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STILL need to talk mouldie?

594 replies

algyfromthepub · 06/01/2009 21:27

ha! tell bob i'm here.

OP posts:
Ukranianbarmaid · 07/01/2009 21:25

Gerry can vouch for my credentials Officer

maggiethemoodycook · 07/01/2009 21:25

we're very pc here....hahahahaha

maggiethemoodycook · 07/01/2009 21:24

or you could enter our freddie lookalikey contest...the winner gets to shag me...or golfinggerry, depending on your persuasions..

localbobbyonbeat · 07/01/2009 21:23

Stand aside Maggie ive heard about your dodgy food and the whereabouts of plasters.

We had reports for some time now, can I see your credentials please ukranianbarmaid?

AND WHILE WE AT IT - Who is looking after your children, its worse than i thought.

Gerry I am placing you under arrest for crimes against the regulars - you should have known better to go up to the golf club.

Onebatmother - whats your business in this pub? Hope that is not your kids still play area at this time of night.

allnewcontrolfreaky · 07/01/2009 21:22

localbooby. are you related to bobbingbob at all?

allnewcontrolfreaky · 07/01/2009 21:21

did they send you down here from that swank golf club officer....have they been moaning about us again?

BobbingBob · 07/01/2009 21:20

You mean I've got to compete with even more truncheons in 'ere?

maggiethemoodycook · 07/01/2009 21:18

localbobby

we have cleaned up our act, you should have been here last year.....now, what can i get you, or can't you drink on duty...hahaha

GolfingGerry · 07/01/2009 21:17
Stevefromrivalbrewery · 07/01/2009 21:16

(Belting out) Radio Ga Ga Radio Goo Goo all I hear is them bloody moldies....

Ukranianbarmaid · 07/01/2009 21:16

Are you working undercover officer?

onebatmother · 07/01/2009 21:15

She's stung by the slack leadership remarks and she's Taking Charge. It's like bleedin' Franco's Spain round here!

Stevefromrivalbrewery · 07/01/2009 21:12

YOU

Well well well i've been looking for an excuse to get this out all night

GolfingGerry · 07/01/2009 21:11
allnewcontrolfreaky · 07/01/2009 21:10

oooh, justine i love it when you get all masterful / mistressful

GolfingGerry · 07/01/2009 21:09

Ah, Good Evening, Officer! How d'ye do?

Ukranianbarmaid · 07/01/2009 21:08

Is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

localbobbyonbeat · 07/01/2009 21:08
localbobbyonbeat · 07/01/2009 21:07

THIS IS A SHAKEDOWN I REPEAT A SHAKEDOWN

'we have had reports of all sorts of murkey (or mucky) (or mouldy even) goings on in here:

  1. public indecency

  2. illegal workers

  3. use of illicit cleaning substances

  4. bugging devices

Now if you want to remain part of this community you need to clean up your act or get out.

Riot vans and custody sargent are on standby, YOU HEAR ME

And get that pissy old git cleaned up and out of here, he's a health hazard.

maggiethemoodycook · 07/01/2009 21:01

prepares stage for freddie mercury night

beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeee

GolfingGerry · 07/01/2009 21:00

Margot! Thank God!

It's all gone pear-shaped, Margot!

And it began so hopefully. I couldn't believe it when the Golden Ticket dropped into my Inbox! Little Old Gerry, no longer confined to the Middle Management canteen? Invited to trough at the Golf Club Top Table? Well, to say I was flattered would be an understatement.

And you should have seen the hors d'oevres they had up there! The best that Marguerite Patten could offer! Hard-boiled eggs, with piped egg mayonnaise on top; parma ham wrapped around an asparagus spear - the works!

But then.. then.. it all went a bit wrong. There was a bit of a misunderstanding in the Ladies' Lounge about the new Lexus "Leadership" range - in my opinion their best mid-price range to date - and to cut a long story short I got on the wrong side of Geoff, who's Chair of the Entertainment Committee.

Always seemed a decent enough chap, but crikey, he took a bit of a dislike to me. He was rather.. unkind, actually, Margot! Said a few things about my handicap that I wouldn't care to repeat.

I expected the chaps to back me up, but do you know, they didn't. Not sure why. Perhaps they didn't want Geoff to say unkind things about their handicap. Anyway, it suddenly seemed like quite a small place up there, what with no-one wanting to meet my eye.

Oh, Margot!

nosyneighbour · 07/01/2009 20:58

thinks....all the tarts are comming back.. I'll never get anymore action tonight.

allnewcontrolfreaky · 07/01/2009 20:57

i'm quite quite sure he wouldnt lie.... you must have, ahem, misunderstood.

Ukranianbarmaid · 07/01/2009 20:55

Gerry lied !

There was no job at the Golf Club it was all a ploy to get me in his Lexus. I kept asking when my interview would be but he just kept muttering something about committe.........
WHO'S THAT OTHER SLAG BEHIND THE BAR!!!

allnewcontrolfreaky · 07/01/2009 20:53

oops. forgot my algy hat.....

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