We need your thoughts on late potty training

The decision has to vary with each child.. and not with what other people think should be happening.. I was confidently told that DD would / should be out of nappies at 2 , as girls are so much quicker .. however she is 3 next month and in nappies.

Developmentally ,she is normal, but has been slow to eat, sit, crawl, walk and talk.. so i am not surprised she is slower to toilet train.

i am putting her on the toilet several times a day and doing lots of positive praise, but until she is physcially and physiologically ready and recognises she needs to wee /poo before it is coming out of her body, we are on a hiding to nothing

I don;t feel any social pressure as i know my child well enough to know that she will do it in her own sweet time. HV agrees with me.

they will go at their own pace. DS was 3 when toilet trained and was dry , day and night in one week as he was READY!!

i buy cheap pull ups and nappies from lidl.. she is still in size 4 / 4+ as she is petite... if nappies were not made big enough and children still needed them, mums would find a way around it

there is so much competitiveness in child rearing and so much heartache to be had, unecessarily, but forcing or pressing a child to do something before they are physically able.

Well, as someone who has been trying to potty train my now 3 year old ds who shows absolutely no interest whatsoever in potty training, I am likely to be just a little defensive.

Having said that, I would love to know the DM's source for their claim that late potty training leads to dire physical and psychological consequences, so that I could see if there was even the remotest grain of scientific truth. Because it sounds like DM scaremongering shite to me.

All children are different. The age they will toilet train at is different. I feel a slight peer pressure to get ds out of nappies, but you know what, if I make more of a fuss about the whole toilet thing and force ds before he is ready and upset him, that I believe is likely to give him more lavatorial hang-ups than late toilet training.

I agree with squonk and welshlinz. I have 2 kids who have both potty trained at completely different ages.

I find the older generation (well my mum anyway) put the most pressure on to potty train early.

xposeted agree with welsh too

I'm with squonk each child will potty train when its ready and not before. my Ds was very easy to train when he decided to do it about 6 months after he'd shown signs he was able and i could have got him started. my DD wanted to get going earlier to be just like her brother,she was ready before i was prepared to start her. i have had friends who have tried earlier before their DC wanted to and it has taken longer because it has become an issue and a battle of wills. Mind you DD2 not so far off the whole potty training thing and will probably teach me all i have believed in is rubbish and will make my life hell to prove me wrong

I think the pressure we are putting on children to become potty trained early is often the cause in them being 3 / 4 by the time they are fully trained. I worked in a playgroup with children from 21/2. The amount of mothers who came to us worried sick whether their child would be accepted if they weren't trained was ridiculous. One childs mother was that adamant about her becoming potty trained she badgered her constantly about whether she needed the toilet. In the end the child ended up holding it in and crying through the stress she was being put under. At the end of the day, every child is different and I don't see the big rush. I was totally relaxed with my daughter. I waited until she chose to use her potty which was around 27 months. I coninued using nappys at night time until she told me she didn't need them anymore. Was really simple and she's hardly ever had an accident since. I do think other mothers are a nightmare for putting pressure on each other. Especially those that go around bragging " he was dry from age 2 " !!! Reality Check, I doubt it, and if thats th case, good for you but so what ?? Got loads of tips but rambling on now so will shut up. Main piece of advice. RELAX. If you're stressed about the situation, your child will pick up on this and won't enjoy using their potty.

I don't think nappy manufacturers are to blame - they are presumably filling a gap in the market.

To answer your other questions (imo)

1. Each child is different and therefore potty training will vary with each child, the perfect age also varies dependent upon the parents and what is important to them.

1. Yes, mums deffo feel social pressure to get their kids out of nappies, but they shouldn't.

1. nope. They will "get" it when they are ready to.

4 (I know you didn't ask four other questions, but I'm answering it anyway) The DM is scaremongering crap

What has changed in recent(ish) years is the extended family being on hand to share experiences of this kind of thing. Mums (and dads) don't have the wealth of experience to call on so don't necessarily know when they are "supposed" to potty train, also if you've been at work all day, when you get home you want to play with your toddler, not teach it to poo on demand.

There is waaaaaay too much to worry about without them giving us more stuff to think about