is there a moldies part three?

There has been an offline, somewhat secret MN situation for years though (whether it's 2 or 20 or 200 people) as far as I can make out, so it's nothing new.

And if Moldies is so elitist then god knows how I was able to join.

and justine you should know by now...asking people not to talk about somehting NEVER works
but well done for trying

it'll all die down, eventually...

well if the moldies only want to be where people agree with them...then I have to say, they're better off elsewhere

i love the randomness of MN and the fact that there are such different kinds of people on it
if you restrict it to your buddies you lose that surely?

so good luck to 'em in their exclusive little club

so funny though that there were always such fervent denials of quichiness

Ex-moldie spilled.

Tied in with an old thread on MN at the same time.

'They posted on Moldie things like "Phew that was close!" when the group was nearly 'outed'. And then the lies, the denying it even existed, the rudeness to MNHQ - all of that made it distasteful to me.'

how do you know all this though?

Once you know "who" you are, all the dx in the world wouldn't matter. Have often wondered if it would have helped my sister to have a name for it as a teen, or more that it would have helped us.

If Prufrock's analogy is accurate, and I see no reason to believe it isn't, as she is a moldie after all, and so was there then what a peculiarly unpleasant place that golf club must be. I wonder if the original members (which in that analogy there are, as the golf club wasn't specifically started by ex-pub members was it?) are happy with the situation?

I am reminded that when I said my dd didn't invite everyone from her class to her birthday party, because she didn't like everyone, I was roundly accused of encouraging her to be a bully. It just seems so childish, unpleasant and against what mumsnet is all about (lucky it's nothing to do with mumsnet really)

I am sure that there are lots of lovely people who have gone to join the nice "friendly" club, but really think that mumsnet might well be better off without people who obviously feel the need to keep a score of who has upset them in their postings along the way.

But then I also think that no one should post anything that they are ashamed of, or would worry if someone else read. If you feel such a strong need to go off privately to discuss things, then I think you should seriously think about why those things are unsayable elsewhere. Perhaps it is because they are not very nice and really should not be said at all? On the other hand, although I have posted here about my marriage breakdown (and repair) and had fantastic support that has made a huge difference to my life, I have never attended a meet up or posted pictures, because the anonymity is very important to me (although I do encourage friends and family to join, I wouldn't be asking them for their name, or telling them mine).

Ah yes, that'svery me. I ahve lots and lots of traits and Paed said I could get a dx if I wanted but I don't need one and cope fine these days- maybe it would have helped when I was a teen (sure it would) but not now, now I am OK.

eekareindeer - so sorry, I got you confused with someone I was emailing, I thought they had changed their name and posted on here, the timing was perfect, they also had just said they were going to take a sabbatical, as did you! I've also inferred to that person I was emailing, that they were you, I think.

Oh dear, it all gets very confusing!

Thomcat - I got a phone call from a Mumsnetter who explained why she wanted a private forum, and I understood her reasons perfectly. She wanted to be able to talk about her family and personal circumstances without other rl people seeing it on Mumsnet, without the fear of trolls and those who have made assumptions about her. I understand it as much as if she had said she had a close-knit group of friends from Mumsnet that she met to talk with.

So far no problem. I wouldn't dream of asking for an invite simply because it's not my scene.

The only difference here is that this kind of went behind peoples backs. They posted on Moldie things like "Phew that was close!" when the group was nearly 'outed'. And then the lies, the denying it even existed, the rudeness to MNHQ - all of that made it distasteful to me.

So yes, I can understand why some people would see Moldies as a safe place to go. I wouldn't have had a problem with that. But on finding out that members of the golf club lied and tried to stop the pub goers from knowing about it - well that's just wrong.

And to address Prufrock. Yes we've had some 'rucks' on Mumsnet, hasn't everyone? The largest rucks I've had on Mumsnet have been with Sophable, and yet we still manage to be friendly with each other. No grudge is held, nothing taken over to another thread. I have the utmost of respect for her. If only it could be like that with everyone. But it isn't.

However having a ruck with someone is hardly like shagging their wife! And if they don't want us part of their 'group' because we disagreed with them, then fair enough. It must be nice to be surrounded by people who agree with you all the time!

Sorry Justine, I did try not to post but some posts addressed to me I thought would be rude not to respond to!

Lou:

"a) They were vetoed
b) The were not deemed significant enough
c) They were simply forgotton"

and

d) they were thought to be likely to reject the invite

?

(well thats what I think and was trying to say an hour or so ago and think I might have been misunderstood, but not sure).

It was the bit about understanding the idea of kindness, but happier with reality, I dunno, it just struck me as very much the way DD feels ("Why do I have to pretend x to make Flameboy happy?"), so I thought I would be nosey

True, flamespar, but then they could revert to my Grisham Plot analogy, and realise they had a lucky escape...

definitely flame- can I ask why?

see the papers should just quote Cote. It would give a much better impression of us all.

(Not really related to this at all, but Peachy - do you have your own AS tendencies?)

I have a feeling I am deemed too anxious.
I wouldn't want me on a forum, because I would make myself feel anxious myself just by reading my posts.
iyswim.
there are others like me here. I feel a warm glow of acceptance. Especially by those who have not already answered my worried posts and thus are not yet bored rigid by hitting their heads on that brick wall.

it must be such a happy place over there...

people think I want kindness

No, I'm big and ugly enough for reality to be preferable

I understand the idea of kindness I guess and I suppose the motives just feels a bit- lacking in depth. I want people to think I have the balls for the truth.

But Lou, that would really only cross forgotten off your list

Prufrock a great character for this thread.

In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo

Prufrock, your analogy was a bit like pouring petrol on a slowly diminishing fire - cleared nothing up, made nothing better, International Peacekeeping forces will not be knocking your door, I feel.

I still feel that my analogy of John Grisham's book "The Firm" explained things rather well, but it got hidden in one of the last threads.

Really would be better for someone to post a link to the site, with an email address for those who would like to join to contact. Then you can openly decline applications, and no-one is left hanging. I for one would not be applying, has left a nasty taste, but for those that would, they will never be left wondering if

a) They were vetoed
b) The were not deemed significant enough
c) They were simply forgotton.

Not sure what the worst of these is. Horses for courses I suppose.

lol pag....that just made me splutter all over my keyboard...cheers...

Hm...whilst I kinda get prufrocks analogy...I think the implicattion of it is a bit ...and people were warning me about libellous (sp?) posts...

stillstanding . Why thanks ! although we still wonder how there can have been three seperate hospital mix ups. And do wonder at times how the people that landed up with our butt ugly offspring have reconciled that