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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

References to underage sex on Sex board

362 replies

BenCoopersSupportWren · 23/02/2023 23:02

I haven’t been following the Sex topics in Active furore too closely, beyond agreeing on one of the early threads that it would be better for the Board to revert to the way it was - out of Active, with a longer qualifying time to be able to post.

However I’ve just read a thread which, on the face of it, is just reminiscing about posters’ ‘first times’ but which includes numerous disclosures of underage sex, including some that involved grooming, and one or two that are genuinely heartbreaking testimonies of child sexual abuse. They are particularly jarring interspersed as they are between end-of-pier type humour and jokes of others’ experience.

As I just posted there: “there is a reason most ‘mainstream’ dedicated end-user sex sites like Literotica, BDSMLR etc don’t allow stories or posts that are explicit about underage sex even when clearly written by adults, and will remove such posts when brought to the moderators’ attention. I used to work in the CJS and I’m afraid to say that such descriptions - even when expressed in short and simple terms - have currency among paedophiles. Part of my job was keeping the video testimony of CSA victims and any associated transcripts locked away so that they didn’t fall into the wrong hands. Unfortunately it’s not just explicit photos and videos that they get off to.”

For clarity, by “explicit about underage sex” I mean making specific reference to, not that the material has to be particularly sexually explicit. The exact same thread would simply not be allowed to stand on Literotica’s chat forum, for example.

While there have always been examples in other parts of the site of posters making disclosures of having been abused, that is a very different thing to sharing it in a section that only the most naive or wilfully obtuse would deny will be used in part for titillation. My issue isn’t that the thread is particularly sexually explicit - it mostly isn’t, and I’m pretty broad-minded… in context. But no one could argue that “where did you lose your virginity?” is masquerading as a support / how to / informative thread; it’s for entertainment and kicks only, be the latter humour or a sexual thrill. (A few posters on that thread have been supportive to those who disclosed their abuse, but ‘support’ is clearly not the original purpose of the thread.)

IMO it is extremely remiss of MN to disregard the ‘good practice’ rules that other sex sites maintain for handling material relating to references to underage sex/CSA, both because of the type of person attracted to those sites if such rules aren’t in place and from a liability / arse-covering perspective. This, combined with the lack of any age verification or warning for that part of the site, makes it even more obvious that MN don’t understand what is involved in safely and legally hosting a ‘sex chat site’ or part thereof.

OP posts:
MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 22:09

Could you answer this one then, @JustineMumsnet Has Mumsnet's mission officially altered? Will you be changing the website to reflect the changes as highlighted by @LangClegsInSpace for the sake of honesty and clarity?

kath7510 · 24/02/2023 21:59

MLM and sex toys hey. Not really in the spirit is it?

I and others are out. PM me if you want to come with.

justasking111 · 24/02/2023 21:59

Has Ann summers bought Mumsnet then?

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:57

Yes, Ann Summers is indeed an MLM company.
Now branded as a 'sisterhood' HA! 🤢

References to underage sex on Sex board
parlourb · 24/02/2023 21:52

WombsofWimbledon · 24/02/2023 06:33

Ergh. The men on there stick out like a… oh never mind. I wonder what the point is at this stage. Money talks, obviously. Yuck.

Yea , this . Classy mumsnet , real classy.

TangledWebOfDeception · 24/02/2023 21:49

beastlyslumber · 24/02/2023 21:43

What the fuck? Jesus. That is not okay.

Just for clarity, my comment above relates to this.

monomatapea · 24/02/2023 21:47

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:44

I should also have bolded 'multi-level marketing schemes'

Ann Summers is an MLM.

Is it? Didn't know that

TangledWebOfDeception · 24/02/2023 21:47

God @LangClegsInSpace that's rather grim isn’t it.

Ah well. TBH if I decide to leave for good I’ll do so quite happily without a backward glance. I’m sure that ultimately MNHQ won’t give one (nasty, sleazy) fuck that I’m gone either!

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:45

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:37

And speaking of MN staff there will be a lot of lowly mods who are now required to wade through all the grim shit on the sex topic and moderate it in accordance with the new lax standards.

The decision to invite back the hook up thread featured @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet saying 'Have at it! 🍆'

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/4659915-deleted-sexchat-thread?page=2&reply=120928194

I wonder how many of the other mods were similarly enthusiastic.

Mumsnetters are being used as de facto moderators as the people behind the scenes are seemingly happy to leave anything standing unless it's reported. If all the 'pearl-clutchers' up and leave, what kind of content will be left?

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:44

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:26

This page reads like a work of fiction now:

www.mumsnet.com/i/about-us

@JustineMumsnet said in the video:

We put purpose before profits genuinely so we only have five things we want to do and only one of them is about revenue, and even then, it's sustainable revenue. So for us, revenue isn't revenue unless it's something that doesn't harm our community, our brand, our staff. So yes, we're focused, basically we want to make a great thing that offers solutions and makes parents' lives easier, and then if we can make a buck out of it we will. It's not the other way round.

Under 'Our Advertising Policy' the page says:

Mumsnet is a business funded mainly by advertising and we try to be a profitable one but our overarching aim is not the pursuit of profits. We are independently owned and we endeavour to conduct business in an ethical manner.

