If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies, please do it here so folks can hide this if they want to.

Ooh rusty, I have a skin tag right there iykwim. I hope that doesn't erupt, it's bad enough keeping the piles at bay.

LOL TsarChasm, I think you have jumped a day there. I am a December baby! Well, Catinthehat, if it was not you I spoke to before about this, there is yet another NYE MN baby out there somewhere. We need to unite!

Rhubarb, I have never had piles but I endured the agony of a anal fissure for 5 months after the birth of my eldest and in the end, the agony was too much. The relief at getting treatment from the GP was something I will never forget. Hopefully you won't get to that point, but honestly, for some things, even a finger up the bum is worth it.

It is my threventieth birthday tomorrow (still December , thank you). I was probably twelvety when you were born. I haven't had this conv before. My oh my I have had a few.

Happy birthday DG!

I had a massive one a few years ago - I had it injected with something mysterious but magical and it disappeared.

Then they decided things needed further investigation & booked me in for a barium enema xray, for which I had to take some viscious laxatives. I spent an entire day on the toilet & the thing returned with a vengeance.

Incidentally, I was told mine wasn't piles, it was a 'skin tag' - a distinction without a difference as far as I was concerned...

Yes seriously I'd rather shove an IcePop in mi knickers than have a GP shove a finger up mi arse, wrap an elastic band round the bastard whilst I scream in pain and then wait until the bugger falls off.

Actually dd got a space hopper for Christmas - at least I think it's a space hopper....

Yes! Happy Birthday DG for tomorrow. I remember when we were lamenting our ahem..'big birthdays' together a few years back (probably you do not)

Hope you have a good day... Us January babies must stick together.

[eats kiwis preemptively]

Oh,They'll go back in Rhubarb.

But You Mark My Words..
They Will Return! And this time, They'll be angry.

lol pagwatch re stage five.

In fact, stage five is when children ask for a go on the spacehopper.

Catinthehat it is my birthday tomorrow too! Which year were you born? and have we had this conversation before because I recall someone here being born on my 8th birthday.

Mine got worse until I was nearly passing out with the pain when 'going'. I HAD to see the GP. Plus, after having been through labour twice, i'd no shame left

I believe they may abate but not go all altogether. Seriously you'd rather shove an ice pop into your knickers than see a doctor?

Rhubarb, Germaloids worked really well on my swollen eyelids.
I have half a tube I'd happily send you but you'd have to take my word for it that it;s been no-where near my arse

I AM NOT SHOWING MY ARSE TO ANYONE!

C'mon now, surely they can go by themselves? Huh? Someone? Tell me they can!

for rhubarb......a bit of muslin soaked in witch hazel and wrapped around a mini frozen ice pop and then popped in your knickers.......or an ice pop shoved inside a sanitary towel soaked in witch hazel.

best advice I got from the PN midwifes after my vbac.

From one regular, but sporadic lurker to NorthernLurker, Thanks.

Rhubarb - I wouldn't usually downplay the power of prayer....but I think you need somebody medical to sort you out. Come on - be a brave a soldier and visit the GP before you have a whole fruit salad hanging out down there!

That's a nice post bumbling

I'm not letting any GP look at my arse thankyouverymuch! There was never any talk of banding them after I'd given birth!

I'm sure it'll just pop back in after a bit - won't it?

Dh said he had one in Australia, he thought he had bum cancer. He prayed and prayed for it to go and all at once it just popped back in! Can you imagine praying to God for your 'grape' to go away?

I know, I'll show it all the threads on Moldies and it's bound to go back into hiding!

Groan!

Wow in the current litigious culture that is so unthinkable!

Hopefully it won't put Rhubarb off if she does need to visit her GP.

Apologies for barging but I've only just spotted the whole Mouldies furore. Blimey!

Now that's a PROPER barney I've missed, used to missing some of them, but that['s FAb. Didn't even see the Sunday papers. So nice to see names here that I know. I didn't know who'd gone and doubtless will miss some, but I just pray the spirit of Mumsnet will live on. In life new friends come as old friends go and I hope the same will be true here. This isn't a club for me at least and I don't have friends as such here but have logged on since 2005 and have always, always appreciatred the supprt and tried to offer it when I feel I can. I'd have never coped with sleepless nights, sicky baby, weaning, potty training, starting nursery etc etc without it. So from me at least, thanks for everything Mumsnet, and all Mumsnetters past and present.

A long time ago (we're talking 25 years), dh went to his gp with the grape issue. Gp told him to take trews etc down, lie on couch in foetal position. Without warning, gp lanced said grape with a scalpel.

Barbaric.

lol at this, sorry Rhubarb, I feel your pain.

Tinker
And when the half buys its own ticket....

As much as you ever could be, watching the DC make things with glue, glitter and pipe cleaners, controlfreaky!

kiwi fruit. Honestly. eat two or three a day and your poo will turn to magic gold dust. I would patent them if i could. Had severe contsipation in both pregnancies and sorted me right out.