Please or to access all these features

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Anti-Dementors : The AD’s

317 replies

MinkyGreen · 15/03/2023 04:40

Anti-Dementirs. These are a long running group of threads on Mumsnet.
I’ve recently been on a Covid thread and felt attacked by a group of posters for stating a consensus science view.
I then looked into who this group are - and they have formed threads called the ‘Anti-Dementors”. Dementors being those who wore masks/followed lockdown rules.
The groups they perceive as ‘dementors’ are dismissed/ridiculed as putting ‘cheese in coffee’, - or sitting in their garden with laptops during lockdown. The fact is that many were vulnerable/protecting the vulnerable.
There us also support/links to publications like ‘Unherd’ and ‘State of Fear’ which are bordering conspiracy theory territory.

While I think the discourse is important - it makes me very uneasy when people form ‘echo chambers’ and ridicule/attack/make snide comments in a group towards those with opposing views.

I look forward to your response!

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 21/03/2023 10:14

The ganging up has been somewhat toned down on this thread, I would imagine because big Mumsnet is watching

I think they’ve probably just stopped bothering replying because it’s a boring, circular conversation and you are just repeating the same points over and over without saying what you actually want anyone to do about it.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 21/03/2023 10:08

Apart from the 'boohoo women weren't being nice to other women' and accusations of ganging up (which all feels a bit like being back in the playground) I can't see what OP wants here. It strikes me it's just another version of 'women, be kind' along with a wish to re-write history. OP is throwing around a lot of accusations about people's behaviour three years ago which has been thoroughly rebutted by numerous posters. It's a very one-sided view that ignores the real venom and abuse directed at anyone who dissented even mildly from the covid narrative and frankly, I can't see OP's point.

DanceMonster · 21/03/2023 07:03

TeenDivided · 21/03/2023 06:58

The ADs weren't even particularly anti lockdown.
They were anti 'make up your own ridiculous restrictions' and also anti 'we're all going to die on the streets, there is no hope' scaremongering.

Quite. It appears though that the OP doesn’t think any dissenting views re lockdown should be expressed on MN.

TeenDivided · 21/03/2023 06:58

The ADs weren't even particularly anti lockdown.
They were anti 'make up your own ridiculous restrictions' and also anti 'we're all going to die on the streets, there is no hope' scaremongering.

DanceMonster · 21/03/2023 06:45

You’ve said you don’t want those threads deleting… so what do you want? What are you hoping @HopeMumsnet is going to do here?

DanceMonster · 21/03/2023 06:43

99% sure there are PBPs? What are you basing that on?
Do you think people who are/were anti lockdown shouldn’t be allowed to express those opinions, @MinkyGreen ? Do you think only one view of the pandemic measures is acceptable?

MinkyGreen · 21/03/2023 06:35

@@HopeMumsnet

The ganging up has been somewhat toned down on this thread, I would imagine because big Mumsnet is watching.

I’m 99% sure there are previously banned posters on the AD thread. I would imagine for posting misinformation and attacking others in the past.

I rarely see that sort of behaviour from what would be the opposing stance - bans, ridiculing etc. Or certainly not to the extent that threads and threads and threads have been written to mock and ridicule.

i

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 21/03/2023 06:25

Im fairly sure that support for the Telegraph/Unherd etc aren’t against the rules of the site. It’s not a dictatorship where only one view is allowed. I don’t support those institutions myself, but others are allowed to.

DanceMonster · 21/03/2023 06:23

MinkyGreen · 21/03/2023 06:12

@HopeMumsnet

Oh the ganging up happens on the Covid threads. I’m being mocked on an earlier post on here about a ‘call to arms’. I’m not saying they contact each other behind the scenes, but they’ve clearly ‘ganged up’ here - and on the Covid threads.

And the general theme is support for The Telegraph, Unherd, Great Barrington Declaration, accusations of cheese in coffee, lockdown supporters being of a particular social
class, weaponising suicide rates/abuse cases to support an anti lockdown stance.

I did not ’mock’ you re the call to arms. I asked you a question.
Anyway, @HopeMumsnet responded earlier in the thread that if there are posts you’re concerned about, then report them and they’ll take a look. Sounds like a good way forward for everyone.

MinkyGreen · 21/03/2023 06:12

@HopeMumsnet

Oh the ganging up happens on the Covid threads. I’m being mocked on an earlier post on here about a ‘call to arms’. I’m not saying they contact each other behind the scenes, but they’ve clearly ‘ganged up’ here - and on the Covid threads.

And the general theme is support for The Telegraph, Unherd, Great Barrington Declaration, accusations of cheese in coffee, lockdown supporters being of a particular social
class, weaponising suicide rates/abuse cases to support an anti lockdown stance.

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 18/03/2023 18:25

KnittingNeedles · 18/03/2023 18:20

I’m still struggling to understand why this wasn’t raised at the time rather than the op waiting for 3 years to claim victimisation.

The OP had no idea about the threads at the time. She’s gone trawling back through them and found things she feels personally offended by, even though none of it was aimed at her.

