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Original poster

Why are you allowing people to troll the Sex Board?

262 replies

HornyBee · 18/02/2023 12:36

If it was any other board you wouldn't allow it.
If I went on another board and started posting recipes and taking the piss out of the posters I'd quickly be banned.
It is flooded with people trolling it.
Every single thread.
It's really horrible.
Take it off active or just shut the whole board down.
It's disgusting.

OP posts:
Clymene · 19/02/2023 21:45

HornyBee · 19/02/2023 21:30

"What people have taken offence at is the sex topic appearing in Active. Not the actual threads themselves."

This is not true i'm afraid. You don't speak for everyone. There were some vile things posted on the threads on the sex board that showed they very much had a problem with the actual threads (and I'm not talking about the sex chat one) Calling posters disgusting, perverts, vomit emojis when they had just gone on there to ask a question/advise about something sex related.

You're salty because you're using the board to hook up with blokes. I'm sure there are other places to do that

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:44

45, male, 6ft+, fit, not getting any at home would like to chat to woman in similar position for chatting about fantasies and anything about sex really and also everyday stuff as well,Really naughty woman enquire within, you wont be disappointed!

The latest post on the Sex Chat thread. Are you really saying people aren't getting off on this?

Surplus2requirements · 19/02/2023 21:44

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:40

And for pity's sake, stop trying to mansplain it to us @Surplus2requirements

With respect (seriously) I think its fair to think I might have a better idea of what most men would like to get themselves off and the use of man's planning is unfair and trying to shut me down.

I do think the sex chat thread in Sex Topics is a different issue and should be discussed separately.

Getir · 19/02/2023 21:44

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 21:41

This is the latest post on that thread

45, male, 6ft+, fit, not getting any at home would like to chat to woman in similar position for chatting about fantasies and anything about sex really and also everyday stuff as well,Really naughty woman enquire within, you wont be disappointed!

If that isn't just seedy and encouraging cheating can someone explain to me what it is?

How MN can allow that is beyond me. WTF is wrong with them? Who thinks that's ok on a site that's supposed to support women.

Original poster
HornyBee · 19/02/2023 21:42

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:34

... in which case, though, @HornyBee - if so many have MNetters objected, surely that would indicate that it's a bit of an issue for Mumsnet to have such a topic? And the threads linked to by @ShowOfHands show just how @MNHQ were also wary of starting a sex topic?

Is it really 'so many' though that object?
The trolling was coming from a handful of people. That's hardly a lot compared to all the users of mumnet.

Anyway. My thread here was about MN not stopping the trolling, but this is being dealt with now.

OP posts:
radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 21:41

This is the latest post on that thread

45, male, 6ft+, fit, not getting any at home would like to chat to woman in similar position for chatting about fantasies and anything about sex really and also everyday stuff as well,Really naughty woman enquire within, you wont be disappointed!

If that isn't just seedy and encouraging cheating can someone explain to me what it is?

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:40

And for pity's sake, stop trying to mansplain it to us @Surplus2requirements

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:39

And actually, the reason for having a sex board initially, was for women to talk about women's issues with/questions about sex.

Which seems to have been forgotten.

It wasn't somewhere that anyone envisaged would become a place to trawl for sexual encounters.

Surplus2requirements · 19/02/2023 21:39

Mermaidparades · 19/02/2023 21:33

@Getir wank fodder? Really? If I wanted to read something sexually arousing there are far better authors available for free elsewhere on the internet!

There's some far more explicit stuff on the Cheating Rugby Player thread in Chat. Descriptive blow by blow accounts of two videos but all done with an appropriate level of disgust so it's OK I guess 😯

Honestly I'm amazed anyone seriously thinks anyone is getting off on the sex topic threads

GCAcademic · 19/02/2023 21:34

gamerchick · 19/02/2023 21:30

There are loads of places on the internet where you can arrange hook-ups for sex or sex chat. So why Mumsnet? And, more interestingly, why are so many men posting there?

I'm assuming because it looks innocent to partners of these people. I'm sure if it gets out that Mumsnet is a place to hook up for sex, we'll find a slew of deactivated accounts, a slew of men coming to take a look and try their hand and a knock on of innocent people being questioned to why they're on a forum where people hook up for sex.

I expect that will happen sooner rather than later. The gutter press trawl these boards and are likely to come across this thread and others like it. Some parasite occupying the role of what used to be a journalist is probably writing this up as we speak.

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:34

... in which case, though, @HornyBee - if so many have MNetters objected, surely that would indicate that it's a bit of an issue for Mumsnet to have such a topic? And the threads linked to by @ShowOfHands show just how @MNHQ were also wary of starting a sex topic?

Mermaidparades · 19/02/2023 21:33

@Getir wank fodder? Really? If I wanted to read something sexually arousing there are far better authors available for free elsewhere on the internet!

Original poster
HornyBee · 19/02/2023 21:30

"What people have taken offence at is the sex topic appearing in Active. Not the actual threads themselves."

This is not true i'm afraid. You don't speak for everyone. There were some vile things posted on the threads on the sex board that showed they very much had a problem with the actual threads (and I'm not talking about the sex chat one) Calling posters disgusting, perverts, vomit emojis when they had just gone on there to ask a question/advise about something sex related.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 19/02/2023 21:30

There are loads of places on the internet where you can arrange hook-ups for sex or sex chat. So why Mumsnet? And, more interestingly, why are so many men posting there?

I'm assuming because it looks innocent to partners of these people. I'm sure if it gets out that Mumsnet is a place to hook up for sex, we'll find a slew of deactivated accounts, a slew of men coming to take a look and try their hand and a knock on of innocent people being questioned to why they're on a forum where people hook up for sex.

