What are your top tips for making family life work ?

Appreciate someone for the little things they do as well as the big things. Show respect. Above all communicate.

R E S P E C T

don't spread yourself too thin; if you do too many jobs (paid and unpaid), none will be well done, and you'll end up feeling a failure (which you're not)

Think about all the things you have got and not the things you haven't. Do not try and have the life you had before with the children and enjoy everyday and the next day they will be a day older

Marriage Counselling.

Marvellous.

sex
chocolate
alcohol

It's a cliche, but "Dont' sweat the small stuff".

Value everyone's contribution, rather than obsessing about what they don't do.

Tell all members of your family that you love them on a regular basis.

We take each day as it comes.
Always have a project in pipeline (usually house related), which one of us takes lead on.
We laugh alot at ourselves regularly!
We try and pick the right battle ,ignoring the no winners!

LOL at this thread.

Agree with the sex life one.

The things you can't stand about your family members are usually the flipsides of the things you love - can't have one without the other.

Routine is great but it's for your family, your family does not exist for the routine.

Fresh air and exercise makes life easier.

God, parenting with a hangover is the worst IMO.

Had a boozy special occasion lunch yesterday and trying to read Charlie and Lola to DD1 at bedtime was like nails down a blackboard. And I normally love reading to the DDs.

Couldn't imagine feeling like that all the time.

However I am particularly susceptible to hangovers and deal with them very badly, always have.

train babies to crawl off to dh when they've pooed.

Talk to your kids and make sure they are included in decisions wherever possible.

Yeah, I agree with LB about wine or alchhol per se. Too bad habit forming and you forget how to talk to each other when not apprasing throgh merlot coloured specs

Though I'm sure everyone knows not to take any advice from me!

lol KM

Never ask 'do you fancy her'?

I am an LP so also don't count but in my family life what always makes things work better is prioritising sleep. If I have had enough sleep, I can cope so much better if the DC's haven't.

Also I disagree that wine is the answer. I've found that drastically cutting back and saving it for special occasions, means I sleep better (see point 1 and enjoy it more when I do have it.

LOL at all Pointydog's tips.

i also ask him if i am boring or at least say "i know i am"

re the never let him see you shave your legs (willself) dp has seen me doing some unmentionables

my whole family see me perioding and all that goes with it

i have had 6 pregnancies so another cart load of unmentinables

but sex still v important - despite above - i try to stay attractive-ish

I luckily tell dp he is fanciable all the time

occasionally people tell him i am which helps!

Be kind to each other

sorry did not mean to write a dissertation on the subject!

I disagree re going the 'never going to sleep on an argument'. I much rather stop verbal diarrea and go to sleep in the spare room than talk nonsense and wind eachother up till the early hours, especially with new baby. With some sleep everything is much rosier in the morning.

what worked for us till now is:

• remember to back eachother up always, especially when confronted with children's cunning abilities to divide and destroy. if in disagreement always discuss it after said child has left the room.

• regularly have time on our own separately to remember who we are and have time alone just the two of us to remember how we were pre-children.

• remember to say thank you often and aknowledge how hard we each work to keep this boat afloat.

• share chores whatever way works.

• laugh.

• have sex.

• feign super interest - as if in a first date - when he tells you aboout that time he was in australia blah blah for the millionth time.

• remember that if he doesn't look like when you met you probably don't either.

• remember that fighting about the state of the house is never about the state of the house.

• weekend together in a messy house doing exactly what we all fancy.

• have a cleaner if you can.

• meal plan (this is never achieved but it will definitely improve my life)

• never let children and dhs go hungry or tired (god has spoken!!!)

We have a whiteboard and corkboard which has all the details of what we are all up to, shopping list, bills to pay, jobs that need doing, pocket money earned ... I love it! We call it the motherboard - here it is

Joint bank account, into which he pays all the money!!