Why are you allowing people to troll the Sex Board?

Better stay out of the cheating rugby player thread in Chat then because there's some properly lurid, descriptive stuff in there 😳

And what do you think will happen if our arguing about it gets picked up, like so many other threads on here. What do you think will happen to your thread then? 7 days before you can post isn't it?

I'm not a prude but there are huge safety issues. Feel empowered all you want, chat all you want but actually meeting up with people is alarming. Imagine the headlines if something went wrong.

There is always another side to a coin, IMO of course.

I didn't know this existed - I've just had a look at it.

Feeling a bit quesy now after about one minute of scrolling...especially the ones posted by men....

If people can't tell the difference in context, tone, impact and intention between a sex chat and a natter about catchment areas or Farrow & Ball skirting board shades, then... I dunno what to tell you!

@Surplus2requirements but it's never going to be conclusive because no one is obliged to respond to it, or to you. Fair play to you for caring (genuinely, I'm not being sacrastic) though.

Of course, a sexchat thread will not be to everyone's taste - and that's fine, so long as people keep a civil tongue in their head when they come out against it. Where I do take exception is when the dislikers try to get the whole thread taken down, when it's clear that it's very popular with both female and male users of MN alike - and yes, there are a lot of women on it. As to the suggestion that there are other forums that can be used for this purpose, the same might well be said to people on here who wish to talk about gardening, holidays, cookery, parking and so on. Should MN close all those lifestyle threads down too and confine the site only to a strict interpreration of parenting matters?

I agree it's a serious concern which is why I started a thread there asking about problematic DMs.

So far it appears minimal with only one saying she reported resulting in a ban but its too early yet to be conclusive.

The only thing we can do is block all DMs. I switched mine off ages ago.

I get the attraction of it, being on Mumsnet is much less likely to make a partner suspicious. I understand why people who are cheating would want to preserve that.

IMO anyway.

The so-called hook up thread (the sexchat thread) was an initiative of one of the many, many women users of that thread who have enjoyed its existence for several months now

There are what? 112 men on that thread going on a post. Far outweighs the number of women. How many messages does 1 women get when she posts? Why are there posts being firm with men overstepping boundaries? Stroppy posts from men who aren't getting the chat they demand.

Mumsnet can't keep woman safe from dodgy specimens. There are sites out there that give added protection, like a general block function.

It may have started out like that @everywhichway but it's now dominated by men. There are other sites for that - adult wok and only fans spring to mind.

I couldn’t give a flying frig if it’s men or women but when anyone in a relationship is openly using MN to find online (or RL, it’s doesn’t really matter) fuckbuddies it feels off and DEFINITELY ‘not in the spirit’ to use MNHQ’s own terminology.

The so-called hook up thread (the sexchat thread) was an initiative of one of the many, many women users of that thread who have enjoyed its existence for several months now. Some of these women invite chats from male users of the thread, others wish to chat only to other women. Articulate, intelligent people in large numbers, drawn from all walks of life - lawyers, teachers, health care professionals, the list goes on. Women who are doubtless no less exercised by matters of safety, boundaries, respect and so on as are many other MN women. Some of these women users have cautionary tales to offer of past experiences, some are there just to have fun, some because they find it life affirming. Many are long term users of the thread, some come onto it for only a short while, but almost without exception they are good-natured, polite and non-judgemental of others. So let's treat them with a bit of respect shall we? And also stop the pretence that this thread serves the interests only of so-called pervy and seedy middle aged men.

They are encouraging adultery?
That's sickening.

I would have assumed that a board on a site called MUMSNET would have been relevant to women and mothering.
There might well be issues that could be useful to discuss anonymously with other mums about sex. Issues around sex after childbirth, medical difficulties, managing time around family etc etc are relevant here.

But finding that part of the website is used by men to discuss their sleazy activities in an immature 'naughty-naughty' way, knowing that it's inappropriate and offensive, is nasty.
It's like going to a meeting of mums, only to find a load of blokes with their dicks hanging out, having a wank.

I only signed up to Mumsnet recently and some of the boards are incredibly thoughtful and positive. There's a real woman-positive vibe to some of them. But if the site is going to become more male's sleaze and snigger, I'm off.

I've lurked much longer than I've posted and there does seem to have been a significant shift in tone very recently. I don't imagine most of us were unaware of what a vibrator is and were perfectly capable of sourcing one without having endless ads for Shrek's Ear popping up. The fact this "campaign" coincided with the sex board appearing in active and the posting rule being reduced to 7 days is not coincidental IMO.

I'm not against a sex board in principle but feel it should be opt in, as it was, rather than opt out and the issues app users are having in hiding it should have been considered well in advance. It had rather passed me by but I did look over there this week and like so many others really, really cannot understand why Mumsnet is hosting the pick up thread (and it is a pick up thread, dominated by men) If married people want to find FWBs (etc) they have an incredible variety of options open to them, why do they need somewhere that is still principally positioned as a parenting website with a predominance of women users?

My six pennyworth and put much better by others, but wanted to add my view. Before this I was about to sign up for Premium. I won't be doing that now.

I didn’t even know it existed, took a look and a few posters are openly stating that they are married. It’s yuck that MN is facilitating adultery, especially when moralising on ‘not in the spirit’ with certain aspects of moderation.

I don't like the sex hook up thread. I was cheated on by someone who used a hook up site and I feel upset that mumsnet are encouraging that sort of behaviour here.

Additionally, the website crashes my browser on my phone, so I can't get it to hide the section.

But. I don't want to have to hide the whole section. I'd like to be able to ask questions about sex, as a menopausal woman who has no one to ask, but the whole tone of the board now is just sleazy.

It's full of what seems to me to be creepy predatory men using the board as a wank bank and hook up site.

This. Pretty dismayed at HQ's refusal to take on board criticism about this - plus the appearance of vibrator ads when I am browsing.

It does seem to be that thread. Which is weird because it's woman who get swamped with messages and men whinging their inbox is empty. There seems to be a decent amount of disrespectful men. Why would you want to protect something like that? There are a million hook up sites, just for this sort of thing. With I'm sure added protection for the user's against creeps.

Definitely

@LucyLeave you seem very interested for someone so appalled by it 😜

The sex chat thread seems to cause a lot of issues for the ones who do use it. They are always flouncing and moaning that people are 'ghosting' them.

@BIWI I appreciate you were thankfully not involved, but some people were absolutely trying to shame specific posters on the sex board.

It’s really not about shaming sex or whatever though.

It IS the case that encouraging lots of sex contact alters the user base and tone of a site like MN.

Seeing sex chat threads in active will put off existing users - it does. The ones complaining are the often long-standing users who are already invested in MN and value it such that they are willing to take measures to hide the sex topic. Less invested users will just not return.

People who might have become regular users may well look through active and decide it’s not the site for them based on all the threads about sex chat in active. So you get a slew in newer users to those who want that kind of content.

I mean, maybe that’s MN’s business plan. They feel there’s more money to be made from that user base.

It’s really offensive to insist that anyone who objects to sex threads in active as the default is some sort of dreadful prude or a frigid cow who hates sex.