Mermaidparades · 19/02/2023 21:29

@BIWI I agree with your reasons for having a Sex topic

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:22

@Mermaidparades you have totally ignored the rest of my post, which was about why MNetters might actually want a sex topic.

Getir · 19/02/2023 21:21

I've taken offence at some of the thread titles in Active without even a NSFW tag. And the sex topic in general being used by some men as wank fodder. All things MN wouldn't have allowed before. So maybe Justine could pop on when she has a minute to explain what has changed.

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:19

What people have taken offence at @Mermaidparades is the sex topic appearing in Active. Not the actual threads themselves.

People don't want to read those thread titles in their Active convo list.

There is a big difference. So when the sex topic was hidden, and didn't appear in Active convos, all was fine.

But the sex chat thread is clearly not fine. And not what has been expected!

Mermaidparades · 19/02/2023 21:14

@BIWI that isn’t the case at all. Posters have taken great offence at most of the topics on the sex board actually!!

BIWI · 19/02/2023 21:10

... and it's that one thread that people are objecting to. You're being a bit obtuse if you don't appreciate that.

The idea of having a topic specifically for women to discuss issues they might have about sex is fine. There are lots of reasons why MNetters might want to do this, ranging from specific problems (during pregnancy, after birth, during menopause, with partners who have different libidos, etc) to enjoyment of sex and different ways of enjoying sex. I don't think any of us have a problem with that.)

What we have a problem with - and I realise I'm risking assuming that I'm speaking for everyone Grin - is the hook-up thread that is Sex Chat. I don't think anyone envisaged, or hoped, that this kind of thread would end up on Mumsnet.

I can totally understand that someone like you @HornyBee (and the other posters on that thread) might want to tout for sexual encounters. But why on Mumsnet? Why not go on the multitude of other adult sites that exist for that very purpose?

On a site that has a huge topic aimed at helping women with relationships with their partners, where so many are subject to cheating and/or abuse (of any kind) - having this kind of thread really doesn't sit well.

There are loads of places on the internet where you can arrange hook-ups for sex or sex chat. So why Mumsnet? And, more interestingly, why are so many men posting there?

BoreOfWhabylon · 19/02/2023 21:04

It looks like there's been a policy change at MNHQ and I suspect there is no point haranguing the mods about this. I'm sure it's outside their remit and the longstanding mods are probably as appalled as we are.

@JustineMumsnet why is MN seemingly hell-bent on attracting porn-soaked inadequate men to the site with the prospect of sex chats and hook ups? This is bleeding into other areas of the site now, with mansplainers and perverts poping up (so to speak!) everywhere. This is a huge departure from what was always The Spirit of Mumsnet.

Original poster
HornyBee · 19/02/2023 20:52

"It isn't just a sex topic though is it?"

Uh..yes it is. You're referring to 1 thread on the whole of the sex board.

OP posts:
BoreOfWhabylon · 19/02/2023 20:46

ShowOfHands · 19/02/2023 11:19

It isn't just a sex topic though is it? It isn't just a place where people talk about something or query something or describe an issue. It's become an actual place to hook up with other people, the private message facility used to enable people to have sex. Not talk about it, actually do it. Married people. Openly married people. In the meantime, people's worlds are falling apart due to cheating and MN is offering a safe space and support through it in another topic. You simply cannot claim to make parents' lives easier and continue hosting important safe spaces and discussions at the very same time as you introduce a wholesale change of use and tone and force us all to partake.

I've been on MN 20yrs and once upon a time, it was so desperately needed to provide solace, advice, wit, counsel. It literally saved lives. It held hands and changed fortunes. People relied on it. Its USP seemed so necessary. And do you know what, we also talked about sex. Just like we always have. Because talking about sex is not the issue. And we were pretty good at spotting and dealing with men and women who came here for sexual kicks because, you know what, they had the rest of the Internet for that.

And calling us prudish for objecting? Suggesting we check our responses? Well you can fuck right off. It's not about pearl clutching or bosom hoiking. We aren't what you call us, sanctimonious or snowflakes and we aren't spoiling your fun. You are spoiling ours and a little humility that our comfort might rank as highly as your need to wank would be just dandy. You aren't there for the chat or the wit or the meeting of minds because MN has done that for 20 yrs without your "tiptoes in feeling naughty M52 looking for fun chats winkety fucking wink". You want to have sex.

The least MN can do is hide the bloody topic.

Hear hear Showy

Original poster
HornyBee · 19/02/2023 13:30

TheShellBeach · 19/02/2023 11:42

Your user name tells me a lot about you.

Show quote history

This personal attack is possibly the funniest thing I've read on the Internet in a long time 🤣🤣🤣

The username I chose for when posting on a sex topic includes the word... wait for it... gasp, shock, horror... HORNY😱
Totally busted 🙈!!!
So now you have me allllll figured out! 🤣

Why are you trying to get a rise out of me? Why are you making a personal attack against me? What have I done? Apart from report all your trolling posts...??

I didn't put the sex topic in active.
I didn't allow a thread where people can message each other to chat about sex.
I haven't broken any MN guidelines.
I genuinely don't understand what I've done wrong?!!!

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 19/02/2023 13:09

BIWI · 19/02/2023 12:43

Got lost down a rabbit hole from that link @ShowOfHands - sad to see names of those no longer with us Sad

... but also how much more lighthearted things were, and how frequently the mods (and Justine) would come and chat on threads.

It physically hurt seeing BoF's name 😞 Good God I miss her.

And Helen and Gerry and even Justine were bloody lovely and funny and came and spoke to us, had a larf, listened. Tech used to lumber out of his shed wit' big 'ammer. No idea who's who now.

Maybe it's all just different now and MN is a brothel above a chippy and some of us just wanted a fish supper but can't avoid the bloke in the corner who wants a finger up his bum and a battered sausage.