Mumsnet turning into Tattle

Yes that’s true, I’ve never ventured on to those threads. I only found Tattle when I noticed some massive inconsistencies in a certain person’s back story on Twitter and googled it to see whether anyone else had noticed it! The particular thread I found is fairly lightheaded and funny rather than abusive but I don’t venture anywhere else on the site!

I find tattle quite entertaining for the gossip. But posting photos of MN users - unknown members of the public - from the S&B board and pointing out their camel toes seems a bit much. And not really in keeping with a stated aim to expose influencers shilling crap to their followers which I thought was supposed to be the point of tattle. Of course if you put your photo on the internet for all to see you should understand anyone copy it and say whatever they like about it, but I struggle to understand how (presumably) grown woman justify this kind of thing to themselves.

Still reeling tbh

Not one poster said I sounded entitled or that they pitied my dh. Everyone was really helpful

You must have caught them on a good day 😂

Totally agree although I was pleasantly surprised by the thread I started in AIBU about my neck pain.

Not one poster said I sounded entitled or that they pitied my dh. Everyone was really helpful

Tattle is a gossip site. It’s what it’s there for. It doesn’t claim to be a place for support, or anything other than what it is. Some of the gossip goes far too far, some is absolutely vile, some is good humoured. But it’s fundamentally a site to gossip about people in the public eye. If that’s not what you want to do, you stay away.
Mumsnet markets itself as a site to support parents. That’s generally why people come here; they are looking for advice, support and comradeship. Instead the most innocuous of questions get pounced on. Small details in posts get pulled out and nit picked. People are passive aggressive in replies, and sometimes just plain aggressive. Pile ons are common.
They’re entirely different sites and there shouldn’t really be a comparison between the two, because their supposed aims and values are fundamentally different. I’ve stopped bothering asking on MN for support though, because I know I’m unlikely to get any.

In fairness. I'd say more of the critique on Tattle is good-humoured, if perhaps frighteningly forensic from some posters. I could easily screenshot some offensive posts from MN which could be taken out of context.

Any offensive remarks or rude comments about kids are shut down immediately or deleted. If you read any of the (600 odd) threads on Mrs Hinch (for example), the main theme is about protecting her kids. Do I think influencers should be posting photos of young kids in the bath or on the loo? Absolutely not. I also don't think they should be sharing personal medical details for their kids who are far too young to consent.

So I think criticising of Insta celebs who use their kids for monetary gain is fair enough. They deserve their privacy and to be protected. I don't agree with all of the posts on Tattle, as on MN, and people can be just as (if not more) critical and obnoxious on here. Except posters on MN are sharing personal information and looking for support, which isn't the same as actively going onto Tattle to read other people's views on you.

If I was a celeb, I wouldn't expect everyone to like me, particularly if the purpose of my Instagram account is to sell products. Nothing wrong with that, but they're not your best friend, you're a customer.

I can't find it. The poster obviously thinks it's some kind of 'gotcha' when it would only be a gotcha moment if like Tattle, it was a thread that stayed up and had hundreds of posts joining in being abusive. Then when it gets to 1000 posts another thread gets opened to continue the abuse. That post on MN will have had people say "you're out of order", reported it and it's deleted.

No-one's ever claimed there aren't nasty twats on MN, there are many. But you don't get gangs on threads going on for months talking about skanky fat shits and their thick fat pig children and not one person on the site seeming to think it's not okay to be that way.

That's pretty tame compared to some of the threads I've seen on Tattle.

That is disgusting. Presumably it's now been deleted?

LOL Saint Mumsnet

didn't even get a response and I reported plenty of them.

I've always had a response so that's strange? MN don't necessarily delete but they always send an email saying they are looking into it?

@EddieSteady

That's a very good balanced post, you make some excellent points

Many thanks for the direct response. For what it's worth I have reported threads under an account which has been long deleted. I didn't even get a response and I reported plenty of them.

One of the major issues isn't even your responsiveness to reports, it's the way you seem to respond to them handle them. I still think is pretty lacking when regardless of OP's posting history they have spewed some awful vitriol on vulnerable posters, making assumptions, derailing etc, and your only response is to shrug and say they are a long time poster so no harm done OR, where a poster has called something out on a thread, make veiled but pointed comments about other peoples responses which you have just done mine.

While I am on that point, I think publicly giving away detail (no matter how vague seeming) from what you can see behind the scenes like "you haven't made any reports" and "OP's IP address shows this poster is miles away from OP" is incredibly unprofessional - not to mention IP addresses are wholly unreliable with the uptake in VPN usage. Some of the MNHQ responses are actually FAR more impolite than my previous response (which only came across as so vicious because of the swear words sprinkled among it) and I have seen one moderator in particular get quite nasty to people when they are calling other people out instead of nipping it in the bud. In fact it just got peoples backs up and then they started on her!

