Official Complaint to Mumsnet

I’m sure Justine isn’t hands on anymore.

My point is that you would’ve thought that a site for mothers, well known for its lively FWR boards, would be the last place to pitch a gender woo vibrator with a Victorian taboo-busting trope.

Surely somebody working at MNHQ could see that?

I really don’t get the impression that Justine is that hands on any more. That recent interview where the FWR posters were slagged off (for believing the same as most of the public and decent politicians on matters of women’s rights, it turns out) looked very much that way.

I do think she wants to monetise the fuck out of it before cutting ties or selling it though which will make for an increasingly shit user experience (and forgets that we provide the content for free) but is her right as a business owner. However, I would elevate Justine to absolute international stateswoman goddess level and respect her forever if she would Go High and turn MN into a not for profit as her founder’s legacy and leave it as a place for women to speak freely and support and entertain each other with parenting and other aspects of life for years to come.

I doubt it even got in front of Justine. If it had she would have been here like a shot to tell us off for being angry about it

It must be a pain trying to make advertising money for a website and having to check out whether brands align with your own brand in terms of values etc. I’m not in any way knowledgable about advertising, marketing etc, but I can imagine it’s a bloody nightmare.

But for fuck sake, this one wasn’t hard was it?

’We are looking to co-create a vibrator for women. These two blokes with their cis-gender speak on their website and their use of ‘vulva owners’ in their ad copy and their creepy pitch about Mum-sex taboos might not be the best fit for us. What do you think, Justine?’

🤦‍♀️

Can I just clarify, it was not Mumsnet who used word 'cis' that was from the actual website of the product.

Exactly

Marketing for men, by men, demonstrating how little they actually understand about women's bodies and needs.

The only sex aid I wanted each time in the weeks after birth was 12 hours sleep.

This thread just reminded me of the scene in dinnerladies:

Dolly - "Just because I have a full sex life."
Jean - "Oh yeah? Then what's that appliance in your underskirt drawer?"

Apparently sex for mums in 2023 is a 'taboo' subject but 60 year old women in mainstream BBC sitcoms in the 90s were making jokes about it.

I make a point of not really looking at any of the adverts on here. As much as possible, I scroll through threads and don’t focus on the ads on the side/in the middle.

Only two so far in recent months have kind of caught my attention. One was for Bentley, which I thought was totally tone-deaf in the current (or any) climate. The other was for this product - I didn’t really pay any attention, just glanced at the image, and thought it was maybe an air freshener.

Earlier yesterday, I caught the thread title on the first page of the Trending box. It stuck in my head, so I searched for it as was interested to see what it was about.

I haven’t clicked on the ad, after reading this I have no interest in doing so. And lots of people have already expressed, very well, what the issues are with it.

Was the term cis/cis-gender really used in it? If so, I am really pissed off.

I have spent quite a long time reading the FWR board. Seeing WOMEN policing their language and tying themselves in knots to get their point across without falling foul of guidelines and online monitors.

I would just like to remind Mumsnet that their guidelines for the FWR board, which are more stringent than elsewhere on the site, acknowledge that this term is not welcomed by WOMEN. So WTF would they think it’s acceptable to be used in an advert on a product that they’ve collaborated with - and then plaster said advert on the site?

Sorry, I know this is a small point, but it has really got my back up.

As others have said, I do feel for some of the moderators on here. Bloody thankless job when having to firefight some of the thoughtless decisions that get implemented.

Lastly, the poster who made the Volvo not womby enough comment gets a big thank you - that made me properly laugh after a fairly rubbish day.

It’s so strange isn’t it, I mean the product itself is 🤷‍♀️but ok I suppose. But then the concept of new mothers and sex being taboo is dodgy but then the grand finale of vulva-havers etc with the cherry on top of baby bottle bullet points is just… bizarre. It’s like Mumsnet staff weren’t involved at all when they must have been? It’s almost literally what you’d do if you set out to cause outrage on here.

They could have just done a ‘here’s an entry level (ha) vibrator for women that don’t want to research any further than that and trust our brand’ but instead they decided to do, er, this.

I wish I was! I would have thought this scenario was too ‘circa ‘The Office’ era’ but based on the marketing for this product apparently not! 😂😂

WombsofWimbledon that really made me laugh! I hope you write comedy scripts for your job- if you don’t, your powers are being wasted!

This about covers it. ‘Let’s sell them a product to ease them back in.’ The mistake is advertising it on a women’s vs men’s website.

I agree that this is an insult to women and to mothers. The baby bottle bullet points 🤢 What the hell were you thinking Mumsnet? You are the home of an amazing space for feminists, for which I thank you, and yet still??

The only taboo around sex after childbirth that I'm aware of is men wondering (ideally not out loud) 'when can I get my dick wet again?' and this marketing campaign seems to be geared towards helping the new mummies get their heads around getting that dick wet sooner rather than later. Never mind that many women are often not interested into rushing into things, and will know when they are ready. They are also perfectly able to get their old vibrator out if they feel like it, they are not a new invention If your 'vulva' is too sensitive, you're probably going to focus on more important things, like trying to get some sleep (or in my case, survive severe PND). On the other hand, those new mothers who are raring to go and feeling horny clearly know what to do, don't they?

The marketing guff reads as if it were written by extraterrestrials whose only research into women's sexuality was talking to Stonewall interns Apart from all the other issues, it's so blatant that this product has been created solely as a potential new revenue stream, and I'm sick to the back teeth of cynical capitalist bullshit like this, especially when it's dressed up in faux-concerned woke fuckery.

As @TrashyPanda explains well @discobrain, the language is absolutely not inclusive. Because not all natal women have wombs.

Why is their inclusion, when it comes to language, less important than that of trans people?

I'd love an answer to that question whenever you get a chance.

I prefer the vibrators & lubes etc from the Netflix series starring Jane Fonda & Lily Tomalin. They invent a vibrator for menopausal women and are honest about women’s bodies.

why do you define yourself by an organ?
why not be “a person with a gall bladder”?

Clearly being a woman IS important to them, and they want you to know they are a woman, despite their "non-binary" wank. If they didn't then yes, gallbladder would be as good an organ as any other.

Do you think vibrators are a thing of mystery to older women?

or do you just think we are daft?

I don’t have a womb.
i had a hysterectomy.
it doesn’t make me less of a woman.
that’s why “womb havers” is offensive.

why do you define yourself by an organ?
why not be “a person with a gall bladder”?

MN isn't in general, quick to apologise. Often they tell users to suck it up, so the speed at which they responded and then apologised does make me think that the moderators were firmly in the 'I told you so' camp.

Why isn’t this thread in ‘trending’?

This picture has me imagining confusion at the next PTA Family Bingo Night. Sorted for tombola donation though.

I'd love to see Alan sugar's reaction to a business that decided to produce marketing material that targeted "vulva owners"

Pastel green is the obvious choice.
It couldn’t be baby blue as the girl mummies wouldn’t want it, and same with pink and boy mummies.
Green is perfect for all mummies. Greige next please.

I reckon they asked the Apprentice candidates!!