KnittingNeedles · 18/03/2023 18:20

I’m still struggling to understand why this wasn’t raised at the time rather than the op waiting for 3 years to claim victimisation.

WestwardHo1 · 18/03/2023 18:12

MinkyGreen · 18/03/2023 10:50

There you go! Best answer is : ‘an emoji’.

No, I've already answered you many times with actual words. You haven't acknowledged any of it

MarshaBradyo · 18/03/2023 17:02

CoffeeWithCheese · 18/03/2023 15:03

It wasn't crazy - it was fucking evil at times.

I recall local to us someone had called the police to report a lockdown breech - a couple of family members had walked up a garden path to collect a bag hung on the front door handle... the bag contained shirts for the family members to wear to go and bury their father.

People were awful. On here, people were awful with time on their hands and a keyboard to hide behind. I barely left the house for 6 months once masks came in because of the insults and accusations on here (we saw them earlier but MN actually had a pair of balls and pulled them) about people claiming exemption... I'm autistic - I can't even deal with the sensation when a duvet comes up above chin level rebreathing moist warm air... I've had to fight over a couple of years to build up tolerance to a point I can have some semblance of a career left from the damned things.

And the responses to children suffering - on here they were foul. DD2 lost most of her language and was absolutely a wreck - to the point where she was having such severe headaches they were concerned about possible brain tumours, and she couldn't sleep, couldn't eat or anything because of how depressed she was... and on here I was accused of wanting to murder teachers and that she needed to learn resilience. She lost that amount of language and development DESPITE having a communication rich house with a parent who had a very good skill set to support - but who was never able to be a class of 30 separate 7 year olds with that level of interaction. Absolutely fucking foul on here the way desperate parents were treated. I remember spending night after night trying to contact any organisation or help desk I could for some advice how to support the decline in my child's mental health - no one was either answering their phones, or their responses were that they were seeing this time and time again and couldn't do anything to help but it was definitely "a thing"... it was only when the class teacher spoke to DD on the phone and heard the massive deterioration in her that school listened at all to how badly she was being affected (as a child with SEN as well so she should have been on their radar) - and she basically went to war with the head teacher to get her a school place. DD1 coped "better" - if by better you mean that she was completely thrown by the boundaries between school and home blurred to the point she was physically violent to those trying to enforce home learning - largely me, who would spend my nights trying to work out ways to support them, and my days trying to do my own degree, support home learning and getting the shit kicked out of me by a child.

Incidentally I'm still working picking up the consequences of it all - vulnerable people who were so terrified into not leaving their rooms (or indeed are still randomly confined to their rooms for a week + at a time when there's an outbreak in their care homes) and lost so much of the groups and activities that they would go to that they now won't leave their home at all and spend their days with alternative activities - like smacking their heads off brick walls and similar. We spent months and months convincing them that the bogeyman was around ever corner - and now, not surprisingly, they're struggling to reconcile that with expectations changing yet again that things are relatively OK. Not to mention that in lots of cases these are people with limited communication, who rely on things like facial expression and routine to support their understanding - who found all that gone, and are still surrounded by masked faces all day every day (although most of the times the masks seem to be protecting the wearer's chin mainly these days).

It wasn't crazy - it was fucking evil at times.

True. There were some absolute horrors.

CoffeeWithCheese · 18/03/2023 16:57

Overthinkingnotdrinking · 18/03/2023 16:24

Looking at the thread you were actually called a ‘midwit’.

On that thread you were calling out the GBD academics as being far right, when one of them is a socialist who has researched health outcomes for poor people his entire career. On that thread you were accusing people of being far right and trying to smear any scientist or journalist who opposed lock down as being far right. I’m sorry you feel so bruised but why didn’t you report the posts at the time?

Probably too busy shaming number 57 for not clapping enthusiastically enough and compiling a tally chart of how many times the dog in the flats opposite was taken out for a wee in a 24 hour period.

Overthinkingnotdrinking · 18/03/2023 16:24

Looking at the thread you were actually called a ‘midwit’.

On that thread you were calling out the GBD academics as being far right, when one of them is a socialist who has researched health outcomes for poor people his entire career. On that thread you were accusing people of being far right and trying to smear any scientist or journalist who opposed lock down as being far right. I’m sorry you feel so bruised but why didn’t you report the posts at the time?

JenniferBooth · 18/03/2023 15:12

@MinkyGreen Protection from Harassment Act? You are joking right. What i experienced at Christmas 2020 was much closer to this I got PMed through fb several times by a man id never physically met who asked me if i had spent Christmas with my family and then asked if i was still following the rules,and how we should all follow the rules unlike some. It was fucking creepy. A man PMing a woman he has never physically met late at night to make sure ask if she is still following the rules.

CoffeeWithCheese · 18/03/2023 15:06

JenniferBooth · 18/03/2023 15:04

@Worldgonecrazy The only reason i can think of for wanting the threads deleted all of a sudden three years later is because we are getting closer to the whitewash enquiry. I bet certain quarters would love to point to Mumsnet and say that a very popular parenting site was largely supportive of the restrictions and the AD threads being wiped from existence would help with that especially when/IF the enquiry cover how children were affected.

