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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Sex board in Active and Ann Summers

181 replies

AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 17:37

Hi @MNHQ

As the previous thread about the sex board being in Active is almost full after a lot of discussion, I think a few of us were hoping you could address the main concerns arising:

  • firstly and most importantly, it seems that no one wants it in Active. Posters on the sex board and off are widely agreeing across all threads that it was better not showing in Active for many reasons. It's making everyone's experience worse.
  • secondly, we'd like to know to what extent Ann Summers and other advertisers have dictated the change in the sex board's visibility and the change in users being required to register three months prior to being able to post on the sex board to seven days. The 'reigniting intimacy' promotional piece seems to suggest this is a deliberate choice to bring the forum 'inline with [Ann Summers'] Pleasure Positivity Project'. Given the response to previous threads on Ann Summers in 2021 and 2022, they are not popular with many site users and their maternity/postpartum promotion might be considered to be unhelpful and unsupportive of new mothers and very much not in the spirit of MN.
  • the sex board hosts a sexchat thread which invites users to contact each other via DM for explicit conversation and then move to other platforms to continue. There are no safety warnings or age verification on the sex board and this puts users at risk of predators exploiting MN's trustworthy reputation, particularly given the change in registration requirements
  • finally, a lot of us wonder why MN have done such a u turn on the sex board, having argued initially that it would attract trolls. How and why did this change?
OP posts:
AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 22:49

CPL593H · 22/02/2023 22:31

Quite a large number of members have voiced the concerns outlined in the op over numerous threads in the last week and there has been no real reply from MNHQ, other than to say they are reading and aware of them. Can I ask when we can possibly expect sort of response, @MNHQ?

It's really not enough for them to say they wanted to try it out with no explanation of why, particularly in light of MN's own previously expressed concerns regarding this bringing trolls to the site.

It's not believable that it isn't influenced by advertisers when MN themselves have explicitly linked the presence of the Sex topic to Ann Summers in at least one of their promoted posts.

It's pretty appalling they haven't addressed safety on the sex chat thread beyond 'report PMs'.

It's disappointing they won't comment on the suitability of having a hook up thread for married men on a site designed to support parents.

OP posts:
CPL593H · 22/02/2023 22:45

Sorry, somehow missed @LilyMumsnet post

"We wanted to try Sex in active" really doesn't cut it I'm afraid as a response, especially as it coincided with the whole Shrek's Ear campaign.

Can I ask as others have why the posting restriction on that board has been reduced to 7 days?

DancingLedgend · 22/02/2023 22:42

@MNHQ are you 'Grey rocking' us?

CPL593H · 22/02/2023 22:31

Quite a large number of members have voiced the concerns outlined in the op over numerous threads in the last week and there has been no real reply from MNHQ, other than to say they are reading and aware of them. Can I ask when we can possibly expect sort of response, @MNHQ?

DancingLedgend · 22/02/2023 22:22

@AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace thank you for articulating so well what so many of us are feeling.

After many years, I deleted Mumsnet soley over this issue,
Only back here as distraction from a family issue that is distressing me.

@PurpleParrotfish exactly.

@MNHQ are you determined to kill the goose that's laying the golden eggs for you, and destroy the community of posters , that have together been such a progressive support for SO many women?
You would do this for profit?
Shame on you @MNHQ
This is the ultimate ' not in the spirit'

Xrays · 22/02/2023 22:15

PurpleParrotfish · 22/02/2023 21:59

Also would like an answer to this. There’s such a big difference between “here’s a relatively safe space for MN users to talk about sex issues” and effectively inviting all the trolls and pervy men on the internet in.

And yet they are still very quick to delete threads about period pants for teens for example (that was a recent one that went whoosh) on the basis that it might attract the wrong people. But no worry they can all join the sex chat and any hole is a goal…. 🙄

MothralovesGojira · 22/02/2023 22:10

@LilyMumsnet
Thank you for the MN reply albeit a rather mealy mouthed one.
I keep reiterating this but topics are only hidden in active threads of you are logged in and I would like to have a choice about whether I log in or not.

I presume a settling in period is in the hope that this all becomes 'normal' to us all and we stop complaining? Or forget about it? Browsing the active threads should be safe but I'm starting to feel as if this is an abusive relationship and I am being forced into accepting something that I don't want. How long is this settling period to be? I think that it's only fair to say or shall I just deregister now?

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 22:09

PurpleParrotfish · 22/02/2023 21:59

Also would like an answer to this. There’s such a big difference between “here’s a relatively safe space for MN users to talk about sex issues” and effectively inviting all the trolls and pervy men on the internet in.

I completely agree. And particularly when their thread titles will default to appearing in active. I am no prude, but when I am idly browsing Mumsnet while I eat my cornflakes I don't want to see threads about rimming in active convos. (Or pictures of Terry Wogan's package for that matter - glares at @EmpressaurusOfCats Grin )

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 22:02

AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 21:49

Except the man himself, @SweetSakura , I imagine that's exactly what he'd like the best!

Grin
PurpleParrotfish · 22/02/2023 21:59

Okunevo · 22/02/2023 21:17

No update on why the three month minimum registration is now just 7 days?

Also would like an answer to this. There’s such a big difference between “here’s a relatively safe space for MN users to talk about sex issues” and effectively inviting all the trolls and pervy men on the internet in.

