing out biscuits or fiddling with the broken heating. It is fun. But no, it has to be faceless and joyless because...well I'm still not quite sure of because...I really think it is odd to be so disapproving when you've no idea what the RW threads are about.

i wouldn't believe them either, cf. but i wouldn't accept the 'ganged up' thing either, tbh, i doubt it was like that.

onebat, i'm sorry that you thought i accused you of something, i'm not sure i did, though. i did, if you note, just include myself in the familiar names speaking on the subject and suggest i was the pot calling the kettle black. and i shrugged. so i'm not hurling accusations, i was just musing and putting something out there, that's all.

Agree, dittany. And I've never seen the rev dispensing spiritual advice either. I am utterly bewildered that anyone could think that any of this horrible episode is in any way her fault.

but bundle would your vicar conceal his professional identity at a party so as not to lead on the vulnerable? or because he might say something out of line with the Official Church?

well said combustible

But, isn't it like, supposing www was a fitness coach, instead of having 'www's 10 Years Younger' thread, having 'Fitness Coach WWW's 10 Years Younger' thread which feels more 'official' - either official in terms of 'sanctioned by MN' or in terms of 'sanctioned by Fitness Coaches R Us' or whatever the equivalent would be. Or 'BFC Tiktok's BFing thead'.

my priest doesn't come to parties/social events in his dog collar! what planet are you living on?

Established the rev's credentials
Deleted the offending posts
Told Rev to change her identity so's not to bring it upon herself.
Said that Rev was a deacon not a reverend.
Didn't correct that misconception.
Failed to -at the very least, tell off - poster who admitted she had no idea whether the REv's relatives died in Auschwitz, but accused her of lying about it anyway.
Said we disapprove of public outing threads
Warned against the dangers of Moldie raids

That's my understanding of it.

Quite.

When SGB is defending someone's right to be 'rev' I think you can safely say that they're a decent poster who's been treated unfairly.

poor justine. i do wuv her. even when i think she;s not completely right.

but aitch, if it's the same people that's because they are the mners who posted (at ridiculous length) their feelings about the whole moldiegate hooha in the new year.... they are the people who MINDED about the whole thing and prophesied it would all end in tears / lead to more upset and grief..... and they are posting on this thread now because this IS linked to the whole issue of moldies (imo). unlike the moldies who ganged up on the rev we have posted views and feelings about moldies on her fo all (including moldies) to read.... and if anyone was to tell me the rev hasd not been discussed on mouldies the i, for one, would simply not believe them.....

I haven't mentioned Moldies the group except for once, Aitch, in response to one of them saying that PPH et al were being bullied or somesuch.

I'm here because I think it's crap what's happened to Rev, whom I know and admire.

I can be 'meh' about moldies, and also 'gah' about shit like this at the same time you know. They aren't causal. It's a bit low, imo, to suggest that they are.

it is a superb ruck name!!!

and i love percypiglets.

Yeah, but you haven't just done that Justine, you have also asked Rev to change her name, as you have said this may cause issues. Issues which weren't there before the attacks, and which therefore makes it look like she has been doing something inappropriate and the attacks had a legitimate basis.

I've siad this already. You've answered. Unsatisfactorily because Rev is still left looking chatised.

Maybe she should have waited like you suggested. But maybe she is so hurt and pissd off with the implication of your request/suggestion that she didn't give a toss, or just wanted everyone to know what had gone on.

This 'we talked about why she may have caused such controversery' line is the most suspect of your arguemnts I have to say, that is exactly what all the analogies about focusing on the victims have been saying, and you have stated that is what you did.

Rev didn't do anything, some posters had their own nasty agendas. You are confusing the two here I think, to dangerous effect.

Really I think your reasoning on this is muddled and inconsistent, and unfortunately that has resulted in looking like a condonment of bullying.