Yep I think there's now a huge element of people wanting history rewritten and not wanting to admit what kind of a world they clapped and cheered for going on.

JenniferBooth · 18/03/2023 15:04

@Worldgonecrazy The only reason i can think of for wanting the threads deleted all of a sudden three years later is because we are getting closer to the whitewash enquiry. I bet certain quarters would love to point to Mumsnet and say that a very popular parenting site was largely supportive of the restrictions and the AD threads being wiped from existence would help with that especially when/IF the enquiry cover how children were affected.

CoffeeWithCheese · 18/03/2023 15:03

MarshaBradyo · 18/03/2023 13:21

Mn was crazy. I’ve been here a fair while now (I put that on big gaps between dc) and it was overrun with posters that only pushed one thing. Harsher restrictions. No idea where they’ve gone now but seem to have since cleared out.

It was frustrating knowing the damage but just getting the worst kind of attacks from certain groups.

It’s a good record if anyone asks in time wth were they thinking to react in this way.

It wasn't crazy - it was fucking evil at times.

I recall local to us someone had called the police to report a lockdown breech - a couple of family members had walked up a garden path to collect a bag hung on the front door handle... the bag contained shirts for the family members to wear to go and bury their father.

People were awful. On here, people were awful with time on their hands and a keyboard to hide behind. I barely left the house for 6 months once masks came in because of the insults and accusations on here (we saw them earlier but MN actually had a pair of balls and pulled them) about people claiming exemption... I'm autistic - I can't even deal with the sensation when a duvet comes up above chin level rebreathing moist warm air... I've had to fight over a couple of years to build up tolerance to a point I can have some semblance of a career left from the damned things.

And the responses to children suffering - on here they were foul. DD2 lost most of her language and was absolutely a wreck - to the point where she was having such severe headaches they were concerned about possible brain tumours, and she couldn't sleep, couldn't eat or anything because of how depressed she was... and on here I was accused of wanting to murder teachers and that she needed to learn resilience. She lost that amount of language and development DESPITE having a communication rich house with a parent who had a very good skill set to support - but who was never able to be a class of 30 separate 7 year olds with that level of interaction. Absolutely fucking foul on here the way desperate parents were treated. I remember spending night after night trying to contact any organisation or help desk I could for some advice how to support the decline in my child's mental health - no one was either answering their phones, or their responses were that they were seeing this time and time again and couldn't do anything to help but it was definitely "a thing"... it was only when the class teacher spoke to DD on the phone and heard the massive deterioration in her that school listened at all to how badly she was being affected (as a child with SEN as well so she should have been on their radar) - and she basically went to war with the head teacher to get her a school place. DD1 coped "better" - if by better you mean that she was completely thrown by the boundaries between school and home blurred to the point she was physically violent to those trying to enforce home learning - largely me, who would spend my nights trying to work out ways to support them, and my days trying to do my own degree, support home learning and getting the shit kicked out of me by a child.

Incidentally I'm still working picking up the consequences of it all - vulnerable people who were so terrified into not leaving their rooms (or indeed are still randomly confined to their rooms for a week + at a time when there's an outbreak in their care homes) and lost so much of the groups and activities that they would go to that they now won't leave their home at all and spend their days with alternative activities - like smacking their heads off brick walls and similar. We spent months and months convincing them that the bogeyman was around ever corner - and now, not surprisingly, they're struggling to reconcile that with expectations changing yet again that things are relatively OK. Not to mention that in lots of cases these are people with limited communication, who rely on things like facial expression and routine to support their understanding - who found all that gone, and are still surrounded by masked faces all day every day (although most of the times the masks seem to be protecting the wearer's chin mainly these days).

JenniferBooth · 18/03/2023 14:43

YY @FrostyFifi It was horrific

www.mumsnet.com/talk/coronavirus/3991985-Rape-survivors-being-castigated-for-not-wearing-masks

Buzzinwithbez · 18/03/2023 13:37

I'd forgotten how crazy and so damaging to be away from friends and family and the sense of perspective feel that's how a lot of people felt, from the link bogoff just shared.

It was really odd reading about how we were supposed to be keeping each other safe but in reality lots of people vocally didn't care if someone had diabetes and needed to eat, or needed to rest on a bench. Or whatever. I found that really difficult to square up.

MarshaBradyo · 18/03/2023 13:21

Mn was crazy. I’ve been here a fair while now (I put that on big gaps between dc) and it was overrun with posters that only pushed one thing. Harsher restrictions. No idea where they’ve gone now but seem to have since cleared out.

It was frustrating knowing the damage but just getting the worst kind of attacks from certain groups.

It’s a good record if anyone asks in time wth were they thinking to react in this way.

Buzzinwithbez · 18/03/2023 13:20

I could see it getting heated here and felt like it was going round in circles. I'd hoped to offer some calm but can see it was taken the wrong way and inflamed things.

Swipe left for the next trending thread