BIWI · 22/02/2023 21:50

I had just about managed to forget that @EmpressaurusOfCats Shock

EmpressaurusOfCats · 22/02/2023 21:49

Or this. Does anyone else remember when Terry Wogan was all over the boards….

Sex board in Active and Ann Summers
AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 21:49

Except the man himself, @SweetSakura , I imagine that's exactly what he'd like the best!

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 21:47

AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 21:45

Now you've put Boris Johnson and the sex board together, what an unholy mental image.

Also, if no safeguarding measures do get put in place on the sex chat thread, posting pictures of Boris on there might be sufficiently off-putting so as to do the job.

It wasn't entirely accidental Grin

And yes I suspect that might throw even the most frenzied sex troll off their stride a little Grin

AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 21:45

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 21:43

It's a very Boris johnson-esque approach isn't it? Just brazenly lie and see if you get away with it

Now you've put Boris Johnson and the sex board together, what an unholy mental image.

Also, if no safeguarding measures do get put in place on the sex chat thread, posting pictures of Boris on there might be sufficiently off-putting so as to do the job.

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 21:43

BaroldFromEastenders · 22/02/2023 21:32

And the fact that at the same time a “glitch” caused the sex topic to become unhidden for everyone. We see what you’re doing - I don’t know why you’re pretending otherwise MN

It's a very Boris johnson-esque approach isn't it? Just brazenly lie and see if you get away with it

AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 21:43

Also, does 'we like to give change time to settle' mean 'we want to ride this out until you get bored complaining and finally shut up about it' or do they actually have a timeframe to assess the wild success and decide whether or not to keep it?

OP posts:
BaroldFromEastenders · 22/02/2023 21:32

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 21:27

So it's a complete coincidence that the threads moved to active at the same time you had a collaboration with a sex toy manufacturer?

And the fact that at the same time a “glitch” caused the sex topic to become unhidden for everyone. We see what you’re doing - I don’t know why you’re pretending otherwise MN

AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace · 22/02/2023 21:31

Based on how the other threads have gone, I suspect we won't get another answer from MN now - we're listening, please hide the topic is all they're prepared to say. Maybe someone else should start a Site Stuff thread solely about the sex chat to try to elicit a response that actually addresses that concern - why MN is happy to host it, what proactive safeguarding measures they can take and how it affects the brand to have a thread encouraging married men to solicit women. Good luck getting an answer to any of this if you try!

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 21:29

EmpressaurusOfCats · 22/02/2023 21:24

Thanks, @LilyMumsnet.

Does that mean that the sex board being moved to Active isn’t related to Ann Summers or Shrek’s ear?

I’m another one who’s interested in why the time limit has dropped from 90 days to 7, and what safeguarding measures you’re taking around minors accessing the sex chat thread & the sex board in general.

It's implausibly coincidental timing isn't it? Mumsnet must think we are stupid.

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 21:27

LilyMumsnet · 22/02/2023 21:11

Hi all

We're happy to clarify our position here. The decision to put topics in and out of Active is always made by MNHQ and it is not influenced by anyone else. We wanted to try Sex in active and we are keeping a close eye on the results. Ultimately, we want MNers to be able to find discussions that interest them and that they may find helpful.

As with any new change, we like to give things time to settle before we make any decisions. We’re continuing to keep an eye on the situation and are listening to all feedback. In the meantime, we are advising MNers to hide the topic if they don’t want to see it. If you are having any issues hiding the topic, please let us know and we'll do our best to help.

We generally only intervene on private messages when a MNer reports it to us. The report function is there to ensure we can take action if someone is found to be breaking our guidelines - which apply to PMs in the same way they do on the boards. As ever, if you have any concerns about a poster, please report them to us. We're always happy to take a look.

So it's a complete coincidence that the threads moved to active at the same time you had a collaboration with a sex toy manufacturer?

EmpressaurusOfCats · 22/02/2023 21:24

Thanks, @LilyMumsnet.

Does that mean that the sex board being moved to Active isn’t related to Ann Summers or Shrek’s ear?

I’m another one who’s interested in why the time limit has dropped from 90 days to 7, and what safeguarding measures you’re taking around minors accessing the sex chat thread & the sex board in general.

Getir · 22/02/2023 21:23

What's the reasoning behind allowing a hook up thread?

kittensinthekitchen · 22/02/2023 21:21

LilyMumsnet · 22/02/2023 21:11

Hi all

We're happy to clarify our position here. The decision to put topics in and out of Active is always made by MNHQ and it is not influenced by anyone else. We wanted to try Sex in active and we are keeping a close eye on the results. Ultimately, we want MNers to be able to find discussions that interest them and that they may find helpful.

As with any new change, we like to give things time to settle before we make any decisions. We’re continuing to keep an eye on the situation and are listening to all feedback. In the meantime, we are advising MNers to hide the topic if they don’t want to see it. If you are having any issues hiding the topic, please let us know and we'll do our best to help.

We generally only intervene on private messages when a MNer reports it to us. The report function is there to ensure we can take action if someone is found to be breaking our guidelines - which apply to PMs in the same way they do on the boards. As ever, if you have any concerns about a poster, please report them to us. We're always happy to take a look.

Do you think maybe you could respond to my emails, posts and reports I've been asking about for a week?

There's no point in saying you "hear" the users, then completely ignoring them.

BIWI · 22/02/2023 21:20

Thank you @LilyMumsnet.

However, you have studiously ignored one of the key issues, which is the sex chat thread. And the potential impact this might have on the rest of the board (never mind the safeguarding issues.)