If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies [part 2]

Sorry Thready, I kind of felt I had to 'declare' it iyswim

I think it might have happened because I asked the person to wish 'them' a merry Christmas, as there were people there I couldn't reach, and I wanted to say it to everyone in the spirit of the season. She did so and the apology came back.

I don't think it was like a 'who shall we send an apology to' it was just a bit random and obviously polite after I'd said happy christmas.

I don't think it's because I am special person or anything.

Actually, here's a point.

Who do you think constitute quite a large proportion of the quieter MNers?

Social fuck-ups, that's who. Peploe who are socially phobic to some extent and have huge RL problems with forming supportive friendships.

Just the sort of people who find this moldie shit the hardest.

So some people can now feel doubly hurt -- at being left out of moldies and being left out of the entire-posse apology. Still, if not gracious, what can one expect?

I don't post a lot now and am pretty anonymous on mumsnet these days - I know some of the oldies recognise me, but I don't have a high profile.

I really value mumsnet and have never flounced, but it hasn't all been sweetness and light here for me. Years ago I had a few run ins with the odd poster or two and this year my supersoaker viewpoint was roundly attacked by oldies, newbies and trolls alike 99% of mumsnet felt I was wrong and misguided or just plain bonkers. I don't mind, really, but it was interesting to see the strong eaction.

Anyway, I want to be up front. I was invited to the Moldies site a while ago, but didn't read the email properly - it arrived at work. I read something about a forum but I am not very techy and was very busy as well. Our internet policy forbids me from opening a facebook type link and I just forgot to send the email to my home address. I thought the whole thing was something to do with a round robin christmas type email group.

I then took a break from mumsnet while I did some decorating and came back here a few days before christmas, purely to wish people happy christmas. I had a quick scan through talk and realised something was up with the oldies. I had no time to find out what. I posted a happy christmas message and left again.

I was then emailed a link to the Moldies site which was one and the same as the site I had been told about earlier. I didn't realise until then. I joined a couple of days ago. I don't have much internet time so will have even less if I am dividing my time between two sites. I am finding that lots of people I like are on the Moldies site, but lots of people I equally like are on Mumsnet and it makes me sad that there seems to be a barrier. I have not got my head round this voting/vetting thing at all yet.

I do not intend to ever vote or vet anyone who joins the Moldies site - who am I to do this? I just don't know what I will do, tbh, as I want to go on talking to all the people I like. Is this a naive dream? It seems so at the moment This makes me sigh as when I left mumsnet sometime in october/november everyone seemed to be in one place!

I also really value mumsnet and MN HQ for all sorts of reasons, and like being on a site that is open to all - I've always liked the random, spontaneous nature of people posting here even when it's gone against me (and believe me, it has).

I have no idea what will happen with Moldies and mumsnetters. I have no idea if 3 weeks from now I will be posting on one, two, three, four or no sites tbh.

Anyway, for what it's worth, Happy New Year.

That's right TC, (and I apologised for that too!)

Nigh, I am not sure about that although I only know my own experience...

I had an apology which apparently was sent from the entire posse via an emissary is that the word?

Anyway I wasn't recruited, it was just an apology and an attempt at an olive branch I believe

I was glad of it, and wished them well

That's all without prejudice, I'm just glad of kindness in any form at the moment and I felt it was pretty genuine

again, I'm not in the position of say Custy, who was really hurt and I can see precisely why it hurt her, so am witholding any judgment as I feel unqualified really.

Is there a name and shame part of the thread?
I'm curious to know who are in the Moldies.
Link?

That's patently untrue nighbynight and I refute it 100%.

Avoided all this so far, but have to love LadyThompsons SDP analogy

Nigh - I understood that comment to be about making apologies to non-members rather making people members of Moldies.

Thank you FA.

Nighty, that is horrendous. And deepens my mistrust. How bloody hypocritical!

Oh well, not a damn thing we can do about it. Appealing to people's better nature has not worked. I'm having a rest for a while, see you all in the New Year!

xx

oh Rhuby

sorry things hav been naff. I can't imagine how Custy feels having been told that. How bloody hurtful.