With this in mind, we won’t accept advertising from companies, for products or in formats that we believe are contrary to our mission – which is to make parents’ lives easier. Examples of the types of advertisers we turn away include payday loan companies, cryptocurrencies, pornographic content, and multi-level marketing schemes. The types of product advertising that we turn down are gambling, follow-on formula milk (designed to avoid the ban on formula milk advertising), and products that we think make women or children feel bad about their bodies or that play on boring gender stereotypes. (my bolds)

I should also have bolded 'multi-level marketing schemes'

Ann Summers is an MLM.

beastlyslumber · 24/02/2023 21:43

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:37

And speaking of MN staff there will be a lot of lowly mods who are now required to wade through all the grim shit on the sex topic and moderate it in accordance with the new lax standards.

The decision to invite back the hook up thread featured @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet saying 'Have at it! 🍆'

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/4659915-deleted-sexchat-thread?page=2&reply=120928194

I wonder how many of the other mods were similarly enthusiastic.

What the fuck? Jesus. That is not okay.

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:38

Cheers @beastlyslumber

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:37

And speaking of MN staff there will be a lot of lowly mods who are now required to wade through all the grim shit on the sex topic and moderate it in accordance with the new lax standards.

The decision to invite back the hook up thread featured @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet saying 'Have at it! 🍆'

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/4659915-deleted-sexchat-thread?page=2&reply=120928194

I wonder how many of the other mods were similarly enthusiastic.

beastlyslumber · 24/02/2023 21:30

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:11

What a disappointing reply @JustineMumsnet

If anybody legs it somewhere else that is FWR friendly could you please let me know?

@BenCoopersSupportWren @ProbablyNotAGoodIdea @LangClegsInSpace
@Clymene @beastlyslumber @TangledWebOfDeception

I would be most grateful.

I've already had a couple of invites to somewhere. If it seems like a good place, I'll let you know!

justasking111 · 24/02/2023 21:29

Well certain types of media are going to shred us if they go to print. 🙈

TangledWebOfDeception · 24/02/2023 21:28

I do not accept naïveté as a defence anymore. You don’t get to play that card.

LangClegsInSpace · 24/02/2023 21:26

This page reads like a work of fiction now:

www.mumsnet.com/i/about-us

@JustineMumsnet said in the video:

We put purpose before profits genuinely so we only have five things we want to do and only one of them is about revenue, and even then, it's sustainable revenue. So for us, revenue isn't revenue unless it's something that doesn't harm our community, our brand, our staff. So yes, we're focused, basically we want to make a great thing that offers solutions and makes parents' lives easier, and then if we can make a buck out of it we will. It's not the other way round.

Under 'Our Advertising Policy' the page says:

Mumsnet is a business funded mainly by advertising and we try to be a profitable one but our overarching aim is not the pursuit of profits. We are independently owned and we endeavour to conduct business in an ethical manner.

With this in mind, we won’t accept advertising from companies, for products or in formats that we believe are contrary to our mission – which is to make parents’ lives easier. Examples of the types of advertisers we turn away include payday loan companies, cryptocurrencies, pornographic content, and multi-level marketing schemes. The types of product advertising that we turn down are gambling, follow-on formula milk (designed to avoid the ban on formula milk advertising), and products that we think make women or children feel bad about their bodies or that play on boring gender stereotypes. (my bolds)

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 24/02/2023 21:24

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:15

One card not laid on the table...the collaborations with the Shrek's ear wokebros and Ann Summers, and whether they had any influence on all this.

The only card that makes sense to fill in the blanks between 'we had massive negative feedback and may have been naive in not anticipating the consequences' and 'we're keeping it this way though'

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 24/02/2023 21:22

MNHQ are also happy to allow a thread that started as ‘my bloke doesn’t like my selling my soiled clothes online’ but rapidly moved on to ‘where do you sell them and can I sell mine’ (multiple posters). So now - whilst I don’t doubt the OP was genuine - MN is helping women into sex work. Lovely. Can’t imagine the sort of user having a lovely time on that thread.

(I have reported. Got called a ‘spoilsport’ and ‘uptight’ for it …).

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 24/02/2023 21:22

justasking111 · 24/02/2023 20:53

Isn't that a police matter?

That's sort of the point of this thread - well the overriding aim is to protect women, but reading the OP's posts shows they're highlighting how badly MN are failing in their duty and responsibility and this does lead to harmful, potentially illegal material getting posted on the site. And deleted hours later, only because some posters regret it apparently. At least one criminal act comitted by an adult man against an underage girl was confessed on that thread - actually described in gloating detail - and MN seem to be saying they don't have a problem with that in itself.

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:15

One card not laid on the table...the collaborations with the Shrek's ear wokebros and Ann Summers, and whether they had any influence on all this.

MassiveWordSalad · 24/02/2023 21:11

What a disappointing reply @JustineMumsnet

If anybody legs it somewhere else that is FWR friendly could you please let me know?

@BenCoopersSupportWren @ProbablyNotAGoodIdea @LangClegsInSpace
@Clymene @beastlyslumber @TangledWebOfDeception

I would be most grateful.

TheShellBeach · 24/02/2023 21:06

"Are you looking at the same topic? There are a couple of threads on page 1 of the sex topic that meet this description but the majority are something else"

Quite. And then there's the hook-up thread............. something else entirely.

ComeTheFckOnBridget · 24/02/2023 21:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

justasking111 · 24/02/2023 20:53

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 24/02/2023 20:46

Descriptions of it, yes.

Isn't that a police matter?

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