Maybe trying to keep that fun, personal, jolly camaraderie and "we can see what's going on behind the scenes so have decided to comment publicly and directly in response to a poster," attitude is actually just coming across as incredibly snarky, dated and not in keeping with how much the internet, forums and social media has changed in 23 years since 2000? Because it's not the lovely cozy forum Justine Roberts and Co put together anymore and with that comes actually actively seeking out these posts and posters instead of the haphazard way moderation is being conducted at the moment (which seems to be at any one particular mods discretion instead of the mods following some kind of protocol MN have set out).

I had the same thing years ago too. Under another account.

BUT I know there were numerous complaints on MN at the time about MNetters getting threads pulled because they didn't like the answers and so even though that wasn't why I wanted it deleted - I wanted it deleted because some nasty people piled on and were being really abusive which was really making me feel panicked and anxious - I also saw how difficult it was for MODs trying to balance my request with all the posters at the time complaining about threads being deleted at the OPs request.

Suspected troll threads are difficult. Sometimes a thread is reported because it's similar in nature to previous proven troll threads but could be genuine. Dying children are always emotive as are cheated on wife threads which can run into dozens of threads where posters become hugely invested and it all gets out of hand.

I was around for the Olivers Army threads. And the David debacle. And the poster who I can't remember the name but she had little kids and a cheating husband who'd left and it ran into numerous threads. Mostly with MNetters cheerleading and begging for updates like the OP was someone they knew "so many of us here can't sleep worrying about your OP, please just let someone know you're okay". Lots of people said she was a troll, others said she wasn't. Doubt that we'll ever really know.

I've also seen MNetters rinsed for money by scammers and 'troll hunters' warning others, be deleted.

I don't think there's any conspiracy or mods ignoring things because the site benefits from clicks and traffic. I think A LOT of MNetters develop parasocial relationships with strangers online so champion them and jump on anyone expressing scepticism, as if they're defending their best friend.

And MN has always suffered under the idea that it's the only place that people can get help or support and so is hugely important. I remember when Anyfucker got briefly suspended for being rude and abrasive and posters were changing their user names to variations of AF and you had posters attacking mods and hysterically claiming that without her advice, women in abusive relationships could literally die.

So that's the site the mods are trying to manage. One where for every 'troll hunter' there are many, many more totally invested and accusing MN mods of potentially causing serious harm to someone if their threads get deleted.

It's a shit job where whatever they do, they'll piss people off and have wild dramatic accusations thrown at them.

The MASSIVE difference between Tattle and MN is that the subjects on Tattle can choose to see it or not.

On MN people come here for support and actively want to read responses. The fact some of those (if not most) of them are utterly vile makes it so much worse because the poster can't just choose not to see the scrutiny.

Then there are the posters that latch on to one totally irrelevant piece of info on a post and there is a massive pile on about it from others, the whole thing gets derailed and OP ends up with no actual advice at best or feeling really shit about themselves at worse.

Tattle are similar to how MN used to be if one of their users are seeking advice. Harshly honest but actually supportive and on topic.

I have no plans to leave Mumsnet (so reported the unsolicited message). While I don't care for the angry, toxic posters, the decent people make it worthwhile staying for.

The same thing happened to me years ago.

How about when people beg you to take their own threads down, when they’re being attacked or bullied, and you respond that you can’t do that because of debates on the internet?

I have had this previously under an account I deleted. I begged you to remove it and you said no because this was a public forum and such debates were healthy or some such. Many others have reported similar. It’s people real lives and just because a thread gets you lots of clicks should outweigh their emotions.

That's an excellent response MN. I haven't been always happy with the way some threads are moderated but you've addressed these points fairly & made good points.

Love MN mods suggesting reporting things when a big fucking obvious troll post that got repeatedly reported sat there until there were "privacy concerns" like it wasn't a clear ploy for money. If you were to sit there and report things on any given thread you would be here for hours MN. How about your mods do their fucking job and actually look in on these things?

MN forums need a big fucking overhaul IMO. It's not the sweet intimate little forum where the OG's could sit and be brutally honest and you could just let people crack on with conversation flow and NC as they see fit so they didn't out themselves.

The very nature of the internet and social media has changed drastically. Just letting things flow and people hide behind multiple names doesn't work anymore but MN are too busy trying to hold on to the nostalgia of what MN once was that they don't dare change it.

That's true enough 😂😂😂

there’s zero humour on MN.

I disagree. It's one of the things that keeps me here, how genuinely whip-smart & funny some MN posters are.