Can't personally imagine anyone who would vote against Custy (or yourself)

You're both just MN treasure imo, can't imagine the place without you.

Here's to a better new year xx

controlfreaky, thank you for posting how I feel about it.

Rhubarb, they seem to have actively recruited people since this all kicked off - but only those who accepted being left out graciously, according to vvvq.
So, rather the opposite of recognising any hurt caused, really.
In those circumstances, I feel that individual expressions of regret are a bit hypocritical.

LadyT, you are quite right! I think people just need time to lick their wounds.

However if they are to keep posting, you do wonder if and when they will start to invite people onto their site again. I'm sure it will happen. I guess the main sticking point is that it's not gone away, nor will it, and nobody is telling us anything about it. So the secrecy is still very much alive and whilst it is, there is an air of mistrust about Mumsnet.

As far as I am concerned I think I have taken on board why people feel upset and have also apologised - Clausimworthit it explained it best for me.

I have never been to a meet up (my choice) and have rarely had contact with anyone off board; I guess we all use MN for diffferent reasons so I wasn't thinking about posters who had actually met each other. I may have had a different view if I had.

Also I had no idea re a voting/vetoeing system - I first heard about it here tbh.

Yes I did say a couple of bad things (but that was in response to one or 2 people who were deliberately stirring, jumping on the bandwagon, the anti cod mob etc)

But at the end of day I think anyone is entitled to suggest ways of improving MN because tbh i think there are certain things that need dealing with.

And don't forget that for MNHQ any publicity is good publicity. Remember what was really going on with GF?

Having said that I will continue to post on MN because on the whole I like it - and my last comment is

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

Yes, I made apologies too. So did quite a few others.

horrid thought, to be shunned as suspect moldie when actually one is a reject. it is most paranoia inducing you are right kerrymum.

besides it is almost impossible to keep up with who is here so it can't realistically last long.

A cheese board would be more appropriate. With blue cheese!

I like blue cheese.

It's silly though isn't it? To feel this way? 'Tis only the internet and I wasn't as personally involved as custy. She found out she had been nominated but vetoed against, so she must be wondering who, of the Moldies, voted against her? Plus she met up with a few of them at the Xmas Do and at Brighton meet-ups. She thought highly of them, considered them friends.

I'm not in that position. But I do feel discriminated against. And I do mistrust quite a lot of people on Mumsnet atm.

But then again I am quite low in general atm. It's been a bad Christmas and neither dh or I feel like celebrating New Year with a possibility of being jobless. So I guess I'm more sensitive to it all.

Hugs appreciated btw! I'm glad there are still good people out there!

Happy New Year folks!

Oh thanks Rusty. Looks rather sort of shabby chic as countries go, doesn't it?

Moldavia

I'm late to the furore. I have posted a lot this year but only really on my ante-natal thread as of late as my DD was born in Nov and I have, in the words of Why Don't You, been doing something less boring instead. So forgivez-moi if I am just repeating. It's neve stopped me before

I'm hugely dismayed by the reports in the press as it makes a peerless site sound like an offcut from an Angela Brazil novel. I frankly don't care if some people want to set up a site of their own, particularly if they know each other in RL - yes, all this vetoing malarkey seems a bit low rent, as does this tiresome drawbridgism of 'Mumsnet is too full of newbies'; but it's still up to them. I couldn't give a fluff about the Moldies, good luck to them, but I am saddened to see the site brought into disrepute with all this sniping, and I am sorry for people like Custardo, who actually seemed to know some of these characters. But come on, they haven't jigsawed the heart out of Mumsnet. They aren't the sole keepers of the wit, warmth and wisdom that have made it so great. At least we might have seen the back of threads like that real heartsinker, the 'Mumsnet Royalty' one a few months ago. That was a REAL nadir and lit the touchpaper for some rather grisly self-importance, imo. Anyway, far from being a Mayflower, I reckon the Moldies debacle will be just like the SDP breakaway from the Labour party many moons ago Happy New Year ladies.

it would help

special moldie chocolate formed by elves in the caves of moldavia (is that a real place?)