Observer wants Mumsnetters' views on whether parents over react to their child's health

I agree - women laughing at themselves is one thing, a feature about how silly all these hysterical mummies are can be a different matter. Like lots of parents I have had to fight and fight for my child's health, be that a diagnosis of an allergy that was making his life utterly miserable ('it's just a cold, go away) or his dyspraxia and other things.

LittleBella - there is a world of difference between feeling that you have a right to good care (which I agree with) and entitlement to have instant access to that care.

Your child may be screaming because his tummy hurts that minute but compared to someone who is having a heart attack and who will die if he doesn't get urgent treatment would you really say 'oh yes, my kid needs to go first'?

Actually it's not negligent to wait ten minutes or test whether it really is that bad by using distraction (if the promise of chocolate buttons suddenly cures the problem, I'm guessing it's not a fatal illness).

Also doctors would not call a mother lazy or negligent for not bringing their child in at the first sniffle. I have turned up at doctors and said 'DD has been unwell for a week with X and Y, we have tried self treatment, it hasn't worked' and been told 'well nine times out of ten self treatment does work but it hasn't so now we have to do something'.

Finally there is nothing to stop you learning more about first aid or healthcare, it is your responsibility as a parent to be able to the help the doctors by being able to describe what's happened at the very least and perhaps if you were a bit more confident in how to treat minor injuries and ailments you would more inclined to try watchful waiting.

Sorry. Have slight hangover and am extremely bad-tempered.

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I hate this bollocks about having a sense of entitlement. Yes I do feel entitled to get medical care for my child if s/he needs it.

Especially in a society which defines NOT seeking medical help for a child who needs it, as an act of child abuse which could be imprisonable if your child deteriorates rapidly because you didn't take them to the doctor on time ("lazy", "negligent")

FFS. If you don't take them to the doctor's, you don't know they don't need medical help. And every single doctor worth their salt, will always say to a mother: "I would rather you were hysterical and brought them in unnecessarily, than too diffident to bring them in until it's too late."

But hey, that doesn't fit in with the mother-bashing narrative, does it.

completely

the threads i can link to on here with mothers shrieking at people to 'take dd to a and e NOW' OR ' ring an ambulance' for totally unnecessary ailments ...makes me seethe

no wonder health service skint

What like the growth in my DD's ear which turned out to be a raisin

Or the time I rushed her to the doctors because she was really constipated and immediately as the doctor examined her she shat all over his desk (she was over the age of one at the time!)

Obviously though these were PFB moments, DS now if he sneezes we accept he may have a cold and it's not the bubonic plague.

I do think we have a sense of entitlement that says our kids should be seen immediately and that everything should be fixed/they should never suffer.

Whereas actually sometimes things hurt and you have to learn to live with it.

Oh come on, how do you mistake tomato sauce for blood! PSML

A 'friend' ;-);_) once rushed herdaughter to A&E because she had a bad cut that was gushing blood. She didnt know how she had done it as she was in her high chair eating and when she turned back she was covered.
As friend was squeamish so didn't dare try and clear it up enough to check out the wound.

Dr was not impressed when he wiped away the TOMATO SAUCE to reveal no cut at all.

she was very shame faced.

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I can merrily add to this one - at 3 weeks old he cried all night so we saw the OOH GP - he was asleep by the time we got there . For the record he proceeded to cry all night every night for the following 5 months

We got an emergency GP appointment when he was a week old for his sticky eyes (which, apparently, all babies get nobody tells you these things).

DP took him to the doc again this morning because we found a lump behind his ear yesterday. It was gone by the time he got there - a lymph node apparently

I'm a vet, I should know better!

However, despite having a background in mammalian physiology and dealing with illness and infection on a daily basis, I've never had a baby before and I had no way of knowing I was over-reacting on any of the above occasions. So how is someone who has no medical knowledge whatsoever supposed to differentiate between minor and major illness? Surely better to be safe than sorry. Funny thread but treading on difficult ground.

i agree.

as for the consultant takingnher kid to a and e for croup-well she is right to do so. stroking their forehead and giving them a cuddle while they are unable to breathe doesn't make you a better mummy you know?

every time ds1 had a new patch of ezcema i panicked thinking it was meningitis!

i do agree with sm though.

I agree with SM. Yes it's true we can all laugh at our PFB moments, but on MN that's fine, this is for the observer which is out in the big wide world which has become increasingly hostile and sneering towards mothers.

Sorry, I'm probably overreacting. Ignore me. I'm sure there are funny stories but I'm on the wrong thread I think!

spicemonster... I think what is being asked for are the kind of over-reactions that we all do, and we all laugh about later.

I was not, and would never, post a funny story about someone else taking their PFB to the doc because they didn't appear to feel pain.

That would be nasty and mean and un-funny

What makes it funny is that it was me who did it. I can laugh about it later precisely because she was obviously perfectly okay.

I have also taken all three children to the docs, or the hospital because I felt something was wrong and, guess what, something bloody well was wrong!

Nobody is suggesting that we make this into a "laugh at the new mums" thread. It is a "laugh at ourselves" thread. And, let's face it, if we can't laugh at ourselves then the world is a very very miserable place.

imo

I'm not blaming this thread but I do think rubbishing mothers for over-reacting makes them think twice before seeking medical advice. Or maybe I'm just so worried about being PFB about things that I take it too far. Either way, I don't like the 'let's all laugh at the hysterical mothers' vibe. I think it's unpleasant and making women's lives even harder.
I don't see the same riducule being directed at dads.

lmao @ squonk's unhurt child not crying!

I wouldn't let newspaper stories make me ignore my instinct, and you can't blame this thread for your 9 month old being rushed to resus.

You see it was all that hahaha let's all laugh at the stupid overreacting mummy stories that led me to not want to make a big deal of my DS's temperature and stentorious breathing last winter. I didn't make a big deal up until the point when he turned blue when I finally plucked up courage to call NHS Direct. He ended up being rushed to resus because he couldn't breathe. He was 9 months old.

Ha fucking ha. I'm afraid I'm not laughing.

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mmj, you've got the wrong end of the stick. infected eczema is just not fucking funny, and taking him to the doctors was in no way an over-reaction - this thread is about people who have over-reacted.

I know but she always had those it was the combination of the rash and temp that panicked me.

but ledodgy-she had a high temp.