If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies, please do it here so folks can hide this if they want to.

and let's not forget....all the moldies who wonder what all the fuss is about (why are some of them so bothered).... all this kicked off because a chief moldie couldn't stand not being missed...

there's irony for you...

By CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell on Mon 29-Dec-08 17:23:16
D'you know what? This is really pissing me off right now.

Mumsnet has been made to look like it's dominated by swearing, airheaded, middle class mothers in The Independent with nowt better to do than stomp around in their Boden jeans having a tant about a group of anonymous posters on a parenting site.

I'm sure that for the Moldie members it must be lovely to be able to discuss personal things in private and confidence without some name changing troll pissing all over your posts. It must be lovely to disclose your thoughts and problems with like-minded friends without worrying about it being taken the wrong way or having those dreaded Mumsnetters that you don't like, daring to come onto your thread.

As a lot of us who have been on Mumsnet for many years, it does hurt to have people name-changing to make personal and very hurtful attacks on you, which I presume never happens on Moldies.

So may I make a suggestion? Instead of bickering like the loons The Independent clearly think we are, how about we make Mumsnet even better? A site we can be proud of and feel safe posting on?

MNHQ - is there any way that name-changers who do so to personally attack other posters, can have a stiffer punishment? Perhaps banning from the site with no warning? Is there any way we can make Mumsnet a nicer, safer place to post?

Because right now, all we seem to be doing is giving the Moldies justification for the existance of their site.

I'm sure we'd all like to be able to post without fear of being personally attacked or having our real life covers blown. So why don't we work towards that this New Year? Because if I wanted to join Mumsnet right now for some support and advice, I'd be really put off.

And isn't that what Mumsnet is for? For people who are struggling, who need a bit of support and advice? Who can liaise in confidence with other parents and share experiences, problems and achievements? If I wanted a little forum to just talk to friends I can set one up, but I joined Mumsnet to get help and advice and to offer some where I could. I still get a kick out of feeling that my post has really helped, that my contribution has been worth something to someone. And whenever I have an issue, Mumsnet is one of the first places I turn to for advice and support.

Let's keep it that way shall we?

Who's with me on this one?

Bloody marvelous post Rhubarb - the best and most sane thing I have read on here for days (my own posts included)!

My suggestion would be to stop the facility for name changing full stop. Then at least whatever people wanted to say, they would have to say in their own name IYNWIM.

Anyway, a brilliant post!

I have been gripped by this whole Moldies thing, it has really made me think about what Mumsnet means to people and how Moldygate has affected people on so many different levels

some people come here for chat and banter about parenting
some people need extra support and help about parenting

some people are desperate for urgent support with RL probs
some people have experience that can help desperate people

some people use it to meet people and make friends
others don't, its just a cyber world

so there is not one group that is right or wrong

I've been a Mnetter for about 3 years, mostly lurking or frequent namechanger, I have never wanted to be 'known', rarely have I started a thread and usually just reply if its something I have personal experience with

for the past week or so, I will admit I thought the Moldies were in the wrong (sorry)
but after thinking today, I can see why they did post here, amazed at all the upset over it, they can use the WWW in any way they choose, the same way as I can and do

I can also see why other long standing Mnetters are upset but in all honesty what can you do about it? nothing really but get back to the other topics and start Mnetting again, offering the support, advice and laughs that we all here for

this is my first post under (yet another) new name, no one would have known me as anything else

this took so long to write you are all prob on the cocktails and pasta sandwiches by now, but I feel better now I have said the things that put it all into perspective for me

as you were

For anyone wanting to check a prior posting record, check PontipineFinderGeneral.

Richard.

Why Wilf, my wife may be watching!

Oh, and one really important point. Within nine months, the purpose of the splinter group I set up no longer applied, and things actually went back pretty much to the way they were.

You couldn't stop the trolls though :-)

moldies is about as commercial as my front room

(lol at exclduing loose cannons with bipolar tendencies from splinter sites)

Is it wrong to at a Vicar's husband?

if RevJustAbout doesn't exist then she's a very good liar and I've got more problems than any of you

I've found this whole mouldies thing really unseemly, and I can't think of too many people who come out of it well. As (mostly) an outsider, I do have a couple of observations though. Unlike most, I've been on both sides of the fence for this type of thing in the past. In a previous net-life, I started a splinter forum (after a usenet group) that was unabashedly selective given a large number of trolls - and one person who was being deliberately cruel to a person I respect.

Because of this, I do have sympathy for the mouldies in what they were trying to do. Trolls are annoying, and once a forum reaches a particular level of maturity, it's inevitable that some of those who were originally there will feel that it's changed and they should move on. (Whether they changed or mumsnet did is moot.) That's what the mouldies did; ironically, that's all that Justine(?) accused them of - and I don't think incorrectly.

One big differences was that I tried to at least be upfront about it, and engage honestly and without name-calling. In one case, I had a 90 minute phone call to Australia to a vulnerable person I'd excluded on the basis that he was a complete loose cannon. (In hindsight, I'm pretty sure he was bipolar, and I probably didn't do him any good whilst trying to protect someone else.)

It doesn't appear to me that the mouldies were particularly upfront. Before anyone attacks those who are in here (except in the brief flame-outbreaks like yesterday) PLEASE think about what they're doing. Many of them will be trying to assuage feelings - they don't want to have hurt people and probably were very uncomfortable about elements of the mouldies site. Why would people have nearly given the game away previously (and highlighted it!) if they weren't uncomfortable and didn't want more disclosure to happen.

Don't kick those brave and honest enough to come in now and actually engage. Instead, why not ask them what they were thinking.

Finally, in response to yesterday's thread - if RevJustAbout doesn't exist then she's a very good liar and I've got more problems than any of you. To restate what a few other people have already acknowledged (including DIOR) she did not say what was attributed to her. The post in question was:

[By ReinDIORdroppings on Fri 19-Dec-08 22:40:40
Can I just say that I am totally fucked off at not being invited to the 'other' forum. If that makes me a saddo, I can live with that. Sad is better than being not good enough to be part of the cool gang. I have been missing loads of posters who used to make me laugh.

Oh, and I want one of those badges that say I-have-been-here-forever-therefore-it-is-due-to-me-that-you-make-a-living-and-you-should-bow-at-my-f eet' mentioned by Rev. ]

I can't for the life of me work out how they attributed this post to my wife, particularly given that she's referred to in the second - and previously uncited - paragraph!

Merry Christmas

Mouse, Moldies isn't a commercial site and has no plans to be, ever.

pag is my new bestest fwend, ever !

pagwatch....you joker

six. But worth cutting a toe off for. I'll lend em yer !

i am sure it was just like that

at your shoes . are you a size 5

SPB I had hoped that would reassure people that it wasn't the monstrous entity some would have it be. Didn't work well, did it?!

Custardo, you're very welcome. I really am not in the business of fanning flames on this subject - would rather do quite the opposite.

Lulu

I think you are looking at all wrong. You say

"to be judged without your knowledge, and then to be found lacking"...
I don't think that is it at all.
See I think they went
"hmm Pagwatch? But she is so gorgeous and brilliant and wonderous and oh so very twinkly and has such nice ankles. We cannot be in her presence without feeling amiss. let us keep our self worth and leave out her - and Lulu"

That is what happened i am sure.
Stay here with me at www.deluded.com - way more fun....