What do you need to know/wish you'd known about divorce?

You better run Rev.

God no VT, not offended at all. You'd have to call me a bad shag to do that.

I came on this thread, not because I need to know anything about divorce, but to say I think MNers need to know about Family Mediation services. Having seen OP, I'll bugger off

Course i know thats not all you do Puzzle (hope i didnt offend you)

I only noticed because you bumped one of my threads fo me too

I agree with peanutbear and Swedes has some great thoughts there too.

You can do a DIY divorce which is quite cheap and reletively easy.
If you have kids involved and/or money, then you may need legal advice if it's not a friendly split.

Why thank you birdie.

puzzle came up with some cracking ideas for the book pictures

VT - It's not all I do. I can waffle and throw buns with the best of em too.

I have been divorced and I do think it makes things easier if things are dealt with as swiftly as possible rather than prolonging the situation.

I haven't divorced, but my partner has.

The very best decision we ever took was to live extremely close to my DP's former wife's home. I cannot overstate how greatly this reduces the complexity for the boys of having two homes and means that they see plenty of both parents in a real home situation.

I think this is a brilliant idea.

I wish Solicitors would not insist that the party they are representing does not move out of the family home, even when both parties find that desirable. It leads to acrimony and further upset to all concerned.

I wish solicitors would invite the other party and their legal representative to a meeting to see whether the basis of an agreement can be reached very early on in the proceedings. There should be more of a feeling that they are all working together to find a solution that is fair to all parties and children. Rather than an our side versus your side adversarial arrangement.

I think the law should be changed so that martrimonial assets are valued as of the date at separation - like the Scottish system. I know lots of people who have run up huge debts after separation. Especially if there is a younger woman and a mid life crisis involved.

If a couple is still fighting over how to split the assets. How about the asset is placed into trust for the benefit of the children so that neither of the greedies gets it. That should focus negeotiations.

I think people should be told that if they find the other party's solicitor's tone agressive or upsetting they should return their letters unopened. But they should be told they must deal with correspondence from the court.

It surely can not be difficult for an actuary or someone like that to look at the finances and decide what formula is fair and if a party thinks it is not fair and wants to go to court then they should be penalised later if the actuary's calculation was broadly fair. Ancillary relief proceedings are unnecessarily complex.

What are the ground rules for financial settlements (or are there none?)
How to find a solicitor who will to achieve an agreed settlement which is in the interests of the children
What happens when there is income or asset disparity, particularly when the mother is the wealthier?

puzzlerocks, do you just go around bumping threads?

Arent you considerate

the best solicitors

how not to fight over inconsequential things that end up costing more in solicitors fees than the item !!!

exactly what my rights were in non legalese

actually I had loads of questions so ill be back on later !!

Bumping for you.