One child familes - please can we have our own topic?

done the survey

ban smacking.
there's no place for it.

topic please

don't think we need a section for onlies - there have been some crackingly good threads in the past which address the subject when necessary - am sure that's enough

Done the survey. Topic please.

Done the survey.
Want the only children topic.

Hello Justinemumsnet ? It is really very nice to see you!

I will definately do your survey if I am I am allowed to do it? You see... I don't live in the UK so I am not entirely sure that I can do surveys and competitions?

(On the side, lots of mners don't live in the UK.... seeeee....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/living_overseas/576865-can-we-make-our-own-from-our-own-correspondent

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/living_overseas/613580-from-our-own-correspondent

? we don?t have a fooc from Mumsnet towers and seriously it would be lovely and interesting if you were so kind as to join in!)

So ? back to the subject in hand....tell me?. this one child family thread???? What are your thoughts and feelings about it? Does it sound sensible to you? How can we move this sentiment forward? As it feels like it is a real issue and somehow needs moving forward, here, on forward thinking mn.

I'm sensing a trend here. hmmmm.

That survey must be the dogs bollocks. I think you should do it. and it is really super quick, two clicks and you're in.

I think the should get their own topic too. I have 3 - so don't fit into larger families, and neither would I fit into and "onlies" one either. However I have friends who have onlies - not through choice, and it does appear to bring it's own set of problems.

well put tea 4 2
we can't talk properly on one thread.

Honestly, squeaver, I had to look the word "fascinator" up on google - had no idea what it meant!!!!

I prefer to wear low brimmed hats - they are like horses blinkers allowing me to focus in entirely on my precious first and only born - eeeerrrr........... yeeeeeaaaaah riiiiiiggggghhhhtttt!!!! Ha ha ha!!!!

Think it's worthwhile. I sometimes feel that I almost have to apologise for having only one when I'm posting on a general thread. Anticipating the reaction 'well, what do you know about it, you have no idea what it's like to deal with two or three or more...'.

Yes, it makes sense to me. I don't begrudge any of the other families their topics and think it would be good to have one for 'onlies' for all the reasons you mention, teafortwo. There are so many diverse things that people may want to discuss that having them all on one thread may become unwieldy.

Even though I have 2 I can see why one child families would want their own section, it comes with a whole set of 'issues' that "normal nuclear" types (I do NOT mean that in a bad way) do not deal with, same as large families. I think it's a good idea.

Lots and lots of sense TFT. Let's see what happens now.

(And don't buy a blardy fascinator - I'm serious!)

mmm... intersting, viewpoints, julesrose, Yanda and madbadanddangeroustoknow!!!

Something else I have noticed is the wide issues within being a parent of one child. There are the day to day issues of the runnings of a one child family that has a completely different ambiance to that of more than one. Our concern as parents to create a balanced individual who hasn't 'suffered' through having no siblings of course is an issue (how much is it an issue and how much is it social pressure, I wonder?)!

Then there are the deeper feelings and thoughts of parents; those who are happy and feel that having one child is living their dream, others who have been medically only able to have an only one but wanted a large family, others who had one child but are now single so haven't had another so far, those who have had not nice experiences of babyhood, birth or pregnancy, even those who have had the unthinkable become real and lost a child and now have just one living child.

These issues are impossible to deal with all in one thread but equally we all feel connected by having one child. A topic would be a better way of organising our chat.

Seriously - take a look at our messy thread, I am paraphrasing here for quick reading if I use the wrong language or seem harsh I really am sorry, I am saying "I am taking dd to India" while someoneelse is saying "I had two micarriages. The pain was awful." and someoneelse "My first baby never stopped crying" and someoneelse "My only goes to choir - brilliant" All valid and important issues but none could be talked about properly because we need a topic of "only child" and then threads where we can talk in more depth, more freely and more comfortably about all of the issues behind that "only child" title.

Does this make sense?

Oh yes - I want a pigeon pair topic (parents of two children, one girl and one boy definitely need a safe place. Universally maligned)

Just wanted to lend my support for an 'onlies' topic!

Squeaver has said it all really... But I would like to get to know some mn'ers who also have 'onlies'. So far I don't know anyone in RL (of similar age to myself) who has an only child either by choice or circumstance. All my friends find my choice to have just the one child a bit odd - so it would be great to meet some mn'ers who have that in common with me.

I think Squeaver has already said it very eloquently, but here's my two-penn'orth....

MN already has topics dedicated to larger families, lone parents, multi-cultural families and step-parenting. So MNHQ has already recognised that other types of family which do not conform to the nuclear family with 2.4 children norm or have other very specific issues to discuss can have their own topic - a topic for single/only child families has to be the next logical step.

Of course, nearly all families (except those with multiples) spend a few years with just one child, and everyone would be welcome on the topic, but there are issues to do with raising a child who will never have a sibling which deserve to be discussed under a dedicated topic.

That concludes my submission to the court, M'Learned Friends.

I would like a topic for onlies, I think that it would be useful. I don't really see why the logistical issues that face larger families are any more important than the socialisation issues that onlies face. And to me three children is a larger family. I mean FGS, there is one for sleb twaddle which is not even a parenting ishoo yet there are some of us who feel we would benefit from an onlies board and we are being told to sod off because others don't see the benefit. If you don't like it, don't look.

Oh please - where's the harm! I think it could be very useful. Most of the time with an only it's fine, but sometimes there's a whole load of guilt / anxiety etc etc and it would be nice and supportive to have somewhere to go.

I look forward to it too Squeaver, infact, when (not if) we are given a topic I suggest it be made the first thread!

ooooh - good joke lovelysongbirdanotheryearolder....

Let's listen to some music while we chat....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJxxYlcN0Is

Outstanding work TFT! And I look forward to the "importance of choosing hats over fascinators if you only have one child" thread!

there are sections for large families so there should be one for onlies.

its ONLY fair after all.

and don't give us any crap that they will only be onlies for a short while read the linked thread and you will see some of these will be onlies for good.

Hello Mulanmum!

What a brilliant idea!!!!

I agree with Squeaver... there are specific issues that effect people with just one child in the same way there are specific issues that effect chicken keepers!

If I ever find myself wondering why my chicken has crossed the road I know for sure I will be very thankful for the chicken keepers topic!!!

If I ever need support and reassurance about my only dd... whether it is travelling with her, concerns over her social skills, reassurance I am not a bad Mum for not producing siblings, ideas for good only child role models for her, ideas for stimulating and interesting outings for us or advice on friendships which I believe, through research, have a different significance for only children I would really love to have a topic to turn to.

Single child families are a big social change happening all around us in every major city, all the towns and villages not just across the UK but the developed World!

Ok, ok... Perhaps at the end of the day if you gave us a topic of our own it will just be me and Squeaver sitting about chatting about hats! However, in reality I suspect it will be well used by at least all 54(?) mners who have signed in on the one child family thread each interesting and interested people with questions, ideas, concepts, jokes, fears and sometimes with to be honest really terrible or completely amazing personal stories that they want to share! Things they so far have felt they couldn't mention because they had no postbox to put these words into!

Mn - go on - give these parents a postbox! Even just so you can post "Told you so" When I post in topic: One child "Yes but don't you think that hat will spoil my hair, Squeaver?"