From MNHQ - we need your comments....

If the mother knew about the nursery rules re haircuts, then she shouldn't have had it done. If she signed up knowing those rules, then she should have stuck to them.

However the rules are frankly ludicrous when it comes to nurseries/preschools. How the hell is a haircut going to affect anything?

Absolutely pointless rules for rules sake.

I would avoid a nursery/preschool like this (if I had choice at time).

TBH why shouldn't the kid have a hairstyle he likes? If he liked it and she was happy with it what's the problem? SO many kids hate getting their hair cut at that age, she probably couldn't see why not.

If my ds wanted cut like that, I would let him.

(that was to lynette)

what do you mean?

I'm very about rachel(mumsnet)

Obviouly nothing to do with MNHQ, IMO.

won't leave the house without aftershave? wtf?

Actually, on reflection I wonder if the nursery have done this to try to bring the mother back down to the real world?

a 3 yo with an earring and hair gel and aftershave is not normal. So maybe, just maybe, the nursery have raised these issues with the mum, ie aftershave can't be all that good for skin/he's only 3 and really he should be thinking about playing with cars and trains rather than geling his hair/spraying on aftershave, and as the mother has not been open t these suggestions maybe they thought they'd take the hardline approach.

If the mother knew the nursery's dress code, etc., then she should have grown a backbone and said no. If she didn't, then I don't think she was necessarily out of order in agreeing to the haircut although personally I think she was nuts because having to gel a child's hair in amongst everything involved in getting out the door in the morning is something she'll live to regret .

This is a state nursery attached to a state primary school I take it

nursery up own arse
mum is wise to tkae him out
tramlines shitaltho am alwasy supriosed at the number of "niace" kids wiht em

I don't think the parent should have said no, it wasn't a big deal and what's the harm in a little boy expressing himself? We aren't all clones andm qutie frankly, I wouldn't want my children to be all the same.

I think it's disgusting treatment from the nursery. Nurseries shouldn't have a dress code imo and I'd send my child to a better one if they were being so petty.

Wannabe I was in a lift last week with a toddler sporting hair gel. His mother was complaining that his hair felt all crusty even though she'd 'only put a bit in today'

btw, Rachel - why don't you have a (FROM MNHQ) ?

aftershave?

a 3 year old that gels his hair? .

This is not about appearance. We're not talking about excluding a child because he is ugly or fat or anything that can't be helped. The hair cut is obviously against the nursery policy, and imo a line has to be drawn. Would you think it acceptable for girls to come in wearing makeup for example?

I'd bet any money that the mother was well aware of this policy but thought she'd get herself and her child a bit of fame and fortune if she went against it. I bet it says somewhere in the nursery contract that contravention of the rules could result in exclusion so she thought... result, get him a haircut they won't approve of, get him excluded and then the media can go to town and we'll be famous.

I feel quite strongly that if you send your child to a school, then you should stick to the dress code as set down by that school... be it hairstyles, religious jewellery or burkhas!

However, in this case, the news report does say that the mum checked with the school about a dress code and they said that there wasn't one in the nursery (or reception)

So... in that case, the school is being unreasonable and need to either put in place a dress code/uniform or they need to let the parents bring their children in whatever style of clothes, hair, jewellery, they like.

I just done think that it is right for a three year old to have a hair cut like this TBH. It must have taken ages and also I would love to know how she got him to sit still.

I think that the school are in the right to not accept something, if they think that it is unreasonable. There used to be a rule in my school about boys with hair that it could not be past their sholders.

I wouldnt do it to mine, but then they are curly and a lot longer. I suppose it is all about fashion and I wouldnt encourage a three year old to be fashion concious anyway

was just about to write exactly what JulesJules wrote. BUT would add if that is one of the nursery rules and she knew about it, then tough.... we don't have to like all the rules in life and the sooner kids learn that lesson the better IMO.

I don't get how the boy's hairstyle matters to the nursery, I think they are definately being unreasonable.

But I also think the mother probably wanted her boy to have that (stupid) haircut and is now trying to blame him for it.

I don't think parents need to say no unless is is to keep their children out of danger and follow certain codes of morally acceptable behaviour.

I bet the school wouldn't have banned the boy if he'd turned up in a pink tutu, yellow wellies, a crash helmet and a purple feather boa (as my DS once did).

Hah Bette! i wasn't owning up to who it was as i knew there would be scoffing

she should of said no if she knew that it would be against the rules of the nursery. If she was unaware then she now knows and should abide by the rules or take her son to a nursery that does acept this hairstyle if she does not agree with them

Ah, Ben Elton spoke much sense, F&Z!

tattoo

Saw the little chap in question on the news.
He looks fine, for an 80's throwback.

Ridiculous policy from the nursery.
The child has had a haircut, not a swastika tatoo on his forehead.

I'm sure all the media attention is not helpful for him though.
I hope he doesn't feel unhappy and isolated by the whole affair.