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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Posters hiding the sex board won't change MN dynamics.

219 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 23/02/2023 10:17

This new policy of 'if you don't like it, don't look' doesn't seem to be about making Mumsnet a safer place more welcoming and inclusive place, it seems to be more about 'look the other way if you are offended'.

One issue with this is that once threads get into active, people then post in the wrong place. Explicit threads won't stay on the Sex board, they will migrate onto chat and AIBU and anywhere that gets more views. We see this all the time with various topics.

Changing the policy so that you only need to have been a member for 7 days before posting on creates another issue of course. It is much much easier for sex trolls to join and start harassing people and messaging them off board. I guess that might help revenue if you are getting streams of re-registering sex trolls coming in.

MN used to take safeguarding seriously.

I also think this actually will exclude people from getting support. You now either have to choose to hide the board and therefore if you have a question or an issue about sex, you can't ask in the right place. Or you have to enable it and see every conversation.

Imagine if you are a Mum with young kids, sex has gone down the pan and you want some advice. You might not want your partner to see it. Your choice is: hide the topic and don't get that help you'd like. Or enable it and risk your kids or your partner seeing the threads on your screen.

This is a separate conversation to the very valuable safeguarding conversation about the sex chat threads.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2023 23:00

MNHQ will do what they want, a few members will leave because of it and then it'll be business as usual.

But at least because of all of these threads a lot more posters will know what might await them if they do choose to post in the Sex Topic. Like the fact that people only have to wait 7 days after signing up rather than the 90 days it used to be. That was a surprise to everyone.

DuplicateUserName · 23/02/2023 22:54

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2023 22:46

I see there are now 14 out of 25 threads on the first page of site stuff that are about the sex topic or the general sexing up of Mumsnet.

This is not going away.

I believe it will go away, just as other things that have angered MNetters in the past have gone away.

MNHQ will do what they want, a few members will leave because of it and then it'll be business as usual.

It's the way it's always been.

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2023 22:46

I see there are now 14 out of 25 threads on the first page of site stuff that are about the sex topic or the general sexing up of Mumsnet.

This is not going away.

LucyLeave · 23/02/2023 22:40

JustWantedToSayThis · 23/02/2023 22:33

You made quite a few posts there this morning.

Even it was to 'voice your disapproval', that smacks of 'I only read the Daily Mail for the celeb gossip'. It still makes you a Daily Mail reader 🙄

You were certainly doing a great job of keeping the sex topic in active from what I could see.

Does it matter? The sex board will come up in Active whether its poor Nigel from Norfolk not getting any so needs a lady to chat too or someone disapproving.

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2023 22:39

Looks like the new improved Sexchat thread has stalled somewhat. Maybe it will be gone of it's own accord.

JustWantedToSayThis · 23/02/2023 22:33

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:42

I do not post there.

You made quite a few posts there this morning.

Even it was to 'voice your disapproval', that smacks of 'I only read the Daily Mail for the celeb gossip'. It still makes you a Daily Mail reader 🙄

You were certainly doing a great job of keeping the sex topic in active from what I could see.

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 22:27

LucyLeave · 23/02/2023 22:25

It was so easy to spot the pervy trolls on MN. Now any ole perv can post in the sex topic and any reports are dismissed.

Just as our dismay over the board's existence is dismissed.

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2023 22:26

I can't see anything changing TBH. Well they might stop the Sex Topic appearing in Active once the promotional stuff ends. But that's about it.

LucyLeave · 23/02/2023 22:25

Octopusmittens · 23/02/2023 22:21

The whole atmosphere and dynamic of the site is changing, why doesn’t Mumsnet change its name to ‘Hairyhandedtruckersnet’ and have done with it.

It was so easy to spot the pervy trolls on MN. Now any ole perv can post in the sex topic and any reports are dismissed.

Octopusmittens · 23/02/2023 22:21

The whole atmosphere and dynamic of the site is changing, why doesn’t Mumsnet change its name to ‘Hairyhandedtruckersnet’ and have done with it.

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 22:17

I think it's time to deregister.
This is so depressing.

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2023 22:14

LucyLeave · 23/02/2023 21:20

No one thinks MN is a safe space. That doesn't mean it has to join the rest of the internet and become a hook up site for mostly men.

Yes, this.

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2023 22:14

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2023 22:12

I was either too general or too particular. It's a tightrope!

It really is!

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2023 22:12

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2023 21:12

I did wonder exactly what your crime was there. Grin

I was either too general or too particular. It's a tightrope!

LangClegsInSpace · 23/02/2023 22:11

It's really important that women are able to name male patterns of behaviour on a woman-centred site like MN without this being taken as a personal attack on any particular poster, or how else can we talk about it?

If we talk in the abstract we are accused of making it up, pearl clutching, being hysterical bla bla. If we give examples then it's a personal attack.

This thread is about the way the sex topic, as currently set up, affects the dynamic across the whole forum: how it affects the culture of MN.

Nobody here expects a 'safe space' we just don't want the red carpet rolled out for men and we want to be able to say what's happening without being deleted.

Rhondaa · 23/02/2023 22:05

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:57

Only to register disapproval.

Ah.

Well as I said your feelings are of course valid but posting there would seem silly. Why do you think registering your disapproval is appropriate or necessary? Keep your neb out, this shaming and a pp sneering 'cool wives' is really unpleasant.

Ironically those complaining the loudest seem the more unpleasant than those posting there.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 23/02/2023 22:02

I used the wrong term in 'safe space', I was trying to verbalise a feeling of being pushed out, where by putting a thread in there is liable to make a person feel actively vulnerable.

OP posts:
Surplus2requirements · 23/02/2023 22:02

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:57

Only to register disapproval.

And the posts in other threads on the board?

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:57

Rhondaa · 23/02/2023 21:48

You've posted on the sex chat thread?

Only to register disapproval.

Rhondaa · 23/02/2023 21:48

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:42

I do not post there.

You've posted on the sex chat thread?

PinotPony · 23/02/2023 21:47

@TheShellBeach "I do not post there."

You're on there more than me! 😂🤣

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 23/02/2023 21:42

@BIWI yes I do, and the bottom line always has been the money no matter how it was dressed up. Somethings are worth taking the financial hit, others not so much.

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:42

Rhondaa · 23/02/2023 21:40

Your feelings are valid but the point is you do not have to go there. I believe you actually post there?

Lots of threads and sites I don't like but I don't take it as a personal insult, just isn't for me. I think you need to hide the sex board.

I do not post there.

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:41

SunnyDaysAheadGang · 23/02/2023 21:34

I never even knew about the creepy sex chat. So GRIM!

Everything on the sex board is grim.

Rhondaa · 23/02/2023 21:40

TheShellBeach · 23/02/2023 21:36

I'll tell you what upsets me.
It's being told that our feelings about the sex board are not valid.
And of course, it's mainly men who are telling us this. As usual, men tell us what we can and can't feel.

Your feelings are valid but the point is you do not have to go there. I believe you actually post there?

Lots of threads and sites I don't like but I don't take it as a personal insult, just isn't for me. I think you need to hide the sex board.